


Hypernova

by Evoxine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Includes ex-members, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 03:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evoxine/pseuds/Evoxine
Summary: This is the story of how Jongin and Sehun's friendship forms, strengthens, and delves into love over the years.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Most of the events in the fic are based on canon events. 
> 
> Originally written and posted on LJ in **2015**. Apart from a quick read through to fix typos and stuff, I did **not edit much of the fic.**

It’s the same story every single time. Today, Jongin opens the door to the dance studio and it takes him a minute or so to notice the absence of a trainee who always seemed to enjoy practice. She’s no longer standing at the front of the room, where she usually stretches out her hamstrings while chatting with a fellow trainee. He walks up to Moonkyu, drops his bag in its usual corner, and jostles his friend’s shoulder.

“Where did Yunbi go?”

“She quit, apparently. Last night.”

“Couldn’t take it?”

“Yeah.”

And by default, it’s also the same conversation every single time. Just two weeks ago, Jongin had walked into vocal training to discover Kyutae missing from the group. He’d asked where the boy had gone, and barely ten seconds later, learned that Kyutae wasn't able to take the pressure either. S.M. Entertainment is notoriously good at replacing trainees in the blink of an eye, and Jongin had expected to see a new face around before the week’s end. Sure enough, Kyutae was replaced three days later by a tall boy from Canada.

Moonkyu shrugs and pinches Jongin’s cheek.

“You better not leave,” he says seriously. Jongin shakes his head furiously.

“Never.”

He’d done so much to get into the company – he will never leave.

 

 

 

 

The new addition is a boy with a thick head of hair and round cheeks. The introduction of new trainees always goes the same way, and with every new name he learns, Jongin wonders how many more names he’ll have to learn before he debuts.

“Nice to meet you all, my name is Oh Sehun. Please take good care of me.”

Soft notes of a lisp hit Jongin’s ears, and he glances up from his shoes at Sehun in time to see him bow low, the bumps of his vertebrae pushing clearly against the skin stretched down his neck. When Sehun straightens, Jongin studies his face – Sehun’s eyes are bright but unreadable, and Jongin swallows a sigh as he looks away. Will this boy last?

Moonkyu is the more outgoing one between the two of them, and Jongin watches with mild apprehension as Moonkyu approaches Sehun during their five-minute break. To him, Sehun doesn’t look too approachable.

“Sehun, right? Hello, my name’s Moonkyu, and I’m 16! You look really young; how old are you?”

“It’s an honour to meet you, hyung. I’m 15 years old,” Sehun answers, bowing. His expression doesn’t change from its passive state, and Jongin shifts uncomfortably in his shoes.

“Ah, so is Jongin here,” Moonkyu says, pulling on Jongin’s shirt until the boy finally stumbles up to his side. “But he’s technically your elder. Say hi, Jongin.”

“Hyung,” Jongin whines, voice low. He can feel Sehun’s steady gaze on the side of his face.

“You have to set a good impression,” Moonkyu lectures, and Jongin sighs despondently.

“Hi, Sehun. I’m Jongin.”

Sehun bows again in acknowledgement.

“Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jongin chooses not to dignify his friend with a response. Moonkyu rolls his eyes and turns back to Sehun.

“I wish you luck here; it’s not an easy journey, but hard work and dedication will get you far. What’s your speciality?”

At that question, Sehun turns a little pink in the cheeks and he scratches the back of his neck. “I don’t know exactly. I was scouted two years ago and I felt sorry for the person who had to chase me through the streets, so I agreed to audition.”

“I’m sorry? Chased?” Jongin blurts.

Sehun grins sheepishly, and Jongin is taken aback by the sudden transformation in the boy’s face. Those bright eyes crinkle up into crescents, and soft mounds of baby fat rise above the hollow of his cheeks. Cute.

“My mother taught me to run from strangers,” Sehun explains. “So I did. Nearly spilled my ddeokbokki down my shirt, too.”

Moonkyu guffaws and Jongin cracks a smile. Sehun wrinkles his nose and sighs. “Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel bad. But I shouldn’t, right? I mean, I listened to my mother as I should’ve!”

“You shouldn’t feel bad,” Moonkyu agrees. “Besides, it’s a scout’s job to chase down potential stars! Literally, in your case.”

When Sehun smiles widely, Jongin feels a bite of regret starting to nibble away at him. Maybe he shouldn’t have judged this boy so quickly.

 

 

 

  
It doesn't come as a surprise to Jongin, seeing Moonkyu and Sehun hitting it off almost instantly. His friend draws people to him like moths to an ever-burning flame, and Jongin begins to see Sehun everywhere, from eating at the same table during meal breaks to appearing within his small (but seemingly growing) group of friends whenever they'd venture into the heart of town during a day off. Somewhere along the road, Moonkyu introduces them to Chanyeol, another new trainee that he'd met during rap practice, and Jongin watches with a mix of curiosity and muted envy as friendships begin to bloom before his very eyes.

Approaching people really isn't Jongin's cup of tea. Even as he grows older and matures in certain aspects of life, this is something he's positive will not change in the future. strong-willed and reserved, and that combination tends to result in some form of an intimidating aura that prevents many individuals from approaching him. It’d been that way ever since he had peers, and Jongin started his first day in S.M. Entertainment not expecting anything different. After a few months of greeting seniors politely and engaging in brief conversations with fellow trainees, Jongin stumbled into his first friendship. Impressed with Jongin’s drive and sheer talent after witnessing a solo practice session one day, Taemin quickly befriended the young trainee and took Jongin under his wing. But due to the increasing demands of his schedule as he approached his debut date, Taemin was unable to spend as much time with Jongin as he would've liked. He was the one who introduced Jongin to the outgoing Moonkyu, telling Jongin that he'd be well taken care of, and the rest is history. Names of trainees that Jongin had never really taken the time to learn melt into his brain like cups of warm butter, and by the time Moonkyu settles comfortably into Jongin’s life, he’s got more acquaintances than he can count.

Jongin’s never bothered by the small number of people he can call friends. Yet, there are moments where he’d wish that there were more shoulders around for him to lean on. So, he never turns down Moonkyu’s invitations to hang out, nor does he shy away from larger groups. But being known as one of Moonkyu’s friends does, more often than not, limit you to that one position.

It does come as a surprise when it’s Sehun that approaches him one day as he’s on a water break, fingers curled around a half-finished cup of bubble tea. Conversation between the both of them hasn’t developed past friendly greetings that last for a handful of minutes at a time – Moonkyu would always be around to engage Sehun in something that the boy would actually find interesting.

“Ah, Jongin hyung! We’re going to watch the new blockbuster at the end of the month, you should join us!”

Jongin chooses to believe it’s excitement that he hears in Sehun’s voice, and he clings to that belief as he agrees. Sehun beams at his answer and shakes his cup of bubble tea happily.

“I’ll buy you bubble tea one day, hyung! See you in practice!”

Chanyeol and Junmyeon, one of the older trainees, walk by then, and Sehun darts over to Chanyeol’s side after giving Jongin one last wave. The second Chanyeol turns to Sehun, the boy lets forth a flood of sentences about some anime Jongin doesn’t watch.

Jongin watches the three of them round a corner, and he walks into the dance studio with a small smile playing along the seam of his lips that Moonkyu doesn’t fail to notice.

 

 

 

  
At the end of the month, Jongin finds himself frowning at his reflection in the mirror – more specifically, at the few stubborn pimples scattered across his forehead – as he gets ready for the planned night out at the movies. He pulls on his only pair of jeans that still fit him around the waist after his latest growth spurt, and promptly sighs at the large sliver of skin between the line of his socks and the end of his pant legs. His need for new jeans have hit a new high.

He’s in the middle of pulling on a fresh shirt when someone knocks on the door. Expecting it to be Moonkyu, Jongin shuffles over to the door and flings it open as he sticks an arm through an opening.

“Oh – should I come back later?”

Jongin sticks his head through his shirt and blinks at Sehun.

“Oh my god, I thought you were Moonkyu.”

Sehun laughs openly, and Jongin glimpses a thin wire fastened along the back of his lower set of teeth.

“Sorry,” Sehun says. “Would you like me to come back later? I mean, I got ready too quickly, and I was just wondering if you did too. Chanyeol takes way too long, so I didn’t bother going over to his room, and –”

“No it’s okay,” Jongin blurts. “You can… stay.”

Sehun smiles another one of his really bright smiles and Jongin flushes instantly. The heat around his collar promptly increases when Sehun comments innocently on the length of his jeans.

“You’ve grown a lot since these jeans,” Sehun says, and Jongin cringes.

“Uh, yeah, I –”

“I have a pair that are too long for me, perhaps you want to try them and see if they fit you?”

Jongin blinks at Sehun, and Sehun simply gazes back at him, thick bangs falling into his eyes.

“Sure,” Jongin says slowly. “That’d be great.”

Springing up from his seat on Jongin’s bed, Sehun sprints out of Jongin’s room and down the hall with a hollered promise of a quick return.

Sehun’s jeans fit him like a dream. Proud, Sehun flops back onto Jongin’s bed and tells Jongin he can keep them until he grows out of them, too. Jongin mumbles a word of thanks and stuffs his socked feet into the closest pair of shoes.

When Moonkyu finally appears at his door, Jongin finds himself engaged in a heartfelt conversation with Sehun over their mutual dislike of heat.

“Time to go,” Moonkyu calls, a hand on the handle of Jongin’s door.

“– and that’s why I really, _really_ hate heat,” Sehun finishes with a note of finality.

Jongin can only nod in agreement as they shuffle out of his room. He’s shutting the door when Moonkyu (thankfully) comments on something other than their conversation about heat.

“You finally got around to getting new jeans?”

“...They’re Sehun’s,” Jongin says awkwardly, stuffing his phone into the pocket of said jeans.

“Yeah, they don’t fit me, but they fit Jongin hyung really well!” Sehun smiles. “I’ll go get Chanyeol hyung – please wait for us outside!”

They’re halfway down a flight of stairs when Moonkyu opens his mouth.

“He’s a sweet boy, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Jongin answers, keeping his eyes focused on his feet. Moonkyu doesn’t say anything else.

 

 

 

  
It’s just past 2 A.M., but Jongin’s been having troubles with a particular set of choreography, and with their bi-weekly evaluation soon approaching, he needs to get it down in order to maintain his good standing. Exhaustion has long become a permanent fixture in the marrow of his bones, but Jongin is used to pushing past mental and physical barriers in order to achieve even the smallest of goals.

As the track comes to an end, he drains a bottle of water and sets the track to play again. Too engrossed in the details of his movements, Jongin fails to notice the figure hovering outside the practice room, standing in the shadows of the hallway.

Unlike Jongin, Sehun never once dreamt of performing on stage. That is, until one of S.M. Entertainment’s talent scouts chased him down a busy street. The image of bright lights, screaming fans, and idol success slowly imprinted itself into his mind over time, and Sehun, young and unsure of what he wants, chose to pursue that image.

Now, as he stands outside and looks into the practice studio that Jongin’s in, the stark difference between them is startlingly evident. Moonkyu had told him one day that Jongin auditioned for the company in 2007, and made it through with sheer talent and passion. Jongin has a dream, Sehun realises, and he will do anything to fulfil it.

The closest thing Sehun’s ever had to a dream was when he’d found enjoyment in writing poetry and debated briefly over pursuing a career in the literary industry. But offhanded comments from friends and constantly evolving hobbies soon pushed that thought aside, and now he’s left working for a dream that isn’t really his. Sure, he may develop a love for dancing and singing and anything else that the company may choose to throw at him, but for now, he’s only here because he can be.

Leaning against the wall, Sehun looks on as Jongin runs through the choreography again and again, as sweat runs down his neck and soaks through the fabric of his shirt, as he constantly shakes his head in self-disapproval. When Jongin stops the music for the fifth time in a row due to frustration, Sehun walks up to the door and knocks.

“Hi,” he says. He tries to mask the tiredness in his voice – it’s nothing compared to what Jongin must be feeling. “Still training?”

“Yeah, I’m not getting this choreography as easily as I should be,” Jongin replies, lifting the hem of shirt to wipe the sweat off his forehead. “And you’re still working too, it seems.”

Shrugging, Sehun heads over to the stereo and rewinds the track. “I was just doing bits here and there; nothing much, really.”

He hits play. “Can I see you dance?”

Despite looking slightly perplexed, Jongin gets into position and lets muscle memory and the thrum of the music carry him through the choreography. Sehun watches, knees drawn up to his chest as the coolness of the mirror he’s leaning against seeps through his shirt.

When the music stops, Sehun chooses to let Jongin come to the realisation himself.

“I… ran through that whole piece,” Jongin finally utters. “No mistakes.”

“No mistakes,” Sehun echoes. He smiles.

Jongin exhales, and Sehun thinks some of the tension bundled up in the muscles running across and down Jongin’s shoulders evaporates along with the release of air from his lungs.

“You should take a hot shower and go to bed,” Sehun continues, rising to his feet. Jongin nods, and Sehun bows slightly before walking towards the door.

“Hyung,” he says after a moment, turning around in the doorway, “you’re an amazing dancer. And it’s not just because you’re trained – you have heart. The only thing you’re missing is belief. Believe you can do anything, because I know – we all know – you can. Good night.”

The door swings shut behind Sehun, and Jongin tosses Sehun’s words over and over in his mind until he’s got them memorised. When he leaves the practice room and heads down the hall, he passes another studio with its lights switched on and music trickling out from the opening beneath the door. Sehun’s inside, and there’s a heat to his movements that Jongin hasn’t seen since Sehun’s first day.

He waits until the song plays out before opening the door. Sehun’s eyes find his through the mirror.

“It’s almost 3, Sehun-ah. Let’s go to bed.”

 

  
“I believe that one does not have to be gifted with a talent in order to love it,” Jongin tells Sehun one day, “and I believe that it is possible to fall in love with something unexpected and have that be the driving force behind excelling in it.”

“Help me then,” Sehun says. “I want to fall in love with dance.”

“I can’t help you with that,” Jongin laughs, “you have to discover that for yourself.”

Sehun pulls a face but allows Jongin to usher him towards the middle of the practice room. It’s one of their days off, and instead of roaming about on the streets with Moonkyu and the rest of the gang, Sehun had easily agreed to let Jongin pull him into an impromptu practice session.

“Hyung,” Sehun says suddenly, stopping in the middle of an intricate move. “I’m starting high school soon.”

“Yes you are,” Jongin says absently, continuing with the choreography.

“You go to SOPA, right?”

Nodding, Jongin gestures for Sehun to get back to dancing.

“Please take care of me there,” Sehun mumbles, glancing over at Jongin with wide, pleading eyes. Snorting, Jongin physically corrects Sehun’s arm position and makes sure that Sehun internalises the change before answering.

“You’ll be fine in SOPA,” Jongin promises. “You’ll have me. And Moonkyu.”

Moonkyu himself barges into the room then, hollering something about heading out for bingsu. Sehun springs up at the mention of food and swivels around to look at Jongin.

“Come,” Sehun says, and Jongin follows.

They’re walking at a much slower pace behind Chanyeol and Moonkyu, and as they turn onto another street, Sehun nudges Jongin’s arm and says, “I’m happy I’ll have you in school.”

The tips of Jongin’s ears redden, but before he can reply, Junmyeon appears on Sehun’s other side and slings an arm across the boy’s shoulders.

“You’re getting so tall,” Junmyeon sighs. “There will be a day I’ll have to look up just to speak to you.”

Laughing, Sehun lets Junmyeon coddle him, but he doesn’t forget to circle fingers around Jongin’s wrist as they cross a road. He keeps his hold on Jongin throughout the entire journey to the bingsu shop.

 

 

 

  
Moonkyu, Taemin, and Sehun are the only ones who remember Jongin’s birthday. On his sixteenth birthday, Jongin wakes up to Moonkyu singing (yelling, more like) the birthday song right into his ear, and he finds a framed selca he had taken with Taemin a while back propped up against his dresser. He hangs it up next to the framed ‘thanks to’ of SHINee’s debut album that his friend had so kindly mentioned him in. Taemin had given that to him on his fifteenth birthday.

During lunch, Sehun surprises him with a lopsided cupcake. There’s a blue candle poked into the cake, and Sehun lights the candle before placing the cupcake in front of him.

“I remember you saying something about not liking yellow candles during your birthday last year,” Sehun says, “and I figured blue was a safe bet.”

Jongin smiles, closes his eyes, and makes a wish. After he blows out the flame, Sehun pushes a frayed notebook across the table.

“Remember when I told you I liked to write poetry and you encouraged me to continue writing? I did as you said. No one else has seen this, but I’d like you to – only if you want, of course.”

“I’d love to,” Jongin says, picking up the notebook. “I’ll take good care of this.”

“I know you will,” Sehun replies. He pushes the cupcake a little closer towards Jongin. “Sorry this looks squished. It was really crowded on the train this morning and Minseok hyung tripped over some poor old lady and nearly fell on me. Your poor cupcake took most of the impact.”

Minseok? Another friend of Sehun’s that Jongin doesn’t know. Jongin will always be amazed at how easily Sehun befriends people – Moonkyu has some serious competition.

Taking a hearty bite of the cupcake, Jongin chases the vanilla crumbs down with a swallow of water. He plays with a stray crumb and pushes the rest of the cake over to Sehun.

“Want some? Thanks for remembering my birthday,” he adds as an afterthought. Sehun shakes his head vehemently.

“It’s called being a good friend,” Sehun insists. “No rewards necessary. Eat your cake, hyung. Thank _you_ for being a good friend, too.”

Jongin polishes the rest of the cupcake off in one bite.

 

 

 

  
On Sehun’s first day of school, Jongin accompanies him into the school and gives him an encouraging smile. Sehun manages to wheedle Jongin into showing him around the school, and Jongin ends up being ten minutes late for his first class after dropping Sehun off in a classroom across the building from his own.

During lunch, Jongin isn’t surprised to see Sehun sitting amongst a group of teenagers, chatting animatedly as if he’s known these students for years. When Sehun catches sight of Jongin, he waves and tries to get Jongin to sit with him – Jongin shakes his head and gestures for Sehun to go on and have lunch without him.

By the time Moonkyu slides into the seat next to him, they’re halfway into the lunch block and Jongin’s food is still untouched in its tray. Chewing on a spoonful of rice, Moonkyu jostles Jongin’s knee and raises an eyebrow in question.

“It’s amazing how he’s so likeable,” Jongin muses, chopsticks resting between his fingers. A few tables away, Sehun lets out a bark of laughter.

Moonkyu hums around his mouthful of food.

"He's good for you, you know," Moonkyu says, swallowing his food. Jongin looks at him curiously.

"He balances you out. Brings you out of your shell a little. It's not a great big difference, but it's noticeable. You initiate interactions more often nowadays, and I see more of your personality in things that you say and do."

"You make it sound like I'm a soulless hermit," Jongin grumbles, stabbing at a slice of meat.

"Maybe you were one in your past life," Moonkyu shrugs, and laughs when Jongin shoves him out of his chair.

 

 

 

  
When Sehun’s birthday rolls around, he comes back to the company after school with an armful of gifts from his classmates. They’re left in the corner of the studio during practice, and Jongin spends a good fifteen minutes with Sehun when practice is over attempting to stuff most of them into his backpack. Sehun’s heading home tonight to celebrate his birthday with his family, and if he wants to catch the subway, he should leave soon.

“Wait,” Jongin calls, and Sehun stops at the door. “I got you something, too.”

Jongin pushes a package into Sehun’s hands. “You filled up the notebook you use for poetry, didn’t you? I got you two more – they’re really nice notebooks, with hardy covers and thick paper. And there’s also –”

“You know, you’re spoiling the surprise one gets in opening presents,” Sehun teases, and his smile only gets wider when Jongin stops talking.

“Thank you for the birthday present,” Sehun continues, and lurches forward to give Jongin a really tight hug.

When Jongin returns the hug and reaches up with a hand to ruffle Sehun’s hair, Moonkyu’s words suddenly ring out loud and clear in his head. _He’s good for you, you know_. Jongin has to agree.

“There’s a surprise for you in your room,” Sehun says when he pulls away. “I won’t tell you what it is, because that defeats the purpose of a surprise.”

He’s grinning as he walks out of the practice room. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Jongin hyung!”

Hours later, Jongin returns to his room and finds a bag full of canned cider and a whole box of 쫀쪼니 waiting for him on his desk. He takes a picture with his phone and sends Sehun a text containing a bunch of smiley faces.

 

 

 

  
“He seems scary,” Jongin frowns, peering at the new trainee across the room.

“Kyungsoo hyung is not scary,” Sehun chides, “and you shouldn’t say anything along those lines until you actually speak to him!”

True, Jongin thinks. He’d been quick to judge Sehun himself a couple of years ago, and look at them now.

“He’s a really good singer,” Sehun continues to say, “Junmyeon hyung says he might be debuting along with us. I hope he does, he’s really nice to me.”

“Everyone’s really nice to you,” Jongin comments, stretching out his back. “Everyone likes you.”

“Not everyone.”

Jongin turns to look at Sehun over his shoulder. “What?”

“I mean, no one is liked by _everyone_. That’s impossible.” Shrugging, Sehun stops with his hamstring stretches and leans against the mirror. “Maybe I’ll ask him to join us for lunch. Yeah?”

“Sure,” Jongin says, “of course.”

At that, Sehun nods in determination and pushes off the mirror. Jongin watches him approach Kyungsoo, and sure enough, after a few animated gestures from Sehun, Kyungsoo smiles and inclines his head.

 

 

 

  
As it turns out, Jongin quickly befriends Kyungsoo. Sehun is equally quick to remind him that _see? Kyungsoo is nowhere as scary as you thought he’d be!_

Their new friendship doesn't come as a surprise to Sehun. He had met Kyungsoo for the first time outside Junmyeon's room, where Junmyeon was just about to show Kyungsoo where the vocal training studios are located. Upon catching sight of Sehun, Junmyeon had introduced the two, and Sehun found himself trailing after his hyungs instead of squeezing in some practice.

"How long have you been a trainee here?"

_Kyungsoo has a really nice voice,_ Sehun had thought.

"Two years," was Sehun's reply, and Kyungsoo had nodded at that.

"You're a dancer, aren't you? You look like one."

That was the first time anyone has ever told him that he looked like a dancer. Sehun, a little flustered, proceeded to thank Kyungsoo repeatedly.

"The trainers here are really good," Sehun had said. "It's all thanks to them, really."

"But trainers can only do so much. They can't instill pure passion."

All Sehun thought of then was Jongin. His friend would say the exact same thing as Kyungsoo did.

After, when the three of them were in an otherwise empty studio, Kyungsoo began to sing. With his head pillowed on Kyungsoo's shoulder, Sehun thinks that Kyungsoo's voice perfectly complements Jongin's movements, and that the two would create amazing pieces of art.

 

 

 

  
When Jongin opens the door to his favourite practice room, he sees Sehun already inside, earphones snug in his ears. The soles of his shoes are squeaking softly across the floor as he dances.

"Hey," Sehun says, pulling an earbud out when he spots Jongin enter. "Where've you been? Was surprised to see the room empty when I came."

"Kyungsoo brought me out for lunch," Jongin says. "Sorry, I didn't know you were waiting for me."

"That's okay," Sehun replies, waving Jongin's apology aside. "We didn't plan to practice together anyway. Just dropped by to see if you were here."

He pauses and Jongin drops his bag down by the stereo system.

"Kyungsoo hyung brought you out for lunch? You two seem to be really hitting it off," Sehun continues. "I'm glad! Watch you two become best friends in no time."

Sehun beams at Jongin through the mirror. Putting his earbud back in, Sehun returns to dancing, but Jongin doesn't join him. Instead, he stares at Sehun's back, unsaid words branding themselves onto the flat of his tongue, red hot.

_But_ you're _my best friend._

"Jongin?"

Jongin's eyes fly up to Sehun's face — the younger boy's looking at him worriedly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Jongin replies, walking over to the stereo. "Mild indigestion. Wanna practice that duet we just learned?"

Sehun tosses his music player onto his bag and nods. "Sounds good."

Jongin steps into position next to Sehun right when the music starts to play, and as Sehun fiddles with the drawstrings of his sweatpants, all Jongin can think about is the genuine smile Sehun had given him just a couple of minutes ago.

He misses the first step. Sehun pokes him in the cheek.

"Maybe you should rest until your food's digested," Sehun says, brows creasing with worry. "I don't want you to get a stomachache."

Jongin nods weakly. "Good idea."

 

 

 

  
It's just a couple of weeks into 2011 when Jongin dashes around the corner and runs smack into a wide chest.

"Yifan hyung!" Jongin splutters. His nose is throbbing. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to —"

"Don't worry about it," Yifan says. Moonkyu had introduced Jongin to Yifan over a year ago, and Jongin still isn't used to how deep his voice is.

It's when the dull throb in his nose fades does he spot the other boy hovering behind Yifan.

"Oh; Jongin, this is Zitao," Yifan continues, "he's quite new here."

"Hello," Jongin says, sticking out his hand. "Welcome! I'm Jongin."

"He doesn't speak much Korean yet," Yifan tells him. "He's from China.”

Zitao takes Jongin's hand and shakes it with a shy smile.

"I have to bring him to practice; I'll see you around?"

When Jongin remembers that he has somewhere to be, too, he resumes his mad dash down the hallway. He flings Sehun's door open and steps in to see Sehun in the middle of a conversation with Yixing and someone else.

Jongin knows Yixing through Sehun, but he's never spent much time with the other trainee. Sehun, on the other hand, does. But this is the first time Jongin's seen them together, and he's surprised at how close they seem.

"Jongin hyung!" Sehun exclaims, swinging his legs off Yixing's lap and rising to his feet. "Come in, I want you to meet someone."

Jongin gives Yixing a bow, but Sehun clucks his tongue and pulls Jongin upright.

"You know Yixing hyung doesn't really care if you bow or not," he says. "This is Luhan hyung; he's new. He's from Beijing!"

Luhan, Jongin thinks, is ridiculously good looking. He's got a face with soft features and equally soft looking skin.

"Hi," Luhan says, smiling. He's got a nice voice, too.

"Nice to meet you," Jongin says, bowing. "I'm Jongin."

"I've heard a lot about you over the past couple of hours," Luhan says, his Korean smooth apart from a few brief, hesitant pauses.

Jongin turns to Sehun curiously — his friend reddens.

"Nothing bad, don't worry," Luhan adds, eyes twinkling. Yixing laughs.

Sehun's still got a grip on Jongin's wrist, but Jongin doesn't mind.

"Are we still up for bubble tea? We don't have much time before we have vocal practice, so if you still want to get a cup, we should go now."

"Oh yes," Sehun exclaims, releasing Jongin and turning around to grab a bunch of cash. "Bubble tea! Luhan hyung! Don't you like bubble tea too? You should come with us; I'll show you this really good place. Yixing hyung has practice, so you'd be left alone when we leave."

"Ah, but won't I intrude?"

"It's fine," Sehun insists. "I don't mind at all, and Jongin is okay with anything."

At that, Jongin simply smiles, lips pressed into a line.

 

 

 

  
Jongin's busy scrutinising every detail of the video he had Sehun take of him dancing a few days ago, and Kyungsoo is lamenting over some drama series next to him when a pair of large hands clap down painfully on his shoulders.

"Guys!" Chanyeol hollers. "Meet Baekhyun! He's my best friend."

"You've known him for less than 48 hours," Kyungsoo comments, not bothering to look up from his phone. "And I've met Baekhyun."

Jongin hits pause and glances up. Baekhyun's grinning down at him.

"So you should know why we've hit it off so well," Chanyeol says to Kyungsoo. Jongin looks between Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

"Is Baekhyun debuting with us?"

"Most likely," Chanyeol nods. "Isn't it great?"

"I already feel a headache coming on," Kyungsoo mutters.

Jongin pales a little when Baekhyun's grin widens. Chanyeol glances at his new best friend and dons a matching grin.

"Oh no."

"Nice to meet you too, Kim Jongin, dance extraordinaire. Where's your best friend?"

"What?"

"He's talking about Sehun. I talk about you two sometimes," Chanyeol chimes in. Baekhyun nods.

"I think he's out with Luhan," Jongin says. "Why? And why do you talk about us?"

"I talk about every —"

"I'm just curious," Baekhyun interrupts. Then he leans forward into Jongin's personal bubble. "How do you feel about that?"

Nonplussed, Jongin leans away from Baekhyun. "What?"

"How do you feel about your best friend spending time with others?"

"I'm fine with it..?" Jongin says slowly. "I'm not Sehun's _only_ friend."

Baekhyun nods thoughtfully. Kyungsoo sighs audibly.

"Stop bothering Jongin," Kyungsoo mutters, "and spend less time with each other. Please, for everyone else's sakes."

“Don’t be jealous Kyungsoo, you know you’ll always be my favourite,” Chanyeol says seriously. After a beat, Chanyeol and Baekhyun break out into laughter before bounding away. Jongin blinks after them, mouth agape.

"The second they met, they clicked," Kyungsoo tells him, "I swear they share a soul. I've never met two people so alike."

Then, Kyungsoo lets out another loud sigh. "They're gonna kill us all. This wasn't part of my contract; I didn't sign up for this."

"That bad?" Jongin asks, amused.

"You haven't been around them for more than ten minutes, have you?"

Jongin shakes his head. Kyungsoo seems to deflate.

"That bad," Jongin concludes.

 

 

 

  
Moonkyu’s departure hits Jongin hard.

He stands in the middle of his room, ears ringing in disbelief as Moonkyu tells him that he’s leaving. That he no longer wants to be a trainee at S.M. Entertainment any longer. That he’s tired of waiting for a debut that, at this rate, might never come.

“But,” Jongin croaks out. “You promised.”

Moonkyu pulls him into a hug – Jongin thinks it’s because Moonkyu doesn’t want him to see the guilt in his eyes.

“I didn’t. _You_ promised _me_ that you wouldn’t leave. And you’re not leaving. I am.”

Something moves in the hallway, and Jongin looks up to see Sehun standing by the doorway. The boy looks sad. Is he supposed to look sad, too? All Jongin feels right now is anger, frustration, and disappointment.

“Keep your promise, Jongin. You’ll be a great star one day, I know it.”

Moonkyu pulls back and bends to pick up his duffel bag.

“Promise we’ll keep in touch?”

“I don’t break promises,” Jongin mumbles.

Moonkyu leaves with a wave, and Sehun promptly takes his place in Jongin’s room.

“Just because he’s no longer a trainee here it doesn’t mean he’s no longer your friend,” Sehun tries.

“I know,” Jongin replies. “I just always assumed we’d debut together. He took that away from me in the span of ten minutes. Or less.”

Soft fingers slide between his, and Jongin looks down in time to see Sehun squeeze his hand. The anger and frustration seeps away, down through his feet and into the floor. Jongin finally feels the sadness.

 

 

 

  
It's a Tuesday, and it’s hot on the heels of Lee Soo Man’s seminar at Stanford University when management finally tells them the details of their debut. Under the main group will be two subgroups, consisting of six members each – one to promote in Korea, and the other to venture out into China. The group’s name is not finalised yet. Names are rattled off into either subgroup.

Chanyeol yells in excitement, and sure enough, Baekhyun joins him in a heartbeat. Jongdae, one of the newest trainees in the group, has an expression that screams of disbelief, panic, and happiness all in one. Kyungsoo’s snatched up into Chanyeol’s grasp, and the poor boy’s world is rattled as Chanyeol shakes him hard.

Jongin turns to Sehun. He catches sight of shining, wet eyes.

"Sehun —"

Sehun twists his head around at the sound of Jongin's voice. A soft hiccup slips from his throat and Jongin barely has time to react before Sehun's folding himself into Jongin's chest.

"We made it," Sehun mumbles into Jongin's shirt. "We're debuting. Together. In the same group. I'm so happy we're in the same group. Jongin, _we made it_."

Across the room, Junmyeon's crying into his palms, and Yixing's staring down at Junmyeon's head as he rubs soothing circles on his back.

"Thank you," Sehun goes on to say, "for everything. If it hadn't been for you, if you didn't help me, teach me, and just be there for me in general, I would likely not even be here to celebrate with you."

"Hey," Jongin says gruffly, "it's a team effort. You've helped me a lot too, more than you know."

Sehun sniffles loudly before he pulls back. His fingers are still curled into the hem of Jongin's shirt.

"I'll buy you bubble tea as soon as we get a free day."

"I have to tell you the truth," Jongin says. "I'm not a ridiculously big fan of bubble tea, unlike you."

"I know," Sehun says. He sniffs again. "You come just for me. And about time you told me. I was dying to know how many cups of half-finished bubble tea it would take for you to surrender. I'll buy you fried chicken then."

"How did —"

"You're my best friend, Jongin. Of course I know."

Before Jongin can reply, Chanyeol's grabbing him around the knees and lifting him high into the air. The last glimpse of Sehun he sees is him heading over to Luhan and Zitao.

When Chanyeol finally stops spinning around and sets him down, Jongin accidentally stumbles into Kyungsoo's side. The vocalist gives him a tight hug, and for Kyungsoo's sake, Jongin pretends not to notice the snot bubble starting to form.

Yifan's leaning against the wall, muttering strings of English under his breath. Minseok, level-headed as ever, watches with raised eyebrows as Baekhyun and Chanyeol launch into a cheer. Zitao ambles over to Yifan's side, and the Canadian stops his muttering to ruffle Zitao's hair affectionately. Zitao grins at something Yifan says.

Luhan's dabbing at Sehun's wet cheeks. Luhan won't be in the same subgroup as them, and Jongin knows that it came as a blow to Sehun. The two had gotten close as the year passed, and Jongin knows for a fact that Sehun would've really wanted Luhan to be with him.

Luhan catches Jongin's eye, and Jongin tries not to look away from his strong gaze. When Luhan gestures subtly at Sehun, Jongin realises what Luhan's asking of him.

He hurries over, and Luhan gives Sehun's cheek a final pat before depositing boy into Jongin's lap.

"Don't be sad, Sehun-ah," Jongin mumbles. "We'll still get to promote and perform a lot together, I'm sure."

"At least I have you," Sehun sighs, dragging a tissue across his eyes. "I don't know what I'd do if you were in the other subgroup. I can't even think of what I'd do."

Jongin squeezes Sehun around the shoulders.

"Well that won't happen," he says, "so you don't have to think about it."

Sehun smiles, and his puffy eyes crinkle up in the way Jongin's come to know. And love.

 

 

 

  
For the next few months, all twelve boys undergo arduous preparations for their debut. They find themselves ushered from dance studios to recording studios, and as the main vocalists and rappers feel their throats slowly become dry and raw, the main dancers can almost taste the tears from their crying limbs. Recording six songs and learning the choreography to five of them seems like a manageable enough task – until one gets around to actually doing it.

The injuries seem like they’ve been a long time coming. But Jongin didn’t think it’d be this bad. He’s running through the choreography for History when something seizes up in his back, and the next thing he knows, he’s crashing to the floor. His knees slam painfully off the ground, but it barely matches up to the agony he’s feeling in his lower back.

They’re on a water break, and several members are outside with their choreographer. The first person to make it to Jongin’s side is Baekhyun, and the vocalist seems shaken at the sound of Jongin’s cries. Hands come to grip at his forearms, but Jongin is simply unable to muster the strength to move even an inch. The pain is burning and yet icy cold at the same time, and it terrifies him.

Somewhere in the far, far distance, a door opens and closes. Footsteps ring quickly through the muffled churning in Jongin’s ears, and soon after, he feels a familiar pair of hands attempting to hoist him into a sitting position.

“Jongin? Is it your back? Jongin – shit, Kyungsoo hyung, can you bring me my bag? There’s a medicated heat patch in the front pocket, can you get that out for me?”

Jongin slumps into Sehun’s chest, and he feels cool fingers slip underneath his shirt and press on where the pain’s emanating from.

“Is it here? Jongin?”

He musters the energy to nod, eyes screwed shut against the lights that are suddenly very, very bright.

Something cold is smoothed out along the expanse of his lower back, and the cold soon gives way to soothing heat. Sehun keeps kneading gently on the heated area, and when the pain starts to subside, Jongin cracks an eye open and finds his face buried in Sehun’s shoulder.

“What’s wrong with him?” Junmyeon asks, his voice as calm as ever.

“A few weeks ago his back started acting up,” Sehun tells him. “He told me it was just muscle soreness, but it hasn’t gone away or anything, so I started carrying around heat pads just in case. I don’t know what the problem really is. He needs to see a professional.”

“No,” Jongin blurts, lifting his head. He tries not to groan at the throbbing pain shooting down his back. “No doctors. Can’t afford to miss out on practice sessions. These heat pads are enough.”

Sehun frowns, and it takes one look into his eyes for Jongin to realise that the boy’s displeased.

“You’ve broken out in cold sweat, hyung. You’re pale. You’re not eating enough nor are you sleeping enough. You know that this will only get worse if you don’t deal with it now.”

“I’ll be fine,” Jongin promises, and manages to get to his feet without showing any ounce of discomfort on his face.

The door to the studio opens and their oblivious choreographer strolls back inside, a full bottle of water in his hands.

“Get into formation; we’re running this from the top.”

Sehun gives Jongin one last look before he kicks his bag out of the way and moves into position. Jongin presses the corners of the heat pad down and takes a deep breath.

 

 

 

  
Sehun doesn’t bring up the issue of Jongin’s back after that, but Jongin can tell that his dear friend isn’t happy with his decision to forgo a visit to the hospital. Jongin feels horrible, knowing that he’s the reason why Sehun seems to have worry lines permanently etched into the corners of his eyes these days. But debut is right around the corner – his back can wait, right?

During their album jacket shoot, Jongin takes advantage of the fact that they’ll be holed up in a relatively small space for a relatively long period of time in order to show Sehun how sorry he is.

“Sehun-ah,” Jongin mumbles, sidling up to Sehun’s side as they’re waiting to get their clothes for their individual and couple shots. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you,” Sehun replies, hand twitching. Jongin knows the boy wants to fiddle with his hair, but since the head stylist just gave her approval on his hairstyle, Sehun can’t mess it up.

Jongin looks at him dubiously.

“I’m upset,” Sehun clarifies. “Your body is upset with you, too.”

“When debut is over –”

“Do you realise how _long_ our debut promotions could last?” Sehun interrupts heatedly. “You can’t tell me that you’ll just end up using heat pads for the entirety of it. And after debut promotions end you know we’ll immediately start work for the next album. When will you find time get your back checked out?”

Jongin, completely caught off guard by the sudden flood of words, misses his chance to reply when Sehun gets his clothes and walks off into a corner in order to change. It takes him a few solid seconds to register the weight of clothes in his own hands.

His attempt to speak to Sehun again before the shoot starts is thwarted by both Jongdae’s sudden appearance and the fact that shoot actually begins not a minute later. The members are ushered into a group behind the cameras, and Kyungsoo is pulled out as the first one on the set.

It’s a small set, and the studio lights are oddly bright. The small square of carpet used as the floor of the set irks Jongin for no apparent reason. Sehun’s too far to reach, but Jongin knows this isn’t the right time anyway. He settles for watching the photographer direct Kyungsoo instead.

 

 

 

  
They’re only halfway through the shoot when it becomes startlingly clear to Sehun that they’re horribly new at this. From the way they move on set to the way they look into the camera’s lens, everything screams _rookie_. It’s to be expected, of course, and Sehun knows that only time and experience will correct that. Yet, it’s more than a little rattling. Despite coming from a giant presence in the K-pop industry, will they be eaten up alive?

His thoughts barely have any time to further unravel into a jumbled mess before the photographer's assistant is calling his name and Chanyeol's nudging him onto the set. The carpet feels oddly silky against his bare feet, and he senses the little hairs on his neck rise.

It's not a hard shoot — it requires little to no emotion. So Sehun wipes his mind clean of any intrusive thoughts and looks straight into the camera lens. It works up until he finds Jongin standing right next to him.

"What?"

"We're supposed to take a couple of shots together," Jongin tells him, intent gaze flickering to his face with every other word.

"Oh. Okay."

That's how he finds himself seated on the carpet, the entire left side of his body flush against Jongin's right. The photographer instructs him to do something, and Sehun doesn't manage to fully process the request before he's doing it. Jongin's shoulder is sturdy underneath his head, and Sehun swallows when he feels Jongin rest his cheek on the crown of his head.

"Relax your jaw, Sehun-ssi. Don't look so tense."

Sehun does as he's told.

But when he's about to lift his head and Jongin physically nudges it back onto his shoulder, his composure fractures and the photographer makes a noise of displeasure.

"What's with you two? Whatever it is, settle it quickly. Alright, get to your feet. We'll finish this segment before I have to deal with more teenage angst."

Sehun tries not to flush a flaming red as he rises to his feet. They finish their shoot with no other hiccups, largely thanks to the fact that bodily contact is no longer required. When he's done with his part, Sehun darts off the set and into the loose huddle of his members.

Luhan stops him with a hand on his elbow. "Are you two okay?"

"Fine. He's just being stubborn."

"Is he being stubborn or are you refusing to admit that you understand what he's trying to tell you?"

Sehun frowns and shakes Luhan's hand off.

“I’m not –”

“Look,” Luhan starts, “all I’m saying is that both of you could benefit from a simple apology and some time spent listening to the other person talk.”

Someone shouts for Luhan – the members of the Mandarin subgroup are due for their group shots. Sighing, Sehun grabs his next outfit and changes quickly. Jongin stops him before he can join the rest of the waiting members.

“I’ll go to the hospital,” Jongin says. “I promise.”

Sehun blinks at him. “But you said –”

“I was stubborn. I should listen to you – you’re being a good friend, and you’re not wrong. Things will only get busier from here on. I should get it checked out before it’s too late.”

Breathing seems easier now.

“Wanna come with me when I go?”

“Yeah,” Sehun answers, voice soft. “Of course. Hey, I’m sorry for being so…”

“It’s okay,” Jongin says, smiling. “I understand.”

 

 

 

  
Jongin finally manages to squeeze in time for a visit to the hospital after their teaser photos are shot. Along with a sleepy Sehun, he leaves for the hospital at the crack of dawn, face masks drawn tight across their faces in order to hide their identities – for Jongin in particular, due to his friendship with Taemin and impending debut, is already starting to draw the attention of netizens and k-pop fans. On the subway, Sehun manages to doze off while standing, head coming to rest on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin lets him sleep and tries his best to stay steady, one hand tightly gripping a handle for extra stability.

Sehun wakes up just before their stop, and Jongin holds Sehun’s hand in his when they shuffle off the train.

“Careful, don’t trip,” Jongin mumbles, tugging Sehun gently along.

“Trying not to,” Sehun replies, eyes still half-closed as they make their way towards the hospital.

They manage to get there without Sehun toppling over in his sleepy daze, and Jongin deposits Sehun onto a plastic chair before approaching a nurse.

“Be back soon,” is what Sehun manages to process before he dozes off again.

Almost half an hour later, Jongin comes back and shakes him awake.

“I’m done,” Jongin says, “we can head back now.”

“I want to get bubble tea first,” Sehun croaks, eyebrows furrowing as he rouses himself. “I’ll buy you that canned cider you really like. As a reward for finally coming to the hospital.”

“Deal,” Jongin agrees. Sehun smiles.

They get off the subway a few stops earlier and make their way through the morning rush hour crowd towards the bubble tea shop.

“So what did the doctor say?”

“The muscles in my lower back are strained,” Jongin tells him. “I have to ice them after practices and regularly use heat packs. Need to stretch more, too.”

“I’ll make sure you do all of that,” Sehun says in all seriousness, picking up his regular order – a large cup of chocolate bubble tea.

“Please do,” Jongin says, “you know me; I would probably forget.”

Outside a 7-11, Sehun pushes his drink into Jongin’s hand and gestures for him to wait. “I’ll go get your drink. Stay here, you always get distracted in 7-11s and we end up spending way too much time in them.”

Jongin blushes and holds onto Sehun’s bubble tea carefully.

Not a minute later, Sehun returns with a few cans of cider.

“Why’d you get so many?”

“You always buy them from the school store,” Sehun says, “but it’s so much cheaper from here. I got a few cans so you won’t have to spend extra buying it from school, at least for a few days.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says, lifting the bag out of Sehun’s hands and returning the cup of bubble tea to him. The cans clink together merrily as the bag sways.

Sehun swallows a mouthful of milk tea and grins. A tapioca pearl glues itself to a tooth, and Jongin bursts out laughing at the sight.


	2. Chapter 2

They've been holed up in the set for over an hour now, and Sehun thinks his legs have fallen asleep for all eternity. Jongin's filming his first teaser video today, and most of the members are on set to support him and watch the process, and perhaps pick up some pointers for their own teasers.

"Cut!" The director shouts, and Jongin tries his best not to get water everywhere when he walks off the set. He makes a beeline for the monitor, and Sehun watches as the water on the stage stills.

"One more take," the director says when the recording plays through, and Jongin nods in agreement.

Jongin gets a five-minute break, and he slumps into the seat next to Sehun with a tired groan.

"You're doing great," Sehun says, pushing a bottle into his hands. "It's going to look amazing."

"Hopefully the effects come out the way it's supposed to," Jongin replies, taking a gulp of water. "But yeah, I think it looks quite decent so far. Can't wait to see the final product."

The director calls for him then, and Sehun gives Jongin's forearm a squeeze as he stands.

"Be back soon," Jongin promises, "then we can go back to the studio and run through our teaser routine."

"Take your time," Sehun urges, and Jongin heads back to his set with a grin.

Filming for Jongin's first teaser video wraps up before Sehun knows it, and over the course of the next month, the filming for the entire series of teasers continue. Five days after the first video, Sehun heads back to the set (the same one is used for all indoor filming) for the filming of his own teaser. After getting his hair, makeup, and wardrobe done, he takes a moment to stare at the shallow pool of water he's meant to be standing in. He'll have to get wet today, just like Jongin did on his first solo shoot.

No one accompanied him today — most are busy with vocal training, and some have to squeeze in a workout or two. For a brief moment, Sehun wishes someone was here with him.

Despite not having much to do — the camera's doing most of the moving —, Sehun spends a couple of hours on set, having to dry off after every take and get his hair and makeup fixed.

It's past dusk when he's finally done, and Sehun hurries back to the company in order to squeeze in an extra hour (or more) of dance practice. Jongin isn't in the studio when he gets there, but Sehun doesn't have time to wonder where his friend is. He falls asleep the second he hits his pillow, hair still damp from his shower and soaking through the linen. He doesn't see the sticky note on his bedside table, courtesy of Jongin.

_So sorry I couldn't be there to watch your filming! Had a meeting for another teaser vid and then Chanyeol dragged me to rap practice. I'm sure you did great, you always do :)_   
_See you tomorrow at school!_

KimJong

 

 

 

  
The sweat patch on the back of his cotton shirt is spreading steadily as the minutes tick by. At some point, Sehun’s gotten over the irritating fact that Run & Gun has been playing on a loop for the past few hours. Now, he’s dealing with the fact that filming for his teaser with Jongin is tomorrow, and his performance is nowhere near where he wants it to be.

Jongin himself is off filming with Luhan, so Sehun can’t even mope with his best friend by his side. Sure, Junmyeon’s sweet enough to keep him company, but his words have begun to float meaninglessly in and out of Sehun’s ears.

“Take a break,” Junmyeon suggests for the sixteenth time in the past two hours. “Get some water.”

“Soon,” is Sehun’s reply – and has been for the past two hours.

Junmyeon sighs, stretches out his legs, and returns to humming one of their demo tracks to himself.

After four additional run-throughs of the choreography, Junmyeon clears his throat and waves his phone in the air.

“Jongin’s done. He’s on the way back.”

Groaning loudly, Sehun slumps to the ground and sprawls out across the cool floor, legs and arms askew. Jongin finds him in that exact position almost twenty minutes later, and he shoots a confused glance at Junmyeon, who replies with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Have you been here the whole day?” Jongin asks incredulously, yanking on Sehun’s arm until the boy reluctantly rises into a sitting position.

“Pretty much,” Sehun says. He grips onto Jongin’s wrists and uses them as support to stand. “And I’m still not up to par.”

“What are you talking about? Jaewon hyung said we were good to go – he watched us perform and he gave us his approval, remember?”

“ _You’re_ good to go,” Sehun mumbles, shuffling over to the stereo and hitting play. “I have a long way left to go. Practice with me.”

Junmyeon decides that this is a good time to depart, and he gives Sehun’s messy mop of hair a ruffle before exiting the studio. When the door closes, Jongin retraces Sehun’s footsteps and walks up to the stereo, too. He pauses the music.

“What are you –”

“Stop,” Jongin interrupts, grabbing Sehun’s outstretched hand and pushing down. Instead of letting him go, however, Jongin keeps a gentle hold on Sehun. “Why are you suddenly like this? This isn’t like you. You know you’re a good dancer, and you’re definitely more than good enough when it comes to this particular piece of choreography.”

“But you –”

Jongin pulls on Sehun’s hand, and the motion causes Sehun to stumble a few steps closer.

“Don’t compare yourself to me,” Jongin continues. “We’re not the same person – we’re not supposed to be the same person.”

Sehun looks balefully up at him.

“Be excited for tomorrow! We have a teaser _together_ ,” Jongin exclaims, “isn’t that great? I’m happy – I get to film something with my best friend!”

“I’m happy too,” Sehun says, “but –”

“Nuh-uh,” Jongin cuts in, “no more buts. You know the choreography, yes?”

Sehun nods.

“That’s all you need to know.”

The corner of Sehun’s mouth tilts upwards.

“I bought you bubble tea on my way back,” Jongin says. “It’s in your room. So what do you say? Done practising for the night?”

Sehun moves too fast for Jongin to react, and he finds himself in a very sticky embrace just seconds later.

“You need a shower,” Jongin says into Sehun’s shoulder. “Shower first, then bubble tea.”

 

 

 

  
“EXO,” Junmyeon repeats. “EXO. We’re called EXO.”

“You’ll be split into EXO-K and EXO-M,” their manager adds, “which stands for Korean and Mandarin respectively.”

“Exoplanets, huh? Some otherworldly thing?” Yifan mutters to himself in English, “That’s quite a concept.”

Next to him, Zitao pretends to understand and nods.

“You said something about superpowers? What’s that about?” Chanyeol looks a little too interested.

“Each of you will be assigned a power – it’ll round out the concept of twelve legendary powers coming from outer space and whatnot.”

Jongin turns to Sehun and raises an eyebrow. Sehun bites back a bark of laughter.

“EXO,” Junmyeon says again, this time in a softer tone and more to himself than to anyone else. Kyungsoo squeezes his shoulder.

Just a week later, EXO’s – and Jongin’s – first teaser is released. The date is December 21st, 2011. That night, Jongin watches as Sehun colours in the little square that reads ‘Dec 21’ on his calendar.

“Remember this day,” Sehun tells him. “It’s only the beginning, but there will be many other important dates to come.”

 

 

 

  
On March 1st, the twelve of them find themselves learning an updated version of MAMA’s choreography. Filming for History’s music video is to be in two days; they’ll have to practice the choreography to both versions for that song, too. EXO’s last teaser is uploaded to the Internet as they work to forget old moves and learn new ones as quickly as possible.

“I’m going to forget this new choreography the second I step out of this studio,” Minseok mutters during a water break. “Why can’t we learn this _after_ we film History?”

“It’s good practice for the future though,” Junmyeon says, “I’m sure we’ll have to juggle learning multiple choreographies when things start to pick up.”

Minseok pulls a face but doesn’t argue.

As night falls, the members call it a day and leave the studio one by one. The main dancers are the last ones to leave, and as usual, Sehun finds himself alone in the studio with Jongin when Yixing bids them a good night.

“You don’t have to stay with me,” Jongin says, breathing slightly laboured as he studies his own movements.

“Do I ever not?” Sehun replies, falling into step with Jongin.

They mess up (more than) a few times, but it simply takes laughter and shared words of encouragement before they start from the beginning again. It’s almost midnight when Sehun declares that it’s time for them to catch some sleep, and Jongin is more than willing to agree.

“Don’t go back to the studio the second I leave your side,” Sehun warns, a hand on the handle of his door.

“I promise,” Jongin says, and presses a palm over his heart.

Sehun rolls his eyes, smiles, and enters his room. Jongin sticks to his promise.

 

 

 

  
“History made it to #6 on Sina’s Music Chart,” Luhan announces, wonderment tinging his voice. His face is impossibly close to the computer screen as he drinks in the sight.

“#68 on Gaon singles,” Junmyeon adds. “Not bad, right? A considerable increase compared to What Is Love.”

“We can do better,” Kyungsoo says from the floor, eyes closed as he leans against Chanyeol’s legs. “We will do better.” Chanyeol peers down at the crown of Kyungsoo’s head.

Yixing, who’s busy looking at his reflection in the mirror as he runs through a few sections of MAMA’s choreography, utters a simple, “I’m sure we can.”

Sehun watches as Yixing marks the choreography. He catches Jongin’s eye when he looks away, and Jongin gives him a small smile. It eases some of the tension in his jaw that he didn’t know was there. Filming for MAMA’s music video is in a few days, and they’re all running high on a mixture of excitement and nerves. Not a single one of them is immune to the sheer weight of all the expectations placed on their shoulders.

They’re coming from S.M. Entertainment – they _have_ to make it big. Besides, it’s what everyone assumes will happen. But what if it doesn’t work out that way?

Minseok stands and turns the stereo on.

“In order to do better, we have to start somewhere.”

 

 

 

  
There’s a constant sense of urgency backstage. Staff members are rushing about, some tending to stage equipment, some tending to sound checks, and some tending to the boys themselves. Mic packs are handed out, and they’re fastened to bodies with trembling fingers.

“3000 fans?” Zitao asks, eyes wide. “Really?”

“From 8000 applicants, I heard,” Junmyeon answers. There’s a shine to his eyes.

Sehun stays flush against a wall, quiet as coordi noonas check on his makeup and outfit periodically. Jongin, along with Yixing, is a few feet away, taking advantage of an empty area of space to squeeze in a last minute practice session.

Suddenly, out in the main area of the Seoul Olympic Hall, the lights start to dim. Jongin and Yixing freeze, and Yifan looms up behind their backs before ushering them towards the wings. Their introductory clip starts to play, and a jumble of English rings in Sehun’s ears. Jongin slips up next to him.

“Good luck on stage, Sehun-ah. You better give it your all when we’re doing Run & Gun together.”

Sehun smiles, but before he can open his mouth to reply, Jongin reaches over, slips Sehun’s earpiece into his ear and reaches down to squeeze his hand. So Sehun simply gives Jongin a thumbs up and gestures for him to put his own earpiece in, too.

Someone pushes on their backs. They rush onstage. History starts to play in their ears.

The heat of 3000 pairs of eyes are on them, and they burn up the floor.

 

 

 

  
On the way back to their dorms that night, Sehun realises that he doesn’t remember much of their Seoul showcase – everything’s still such a blur. He does, however, remember the way Jongin glanced over at him when asked if he found any of their members handsome. He also remembers Jongin’s flustered laugh after Leeteuk teases Jongin for his answer.

“So,” Sehun says, voice low in order not to wake the others up. “You think I’ve gotten more handsome?”

Jongin snorts sleepily. “Don’t let that inflate your ego too much, pretty boy.”

Grinning, Sehun leans back in his seat and pillows his cheek on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin hums and Sehun dozes off with the rise and fall of Jongin’s chest lulling him to sleep.

 

 

 

  
It’s the 7th of April. There are ten minutes left to midnight.

“This is it,” Jongdae says, “we’re officially debuting.”

“It’s been… so long,” Junmyeon mumbles, sinking deeper into his chair. Jongin can only imagine how uncomfortable it must be, the plastic back of the chair pressing into his bones and muscles, but he doesn’t say anything. Junmyeon deserves a little moment to himself. It has been a long time coming for him.

“Thank you all for your hard work,” Yifan says, hands shoved in his pockets. “This is honestly a team effort.”

A hand slips into his, and Jongin can tell by the feel of the fingers between his own that it’s Sehun. Baekhyun’s somehow sandwiched between them, but Sehun manages to find Jongin’s hand anyway. Being able to hold onto each other’s hands has been a source of strength and comfort over the past few years, and they’ve come to rely heavily on the contact.

With Baekhyun standing in front of Sehun, Jongin doesn’t bother turning around to look at him. Instead, he just gives Sehun’s fingers a squeeze and checks the clock once more. 11:56 P.M.

“Bubble tea,” Luhan blurts. Sehun laughs. “I’ll buy all of you bubble tea.”

“Stores are closed, hyung,” Sehun says with a grin. Luhan pulls a face.

“Besides, not all of us like bubble tea,” Jongin points out. Sehun yanks on his hand, miffed.

“Ice cream from 7-11 then,” Luhan goes on to say, and Chanyeol lets out a cheer.

Thankful for the distraction, the twelve of them bicker over what type of ice cream they’d get from 7-11 until midnight strikes. Huddling around the computer, the twelve of them watch with bated breath as their music video plays on YouTube.

“That English bit still makes no sense to me,” Yifan admits when the video comes to an end. “But it’s still amazing. Everything is amazing.”

“Amazing,” Junmyeon repeats.

Minseok hits the repeat button.

After their fourth time watching the video from beginning to end, Junmyeon stands from his seat and herds everyone to the door.

“Get some sleep,” he orders. “Especially the M members. You have to be on a flight tomorrow, don’t forget. Make sure you’re packed! Don’t stay up and rewatch the music video over and over again although I know you want to!”

“Yes, Junma,” Zitao calls, and runs out of the room with a cackle before Junmyeon can hit him.

“So… those fake tattoos…” Sehun starts as they make their way to their rooms. Jongin winces.

“Don’t talk about them,” Jongin groans, “don’t _ever_ talk about them.”

Sehun guffaws.

 

 

 

  
Thrown headfirst into MAMA promotions, the boys quickly discover that time for relaxation and rest is now something to dream for. Naps in planes and vans become their main method of catching enough shut-eye, and extra practice for the few songs they regularly perform on stage is no longer necessary.

The first couple of months fly by with the speed of light, only punctuated with a visit to the hospital for Jongin’s back as well as a handful of birthdays.

Sehun remembers his first birthday party as EXO’s Sehun. He remembers the number of fans squeezed into the small room, remembers the solidness of Jongin’s chest against his back, remembers the sweetness of cake and strawberries, and he remembers the birthday wishes from his members that are worthy of being cherished.

He remembers the pain shooting up his arm when Jongin digs nails into his flesh, and he remembers thinking how his pain cannot compare to what Jongin must be feeling. He remembers sneaking Jongin out of the building and into a cab just so Junmyeon wouldn’t start worrying unnecessarily. He remembers waiting in the hospital, leaning against the wall of an empty corridor, eyelids heavy with the lack of sleep. He remembers Jongin coming out the examination room, pain still evident in the set of his jaw, but relief clear in the small smile he gives him.

“I’ll be okay,” Jongin had told him, and Sehun believed him.

Their first time on stage as part of the SMTown family was like a dream come true. Once their nervousness dissipated into the palpable excitement of the crowd, they embraced the night like it was the last one of their lives.

SMTown Anaheim may have been one of the most important moments for EXO as a group, but SMTown Taiwan, however, marks a pivotal moment in Sehun's own life. Of course, he wouldn't realise it until much later.

Sehun's quite sure he'll never get tired of witnessing seas of coloured lights and placards with characters of their names held up high.

Donghae breezes past him and he smiles, taking the time to wave at fans and delighting in how joy floods their faces. When he glances up and lets his eyes roam across the large stage, his delight fades somewhat. Slightly confused as to why there are knots forming down his throat, Sehun heads towards the two familiar figures that have caught his eye.

Taemin's got an arm slung comfortably across Jongin's shoulders, and their heads are bent as they converse. There's an itch somewhere inside his chest cavity, and all Sehun can think about is getting Taemin's arm off his best friend.

He's within arm's reach of pulling Jongin away when Jongin spots him and reaches out for his wrist. So Sehun finds himself with a front row seat as Jongin returns to talking with Taemin, complete with excessive touching (in Sehun's honest opinion).

He interrupts whenever Taemin's touch lingers too long, poking his head in-between theirs as he tries to steer Jongin in the other direction. But he fails twice, and it's only on the third try does he manage to separate them. The third time _is_ the charm, it seems. Relieved, Sehun ends his forced conversation with an oblivious Taemin and turns to follow a clapping Jongin. His friendly smile slides off his face the second he turns around.

Confused with his own actions, Sehun's too distracted to notice Jongin come up behind him. It's not until Jongin's hands come around his waist does he snap out of it, instinctively leaning into Jongin's touch and turning around to face him.

"What's up with you today?" Jongin asks, amused. "You seem preoccupied."

"It's nothing," Sehun says, "just... overwhelmed. With all of this. You know."

Jongin raises an eyebrow, and Sehun knows he's not exactly convincing. But he doesn't say anything else, choosing to let Jongin hold him a little longer before he pulls away.

 

 

 

  
The concert is coming to an end. Sehun finds himself with Jongin and Luhan, Jongin's hand warm on his arm. When the ending song starts to play, Sehun chooses to turn to Luhan — he's still not entirely settled with what happened with Jongin earlier on.

Luhan, as accommodating as ever, smiles at him and laces their fingers together, waving their joined hands along with the rhythm of the song. It's sweet, cute, and Sehun finds himself laughing as Luhan slyly brings him into a little dance. Jongin's left momentarily forgotten behind him — Luhan's personality is ridiculously likeable, and his cheerfulness is infectious.

When Jongin reaches out for his hand for their final bow, Luhan's smile seems to widen. But Sehun, distracted once again, doesn't notice the slight change in Luhan's demeanour nor the way Jongin's jaw is tensed in the telltale way that gives away his displeasure. Jongin grips his hand with a little extra force than usual, but Luhan still manages to whisk him away when they come out of their bow.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol rush up to them, hollering at the top of their lungs as per usual. Sehun lets them jostle him, and Luhan coddles him all the way backstage. Kyungsoo appears by his side and pinches his cheek. Jongin's nowhere to be found.

 

 

 

  
London's a whole new experience. It's also a little scary, on Jongin's part. Getting lost in the middle of the day, with their poor manager helpless next to him, is definitely not on the itinerary. And neither is fly scaring him shitless as he munches on a sandwich.

"I like how we came to London for Subway," Jongin comments, stepping a little too close to Sehun. Sehun doesn't seem to mind.

"We should make it a life goal, to eat at all the Subways across the world."

Jongin snorts and fights the urge to rest his forehead on Sehun's shoulder. Sounds like a nice plan, though.

He finds himself separated from Sehun after lunch, roaming mindlessly on the streets as his manager tries to figure out where the hell they are. Fangirls are giggling everywhere, but Jongin tunes them out.

When they finally reunite with the rest of the group, Jongin finds a paper bag thrust into his face.

"What's this?"

"Shoes," Sehun's voice comes from behind the bag. "Got them for you. You probably didn't have time to shop, considering how you got lost. And stayed lost this whole time."

Jongin takes the bag and peers inside.

"They're nice," he says, smiling. "Thanks."

"You better wear them out."

"I promise."

 

 

 

  
True to his word, Jongin wears them to the S.M.ART exhibition. He sticks his foot in Sehun's face before they step out of their dorms, and Sehun grins in reply.

"I have great fashion sense don't I," he quips, admiring the shoes.

"No, I just make them look good."

"You — wow. Give them back!" Sehun hollers, and Jongin makes a mad dash for the van.

Sehun ends up flush against his side anyway, but Jongin manages to keep his shoes on.

At the exhibition, Jongin watches as Sehun clings to Luhan and plays with Kyungsoo (in other words, annoys the poor vocalist). He stays quiet and looks down periodically at his feet.

 

 

 

  
"What do you think?" Sehun pants, straightening. BoA's Only One continues to play in the background.

"I think you're ready," Jongin declares. "Looks great."

Sehun exhales in relief and slumps down next to Jongin.

"Want me to accompany you?"

"That's okay," Sehun replies, gulping down a mouthful of water. "Luhan's coming with. Since he'll be dancing to Only One too, he wants to get a feel of things and stuff."

"Ah. Okay."

 

 

 

  
It’s unbearably hot, but Jongin comforts himself with the fact that the concert is almost over and he’ll be able to enjoy a nice, cold shower before falling face first into bed.

Someone bumps into his shoulder and Jongin turns around to see Sehun behind him, a flag in his hands and a bounce in his step. Kyungsoo appears next to him as well, and the three of them somehow squeeze their way towards the front of the stage. Kyungsoo soon gets separated from them, but Sehun spots Jongdae and he gives his hyung a playful push, to which Jongdae replies by pulling Sehun even further ahead of the crowd. Sehun barely manages to grab onto Jongin's wrist before he surges forward.

They spend a few moments waving at fans — Sehun accidentally-on-purpose waves his flag in Jongin's face and grins — until Amber ambles up to them and points at something in the crowd.

It's a small sea of 종인s, glowing brightly in purple.

Sehun leans in close. "Look up."

Jongin does, but he doesn't see what Sehun wants him to see. So Sehun leans in again and points with the tip of his flag. The second Jongin sees it, he hurries to form a heart with his hands and forearms. Sehun smiles.

Henry joins them, and they fool around for a brief period of time until Sehun feels someone hovering behind him. He turns, sees Luhan gazing at him, and promptly reaches out to pull him closer. Luhan presses close to him, and despite the stickiness of their skin, Sehun doesn’t mind the proximity. They spot a witty placard, and Luhan turns it into a game. They take turns pointing out funny signs and slogans to one another, and the game only ends when people behind them start pushing.

So they move, and Luhan drifts away from Sehun’s side. But Jongin stays, ever present.

They bump into Baekhyun, and Jongin brings the three of them into a hug, arms wound tightly around both Baekhyun and Sehun’s necks. It’s a familiar weight, and Sehun leans in, throws an arm around Baekhyun too.

 

 

 

  
For the rest of the year, their days are punctured with regular performances of MAMA (and the rest of the songs on their mini album) and the occasional SMTown show. They attend multiple events, ranging from non-music show performances to radio shows. At some point, Sehun begins to complain about how MAMA’s starting to get on his nerves and how he really wishes they can start promoting new songs. But Junmyeon just looks at him with an understanding look and shushes him.

“You know why I’m beginning to get annoyed of MAMA?” Sehun grumbles, slumping into the seat next to Jongin. Jongin looks at him curiously.

“I mean, yes, it’s mostly because we’ve performed it so many times, but it’s also because it’s so bad for your waist. How are you going to get better? If all we do is perform this damn song multiple times a day?”

Sehun’s positively seething, and Jongin doesn’t know whether to be alarmed or happy that Sehun’s thinking of his well-being, too. Perhaps he could be both.

“It’ll be over soon,” Jongin tells him, reaching out to poke him in the ribs. “And before you know it, you’ll be wishing that all we would perform is MAMA.”

“Never.” Sehun shakes his head resolutely.

 

 

 

 

They welcome the new year on the MBC Countdown stage, and Jongin can’t seem to contain his excitement as he jumps around behind Yunho’s back. The countdown to 2013 begins, and Jongin turns around to grab onto Sehun’s hands. Sehun beams at him, equally happy, and Jongin gives his fingers a squeeze.

But when he realises where he is and what he’s doing, he lets go of Sehun and turns back to face the audience. Thankfully, Sehun doesn’t seem to mind, or perhaps he understands, and they count the last few seconds of 2012 together.

Confetti rains down on them, and before Jongin knows it, he’s swept up in wishing everyone on stage a wonderful new year.

“Sehun-ah!” He calls out as they navigate their way backstage. A pink head of hair stops, and Jongin gently nudges his way over to Sehun’s side. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year to you too,” Sehun replies. There are pieces of confetti in his hair, and Jongin thinks they look like sprinkles on top of a frosted cupcake.

Then Sehun laces their fingers together, and Jongin promptly forgets about cupcakes.

 

 

 

  
January flies by in a heartbeat. But January stays clearly imprinted in Jongin’s mind all throughout February and even as March starts to fade into April.

The very obnoxious pyjama set that Sehun had gotten him for his birthday is worn almost every night to bed. He smiles whenever he catches sight of roses, and thinks back to when Sehun willingly took one out of his hands despite a very pushy Luhan trying to get Sehun to take _his_ rose too. It would be a lie to say that he doesn’t remember every detail of that moment – he especially remembers the prettiness of Sehun’s smile right before he pulls Jongin into a hug. He remembers the tough material of Sehun’s beige coat underneath his fingertips, the scent of Sehun’s hair – light, pleasant, memorable –, and the feeling of Sehun’s hand along the curve of his waist.

Now, whenever he looks at Sehun, he thinks of how perfectly the curve of Sehun’s cheek fits into the palm of his hand. He then tries not to think of how smooth Sehun’s skin was – and probably still is.

Sehun’s birthday is spent in the practice rooms as they kick up the notch in terms of gearing up for their first full-length album release. But Jongin tries to make it a nice day, complete with cake, streamers, and balloons that have ping pong balls bouncing about in them. Sehun cuts him an extra large slice of cake, and Jongin is proud knowing that this birthday of Sehun’s won’t go down as just another day of practice.

The rest of April passes by much too quickly, the month rounding off with Sehun’s shriek of **HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUHAN HYUNG!** ringing throughout the practice room when Luhan takes a step inside. It’s now halfway into May, and their comeback is anticipated by far, far too many people for their comfort.

“I like the rainbow,” Jongin says, tugging on a lock of pink. The pads of his fingers come away with particles of pink hair chalk clinging to them.

“It’s annoying,” Sehun sighs, peering at himself in a mirror. He’d gotten his hair bleached even lighter just a few days ago, and Sehun can clearly remember the pain his scalp was put through.

Tugging on the large collar of his top – what an atrocious top??? – he sighs again and turns away from the mirror.

“Are these uncomfortable?” He tugs at one of Jongin’s braids.

“Just a little tight,” Jongin says, “but it’s not too bad. I kinda like these. They’re fun to whip around.”

And just to demonstrate, Jongin swivels his head around – his braids land neatly against Sehun’s cheek.

“Rude,” Sehun tells him, but there’s no bite in this voice.

The director calls for their attention and the two hurry over to the rest of the group.

It takes close to 90 minutes before they’re able to get out of these terrible outfits and change into the nicer, less cringe-worthy white ones. Sehun gleefully tugs the soft beanie over his head, not feeling sorry at all for possibly staining the insides with rainbow barf.

“Wow, that sweater looks really nice on you,” Zitao says, footsteps light as he comes up to him. Sehun grins and fiddles with the sleeves.

“I pull anything off,” Sehun reminds him, and Zitao barks in laughter.

Sadly, the white outfits don’t stay on for long, and soon enough, Sehun’s staring at some raincoat-type top with horror.

“Are we… going to be filming with water or…?”

Baekhyun sniggers, but it promptly fades away when he fully takes in the sight of his own set of clothes. Sehun looks at him knowingly. Chanyeol, however, hums merrily as he changes, totally unaffected by how ridiculous they’d look in their comeback music video. Baekhyun shares a look with Sehun, and they reluctantly pull their tops over their heads.

Filming takes close to four hours to complete, and by the time they’re piling into their vans, most of the group’s falling asleep on their feet. Sehun manages to snag a seat by the side, and the second his head falls against the wall of the van, his eyes begin to slide shut.

He manages to grab a few minutes of sleep before he registers that Jongin’s moving uncomfortably about in his seat, shifting this way and that, and it takes him a few extra moments to understand why.

Cracking an eye open, he nudges Jongin with his knee.

“Do you need a heat pad?”

Junmyeon, still awake, turns around to look at them. Sehun spots a hint of worry in his gaze.

“You… have one?”

“Yeah, I bring one whenever we have filming or anything.”

“Could I? If it’s not too much trouble.”

Sehun digs around in his bag and gestures for Jongin to turn around when he locates it. Hiking his shirt up, Jongin leans forward and rests his head on the seat in front of him as Sehun presses the adhesive down.

“Here, yeah?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Of course. Get some sleep.”

It feels good. Soothing.

 

 

 

  
June 14, 2013 is a day of sweat and tears. Everything fell silent the second right after their first win was announced before it all came rushing back in a deafening roar. Junmyeon managed to finish his speech despite a severe bout of dry crying, whereas Baekhyun and Jongdae try their best to keep their eyes dry – part of them feels as though it’s not time for them to cry yet, for they haven’t given enough of their years to EXO to make it seem fair.

Jongin’s busy being cuddled by Taemin, and when VIXX comes up to congratulate them as well, things become a little crowded. Yifan holds his ground at one end of the line, and Kyungsoo does the same on the other end. Luhan, torn between letting a tear fall or comforting Junmyeon ends up trying to do both, and Minseok does well in subtly swiping tears off his cheeks. Sehun’s shoulders are patted repeatedly, and he bows this way and that in an attempt to thank everyone.

Their encore stage is a jumble of members jumping around and giving hugs, and they forgo actual singing in favour of shouting happily into their microphones. Yixing gives Sehun a really tight hug, and Sehun feels telltale prickling in the corner of his eyes. But no, he mustn't cry now.

The trophy is a nice weight in their hands, and there’s a collective sigh of contentment when they finally exit the building.

“Thank you guys for all your hard work,” Junmyeon says to those sharing his van, voice a little raspy. “Couldn’t have done it without all of you.”

“So mushy,” Baekhyun complains, but he makes up for it by giving Junmyeon’s hand a squeeze.

“Do you think Yifan’s telling the rest the same,” Junmyeon muses, sniffling. “Should I give him a call?”

“No,” Kyungsoo answers immediately. “That’s definitely not necessary.”

Junmyeon pouts. Chanyeol laughs and raises his hand for high five. Kyungsoo gives him a flat look but ends up slapping his palm anyway.

Their fansign at Gimpo is an equally emotional event, and Jongin is appalled with himself when he feels tears springing up in the middle of conveying his thanks to their fans. Grateful for his snapback, he turns the brim forward and tries to stabilise his voice. But of course, Sehun sees right through it, and he comes over to Jongin with soft amusement in his eyes that quickly evolves to laughter.

Sehun ends up hugging Jongin tightly around the shoulders, and Sehun keeps a hand on Jongin’s side even as Jongdae comes to comfort him too. It doesn’t take too long for Sehun’s teasing to start up, but Jongin lands a solid smack to his shoulder and goes in for a quick hug – it helps to hold back another flood of tears.

Later that night, there’s a soft knocking on the door to the room Jongin shares with Junmyeon and Jongdae.

“I’ll get it,” Jongdae says, getting up from his bed.

“Wait.” Jongin recognises the knock. “It’s Sehun. I’ll get it.”

Jongdae looks at Junmyeon, bewildered. Junmyeon shrugs, unsurprised, and goes back to staring at their trophy.

Sehun’s standing out in the dark hallway when Jongin opens the door, and although he tries to act casual and nonchalant, Jongin sees his eyes glisten.

So Jongin takes his hand and pulls him into the bathroom next door, where they sit cross-legged on the floor, as far away from the toilet bowl as possible, Sehun’s head hung low.

“You want to cry?” Jongin asks knowingly.

But Sehun’s already crying by the time he lifts his head up, and Jongin, slightly unprepared, hurries to scramble forward and pull his best friend into his arms.

“These are happy tears, right? Just to double check?”

Sehun hits him in reply, and Jongin nods, appeased. When Jongin finally deposits Sehun back into his room – Kyungsoo’s sound asleep with earphones in, and Luhan’s too engrossed in a book to notice Sehun’s entrance –, Sehun’s feeling a lot better.

“Night,” Sehun murmurs, hand on the door handle.

“Night,” Jongin replies. “Sweet dreams.”

 

 

 

  
Management, slightly unhappy with the small number of wins that Wolf manages to snatch, decides to push their repackage album out as soon as possible. Sehun is secretly happy that he can finally do without all the hair chalk.

They film both the Korean and Mandarin versions in one go, and with each take, Sehun gets progressively more worried over the state of Jongin’s back. The choreography is more than a little demanding, and with the amount of strength one needs in their torsos to execute the dance well, Sehun knows it’ll definitely cause Jongin’s injury to flare up.

Yixing gets around to checking on Jongin before Sehun does – Sehun’s too caught up in laughing with Zitao and Baekhyun over something. Jongin simply smiles at Yixing and assures him that he’s alright.

“It’s hurting, isn’t it?” Sehun states, coming up to him when Yixing leaves Jongin’s side. “You just don’t want a heat pad right now because you’re afraid it’ll show on the video.”

“Sometimes, maybe you should pretend you don’t know me as well as you do – it might save us both some stress and ease the ridiculously strong sense of responsibility we seem to have for each other. Besides, you could probably take some of the attention off of me and place it on the other members. I’m fine, Sehun.”

With that, Jongin drops the bottle of water in his hands onto a vacant chair and walks back onto the set. Sehun stares after him, a bitter taste on his tongue that even the sweetest of milk teas won’t flush away.

 

 

 

  
They don’t talk about the incident, partly due to how busy they are with Growl promotions and partly because they just don’t want to. Things fall back into normalcy, as if that day never happened, and they return to being best friends, complete with their habitual handholding and hugs. But neither forgets what Jongin said, especially when Growl comes on the radio or when they catch a glimpse of the music video on some large screen downtown.

Their first win for Growl quickly turns into their tenth win, and the number of trophies on the shelf in their dorm starts to grow rapidly. Growl is explosive, a Hallyu phenomenon, and the boys thrive on the constant buzz of adrenaline that comes when another trophy ends up on their shelf, or when the fanchants manage to worm their way past their earpieces. Like this, riding high on exhilaration and lack of sleep, they rush through the rest of August in what seems like just a few days.

The Idol Star Athletics Championships is something new for Jongin, and he’s not quite sure what to expect other than a lot of sitting around and the occasional few minutes of actual exercising. Their tracksuits are a horrible orange, but at least the other groups’ colours aren’t all that great either.

“Not hanging with Luhan?” Jongin asks, and he’s just as confused as Sehun when he hears the little snap in his tone.

“What are you saying…”

“I mean, when you were here the last time –”

“Exactly. _You_ weren’t here the last time.”

Right. Jongin opens his mouth to apologise, but Baekhyun roams closer and closer to them, so he settles for turning towards Baekhyun and reaching behind him to grab onto Sehun’s hand. But before his hand can make contact with Sehun, Sehun himself is already reaching out for him, hands pressing lightly on his sides.

Jongin, a little distracted by something happening on the track, instinctively covers Sehun’s hands with his own, tugging them off his waist and around it instead. Sehun lets him.

It’s only when the constant hubbub of fans’s cheers and screams start to increase in volume does Jongin become aware of the position the two of them are in – one a little too intimate to be seen in such a public area. And yet, instead of breaking apart, Jongin simply chooses to lift a finger to his lips. Quiet, please.

Of course, the fans ignore his request. Alright then, fine by him.

Sehun has a really nice chest to lean on, and Jongin knows this from experience. So he takes the chance, leans back a little, and locks Sehun’s fingers around his navel.

Something flits past his feet, and he bends to look at it. As he straightens, he gives Sehun’s thumb a discrete stroke, and Sehun pulls back. A hand on his shoulder informs him that Sehun’s accepted his apology.

It doesn’t mean Sehun chooses to forget.

 

 

 

  
Sehun finally brings it up when they’re on a break during filming an episode of EXO Showtime sometime in October.

“Hyung,” Sehun starts. Jongin flinches – Sehun ever only calls him hyung nowadays when he’s really serious about something. “Have you been… upset lately?”

Jongin, unsure of what to say – he’s unsure of what to _think_ –, stays silent.

“Are you upset because I’m spending more time with the other members?”

Well. Shit got serious real quick.

“What are you talking about?”

One of their managers rushes past, and Sehun waits until he’s gone before continuing.

“You’ve been hot and cold with me ever since Growl came out,” Sehun says. “Well, before that as well, I guess. I haven’t forgotten what you said to me during the music video filming.”

Frowning, Jongin takes a sip of the lukewarm coffee in his hands.

“If you’re unhappy because I’m not around you as much now, just tell me?”

“Since you know me so well,” Jongin mutters, “is telling you really necessary?”

Jongin stands and makes to leave, but Sehun’s quick reflexes stop him in his tracks.

“Yes, Jongin, because a friendship needs communication to work. If you refuse to talk to me, there’s only so much I can do. And yes, I do know you very well, sometimes even better than you know yourself, which is why I can say with certainty that yes, you are upset. You are upset that I’m close with other members too, because unlike me, you’re not one to try and forge good relations with others if there is no need. You’re content with the way things are between you and the other members, but I am not. I like being on good terms with people, I like knowing they are my friends and vice versa, and you know that. I’ve been trying over the past few months to better the bonds in this group, and I think it’s going pretty well. I don’t think I have to remind you that you have other close friends as well – Taemin, for example. And yes, I may feel a little itch inside me that I cannot soothe whenever I see you with him, but I don’t try and cut you off, do I?

“I know that you feel bad about feeling upset. You feel bad because you think I feel obligated to spend lots of time with you, and yet you _like_ the fact that I spend lots of time with you. I know that you feel as though you’re a burden to me, as though you’re weighing me down, and I know that you’re being so annoying about it all because you want to trigger me into realising that myself so that you won’t feel so guilty. But you know what, Jongin, you’re not weighing me down. I care about you because you’re my best friend, and I will always care about you because you’ll always be my best friend. And I’ll do it without asking anything from you in return. But if you don’t know me well enough to know that, then that’s on you.”

This time, Sehun is the one who stands and leaves, and Jongin isn’t quick enough to stop him.

When the cameras start rolling once more, the both of them plaster smiles and laughter on their faces, and no one knows any better.

 

 

 

  
Jongin corners Sehun in the kitchen a couple of weeks later. The clock reads 2 A.M.

“You’re right,” Jongin says, face hidden in the shadows. Sehun sets his glass of water down.

“You’re right about everything. I am upset – jealous, even – that the other members get to see sides of you that only I used to be able to see. I’m upset with myself that even though you have all these other good friends, you’re still able to care for me as well as ever, and I can’t ever seem to be as good of a friend as you are to me. You’ve done a lot for me, you know, far too much, and I don’t think you realise that. And no matter how hard I try, I feel as though I can’t reciprocate the love that I always get from you.

“So sometimes, more often than not, I find myself thinking – if the other members are able to give you what I can’t, if they’re able to balance out giving and taking, maybe you would be better off with them. But then again, I don’t want to let you go. We’ve been friends for so long, and you’re rooted in my life. You’re my home away from home.”

Wordlessly, Sehun steps into Jongin’s space and rests his chin on Jongin’s shoulder.

“I don’t think _you_ realise how much you’ve done for me. I probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. If our friendship is just me constantly giving, trust me, this conversation would not be happening at all. There wouldn’t be a friendship to talk about.”

Jongin curls an arm around Sehun’s middle.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Next time, please talk to me.”

“I promise.”

“Okay. You want some warm milk?”

“Sure. Sehun?”

“Hm?”

“You know you’re my best friend, right? You’re really important to me.”

“I do.”

“Okay.”

 

 

 

  
During Jongin’s birthday, Taemin pulls him into a corner and drops a large bomb. Jongin thinks the shrapnel ricocheted off the walls and dug into his skin.

“I’m dating Naeun.”

“I know, I’m watching the show. Well, sometimes, I’m quite busy you know, and –”

“No, I meant – _dating_ Naeun. And the show ended, Jongin.”

“What? _What?_ ”

Taemin shushes him with a finger to his lips. “No one else knows but my members and you. It’s… quite new. I’m waiting for a bit before telling management.”

“ _You’re dating?_ ”

“Why are you looking at me as if I have a dozen eyeballs hanging out of my ears? I’m totally dateable, you know.”

“Yeah, I guess, but –”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Taemin says firmly. “This is my gift to you.”

“The fuck kind of gift is this?” Jongin demands. “And you know I’ll tell Sehun regardless.”

“I know. Doesn’t apply to Sehun.”

“Good.”

When Taemin starts to walk away, Jongin calls after him.

“I want an actual present! A really good one!”

Taemin dismisses his request with a wave of his hand.

 

 

 

  
“Do you think you’ll date soon, Jongin?”

Sehun’s sprawled on his bed, and Jongin’s resigned to sitting in a corner, squished up against the wall. Sehun likes his space on beds.

“I don’t know,” Jongin says, peering at Sehun. “Can’t really predict these things, right? You?”

“I don’t know either. You like anyone?”

Jongin gazes at the back of Sehun’s closed eyelids.

“I don’t know.” _I do._


	3. Chapter 3

“You’re… blond.”

Jongin grins as Sehun tugs on his hair. “I know. Like it?”

“... Yeah. You look really good.”

“Looks like we switched hair colours.”

“And height order.”

“We do not talk about that, Oh Sehun.”

Laughing, Sehun runs his hand through Jongin’s newly bleached locks.

“No but honestly, this is a really good look on you. Brings out the warmth in your skin. It’s going to look great in the teaser pictures and music video I’m sure.”

“You sound so infatuated with Jongin’s hair you might as well take a picture of him and set it as your home screen,” Minseok says as he walks by, his own hair now a pleasant pink.

“Maybe I will,” Sehun retorts. He turns to Jongin. “We haven’t taken a picture together in a while.”

“I’ll only agree to it if you actually set it as your home screen.”

“Fine, fine.”

Later that night, curled up on his bed with Junmyeon snoring softly into his pillow, Sehun takes out a notebook and flips to the middle. He doesn’t write much anymore, too busy to think of words and to press a pen’s nib to paper. But today, he figures he can spare a few moments to think of a few words and a few movements to write them down.

 _He is beautiful_ , he writes. _He is born to be a storm and to bathe in the glow of moonlights._

There’s one thing Sehun likes about writing. It’s a form of keeping the things you love alive forever.

 

 

 

  
“I wish time would stop. So I can stay with everyone here a little longer.”

Sehun didn’t see it coming. When the members froze in place, just to grant him a fraction of his birthday wish, he blinks back the prickling in the corner of his eyes and joins them.

Too caught up with trying to hold back a smile, he fails to see Jongin look right at him.

 

 

 

  
Sometimes it takes a simple inflation of the lungs and a dilation of the pupils for someone to see something that’s always been in front of them.

A couple of weeks later, right after the filming of their new music videos, a bad fall causes Sehun to fracture his pinky and severely bruise his wrist bone. The pain is blinding, just for a split second, but Jongin’s voice is calm in his ears and there’s something about it that eases Sehun’s racing heart. He gets a splint set between his fingers and a bandage is wrapped tightly around them and his wrist. He’ll have to perform with his injury – there’s no other choice.

One night, after changing Sehun’s dressings, Jongin retreats to his room and leans against the wall. Kyungsoo looks at him, gaze questioning.

“Have you,” Jongin begins, “ever felt… something more than friendship for a friend?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo answers easily. Jongin supposes Chanyeol not being in the room helps somewhat. “Why? Is it Sehun?”

Jongin isn’t even surprised that Sehun is the first one Kyungsoo thinks of. Sehun is the first one he himself thinks of.

“Yeah. I… all I see is him.”

Kyungsoo hums. “I know.”

“What?”

“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo says, setting a thick book aside. “This has been a _long_ time coming.”

Jongin closes his eyes and goes through years and years of memories. Sehun’s in almost all of them, and there’s a flicker of heat deep in the pit of his stomach that grows, steady and warm, as Jongin races through every moment with Sehun that he can possibly remember.

It doesn’t hit him like a ton of bricks, nor does it drift down onto his palm like a feather. It’s not a realisation at all – Jongin’s always known.

“You love him,” Kyungsoo supplies helpfully.

“I love him,” Jongin agrees.

 

 

 

  
There may be millions and millions of fish in the sea, maybe even billions, but there will always be that one person who has the ability to swallow up every single one – because to you, he is the sea.

He is the sea, all the seas that exist, and every sea there will ever be.

Seasickness will never occur because you’ll want to drown in him.

 

 

 

  
Their first solo concert is just on the horizon when they find out that Yifan has filed a lawsuit against the company. Sweaty, stunned, and confused, the eleven boys piled into a practice room stay silent for a long beat until Junmyeon breaks the silence. And Junmyeon is furious.

Zitao isn’t any less angry – Minseok and Yixing try to calm him down, but there’s no stopping the flood of biting words that escape his lips. Unlike Junmyeon, who’s angry over the situations surrounding the lawsuit, Zitao can only taste betrayal on his tongue. It’s not to say the others don’t sympathise, and in fact most do, but Zitao has always looked up to Yifan in a way that he never did with anyone else. And the fact that he’s no longer here, they imagine, has to hurt.

The amalgamation of emotions in the room is stifling, but no one knows how to diffuse the thick cloud, nor does anyone dare to. Managers and choreographers are discussing changes to the concert in a corner of the room, and while most of EXO’s busy trying to suppress their emotions, Jongin’s in another corner, mindlessly running through choreography as a way of dealing.

“Hey,” Sehun mumbles, coming up to him. Jongin keeps an eye on Sehun’s lowered head through the mirror.

“You okay?”

“I never really got to spend a lot of time with him,” Sehun continues, choosing to avoid answering Jongin’s question. “You know, since he spent that long period time in Canada and all.”

“Yeah,” Jongin replies, turning around. Sehun’s still busy staring at his shoes. “Sehun.”

Sehun makes a sound of acknowledgement.

“Don’t be sad. People come and go. Remember what you said to me when Moonkyu left? Just because Yifan isn’t part of EXO anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still try and stay in touch with him.”

“That’s different. We’re no longer trainees. We answer directly to management now. There’s no trying to keep in touch with him because you and I both know we won’t be allowed to.”

His shoulders rise as he draws a breath, and Jongin waits expectantly.

“You can’t go, okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jongin promises. _I’ll be right here with you for as long as you want me to be._

 

 

 

  
It’s smack dab in the middle of June when Jongin doesn’t want to keep it bottled up any longer. But right now isn’t the time to confess to Sehun either – Jo Seho and Shin Sungwoo have just stepped into their waiting room, and there are one too many cameras trained on them. Damned Chanyeol and his part on _Roommate_.

Jongin finds himself squished between Sehun and Kyungsoo, and every little joke that comes out of Seho’s mouth seems to set him off in a fit of laughter. Jongin refuses to admit that he doesn’t actually find everything Seho says funny – it’s just his nerves that are getting the better of him. But it’s not that bad, Jongin figures. Sehun’s an easy person to induce laughter in, and it’s not long before Sehun is joining him in doubling over with laughter.

It’s not so bad, as Jongin gets to hit Sehun uncontrollably like he always does. It’s not so bad, as Jongin gets a lapful of an over-enthused Sehun.

“Why is he like that?” He hears Chanyeol say. At that, he bends over in laughter and rests a hand on Sehun’s thigh.

“He’s so…” Sehun sounds equally baffled, and Jongin feels a hand come to rest on his wrist.

It’s not so bad, Jongin muses, not so bad at all.

Right as they’re about to leave Inkigayo, Jongin drags Sehun into their recently vacated waiting room and leans against the door. Sehun blinks at him.

“Jongin?”

“Yeah, Sehun. Hi, hello. I need to tell you something.”

“Can we not talk on the way back? I mean, people are waiting for –”

“No,” Jongin cuts in. “If I wait any longer I’m going to explode.”

“... Do you need to pee?”

“ _No_ ,” Jongin groans. “I need to tell you that I really love you, that I’m ridiculously in love with you. I have been for years, and I want to be with you for many years to come. If, after this, you tell me that you feel nothing for me, nothing at all, I will accept it and leave you alone. But if you tell me that you feel even the slightest bit of _something_ for me, I will run to you. You can just stand there, and I will run across the world to you."

Sehun stares at him, their faces mere inches apart, and Jongin tries not to think about how beautiful he looks.

"Did I say too much at one go? Is that too much for you to process?” Jongin asks awkwardly.

Sehun’s still staring at him, but his lips aren’t pressed into a thin line nor are his brows furrowed. Jongin wants to assume that’s a good thing, but…

“Are you sure?”

“Am I sure? Yes, of course I’m sure. I’ve never been surer of anything else in my life.”

“You have to be sure.”

“I’m sure. Sehun, I promise you, I’m sure.”

When Sehun reaches out for Jongin’s hand, his fingers are trembling.

“You’re really sure?”

“Sehun. I _found_ love in you.”

Then, Sehun leans in and kisses Jongin, pressure feather-light. When he pulls away, his eyes are bright.

“You don't have to do all the running, Jongin — I'll meet you halfway.”

Oh, how Jongin wishes he could dig out the exquisite bunch of flowers growing happily inside his heart and present them to Sehun – for the seeds had been planted all those years ago by Sehun’s very own hands.

 

 

 

  
Two days later, Jongin wakes up to Luhan stuffing something inside his bedside drawer. Luhan winks at him and tiptoes out. Confused, Jongin turns and peers inside the drawer – sitting prettily inside is a pack of condoms and a bottle of lubricant, bound together with a red, satin bow. Attached to the neck of the bottle is a small card.

_Congrats on finally getting your hands on our favourite maknae!_   
_Please handle him with care and use protection :)_   
_You have my blessings; thank you for finally putting an end to all the moping and wondering and pondering Sehun has been piling on me over the past few years._

_With love and glee,_   
_Luhan_

_p.s. he’s been suffering from a long, bad case of blue balls (courtesy of you, I might add) – I would suggest for you to use these REAL soon!_

Jongin's face is burning, and the card is smooth and cool between his fingertips. He's not exactly new to the concept of sex — he's fooled around with a couple of people back when he was a trainee, but ever since debut, he hasn't had the time nor energy to find someone else. All he's had since debut were (highly inappropriate) images of Sehun in his mind's eye and his trusty hands. These things are always accessible, he reasons.

Now, however, it's a completely different story. He hasn't really thought about this, but when he's staring at a pack of condoms just a few inches away from his nose, he can't help but think about it.

 

 

 

  
They have the apartment all to themselves. Junmyeon's out somewhere, Baekhyun's fiddling with music software with Yixing in M's dorm, and Chanyeol himself has miraculously managed to convince Kyungsoo to spend time with him in the studios.

"Sehun?"

Sehun turns away from the television to look at Jongin.

"Do you... have you..."

"Why do you sound so nervous?" Sehun laughs, drawing his leg back off Jongin's lap. "What is it?"

"Have you ever thought about... us?"

It's an understatement to say that Sehun looks utterly puzzled.

"Yes..? All the time..?"

Jongin groans.

"Us having sex," he blurts. "Doing it."

"Oh," Sehun says slowly. He licks his lips and swallows. "Well, yes."

"You have?"

"Of course. You're insanely attractive and I have feelings for you. To say the least."

"I see."

"Why are you asking? Did you want to do it now?"

"What?" Jongin all but shouts, cheeks heating up so fast it's as though a flame was set right next to his face.

"What? It's not a ridiculous assumption," Sehun cries, looking a little unnerved. "We technically could. Right now. If you want."

Jongin stares at him. "We... could. If _you_ want."

Sehun winces into his palms.

The remote slides off the couch and onto the floor when Sehun shifts, turning his body completely towards Jongin.

"Do you want to kiss me? See where it goes? Maybe?"

Jongin draws his bottom lip through his teeth and stands. He pulls Sehun to his feet as well, and they find themselves in Jongin's room and on his bed in a matter of seconds.

"You're okay with wherever this leads?"

"I'll go anywhere with you."

Soft. It's all that Jongin feels when he kisses Sehun. It's not the first time their lips have met, but this situation is slightly different than the times before. There's a gentle tug on the swell of his bottom lip, and Jongin sighs, eyelashes fluttering, as the tip of Sehun's tongue skims his own.

Fingers bury themselves in locks of hair, and Jongin manages to manoeuvre himself up against the headboard with the pillow squashed behind his back. Sehun, kneeling with his knees on either side of Jongin's hips, cups Jongin's jaw with his hands and rises up on his knees for a better and deeper angle.

When Sehun pulls away, Jongin is left breathless.

"Did you take a kissing class somewhere?" Jongin mumbles, leaning in to nip at Sehun's lips. "You're so good at it."

"I taught that class," Sehun answers, grinning and pressing closer to Jongin. "Want me to tutor you?"

"Sure," Jongin says, pressing another kiss on Sehun's mouth. "How do I pay for that class?"

"By kissing me outside of class," Sehun replies, cradling Jongin's head as he bends down to show Jongin the extent of his kissing skills.

He doesn't flinch when warm fingers slide underneath his shirt to tease at the skin just above the band of his boxer briefs. His back arches slightly when Jongin runs his palms up his chest, wrists hooking around the collar.

"Take it off," Jongin whispers, and Sehun willingly lifts his arms. Jongin follows suit and rids himself of his own shirt too.

Sehun gazes down at Jongin through thick bangs and skims his fingers down the expanse of Jongin's chest, making sure his nails catch on perky nipples. Jongin exhales, mouth dry, and squeezes Sehun's thighs.

An experimental rock of Sehun's hips cause Jongin to choke on a gasp — the jolt up his hardening dick was totally unexpected. Sehun grins and rocks once more. Shamelessly, Jongin grabs onto Sehun's ass. Sehun pinks.

"Jeans chafe," Jongin whines. Sehun, himself clad in sweatpants, rolls his eyes.

"Get naked then," he says.

Not a minute later, Sehun finds himself on his back, legs in the air as Jongin pulls his sweatpants and underwear off in one swift move. The fact that both of them are stark naked and very much aroused hits them square in their faces, and Jongin hovers above Sehun for a beat, looking down at him.

"I want this," Sehun says. "Want you."

He scrambles upright; Jongin tries not to stare at his swaying erection.

"Touch me," Sehun continues, "so I won't be so nervous to touch you."

When Sehun spreads his legs apart, Jongin feels his heart race impossibly fast. Moving closer, Jongin leans in to give Sehun a kiss — it's more for his own benefit, if he's honest, for kissing Sehun is grounding.

Sehun's dick is hot and heavy in his hand. Jongin gives it a tentative stroke, and Sehun releases a shaky breath, fingers digging into the sheets.

The hard part is over, Jongin thinks dazedly. The _process_ of touching someone is always the hardest part.

It's as if Jongin found a whole new jar of confidence stored away in his (currently non-existent) back pocket. Moving closer, Jongin twists his wrist and runs his pal roughly up the underside of Sehun's dick. He sucks a faint bruise just below Sehun's prominent collarbone and drinks in the sounds that Sehun makes.

One, two, three.... ten, fifteen, twenty pumps later and Sehun's stomach is clenching, his nails are trembling as they dig deeper into the mattress, and Jongin's name is on the tip of his tongue as he nears his orgasm. But Jongin stops, takes his hands off Sehun, and inches back.

"What," Sehun pants, the crown of his dick red and weeping. "Why — don't stop."

Jongin gets up on his knees and leans over, his face coming close to Sehun's. He parts his lips, but instead of kissing the very frustrated dancer in front of him, he pulls open his bedside drawer and takes out the pack of condoms and the bottle of lube. Sehun whimpers, the sound pinched, and Jongin smiles.

There's a flurry of movement, and the pair finds themselves tangled up in each other's legs. But it's not uncomfortable, and the air is electric between them when Jongin uncaps the bottle of lube and spreads some out on his fingers.

Sehun fixes his eyes on Jongin's fingers as they dip between his legs and skim past his balls towards his entrance.

"Have you..."

"A couple of times," Sehun mumbles. "Been a while though."

"Yeah," Jongin says, "me too."

Sehun bites down on his lip when Jongin circles the rim with a finger and pushes in, agonisingly slow. There's a sharp sting, and it bleeds out into a dull throb.

"Deeper," Sehun says, wrapping his fingers around Jongin's wrist. He presses on the underside.

"Don't touch yourself," Jongin murmurs, pushing his finger as far in as it'll go. Sehun keens, back arching, and Jongin wonders if his words have been processed.

There're a few beads of sweat running down the sides of Sehun's face by the time Jongin's got three fingers knuckle deep inside him, and Jongin's dick is aching with the need of Sehun's heat tight around it.

"That's enough," Sehun rasps, nudging Jongin's fingers out of him with a swallowed moan. "Get on your back."

He catches sight of Jongin's face.

"You have a bad back," Sehun mutters. "Just get on your damn back."

Jongin obeys, and Sehun swipes the bottle of lube off the bed. It lands with a loud thud.

Sehun's hands are surprisingly steady when he rolls the condom down over Jongin's length. Sehun doesn't miss the tensing of Jongin's thighs when he leaves light touches on Jongin's dick and balls.

He mounts Jongin in one quick move, and Jongin's hands are firm on his hips as he guides Jongin into him. It's a snug fit, and it sends both of them into clouds of bliss.

Sehun rolls his hips, sets a steady pace, and braces himself with hands on Jongin's chest. But the (apparent) composure of it all quickly dissolves — Sehun sinks back down onto Jongin with a heavier weight, and Jongin snaps his hips up into Sehun with sharper thrusts. Soft moans escape Jongin's throat whenever Sehun rubs at his nipples erratically, and Sehun mirrors his moans as the momentum of their movements provide his dick with much-needed rocking.

As Jongin inches closer to his orgasm, he spreads Sehun's ass cheeks further apart and used all of his strength to sit up. Sehun loses his balance and tumbles back onto the bed.

"Sorry for disobeying you," Jongin grunts, tightening his grip on Sehun's hips, "but I really need to do this."

"Do it," Sehun says, hooking his legs around Jongin and pulling him closer. "I want to come."

There's a complete lack of finesse in the way Jongin fucks deep into Sehun, in the way precum slowly drips out of the slit of Sehun's dick and onto his stomach, and in the way garbled words and moans fight their way out of their throats.

Jongin manages to get his hand on Sehun's dick right before he comes, and as he milks Sehun dry, he sears the sight of Sehun orgasming into the backs of his eyes. It's such a glorious sight, but before he can come back to his senses, Sehun's pushing him back onto the pillows and slowly pulling off of Jongin.

The loss of Sehun's tightness around him is almost painful, but when he realises what Sehun's doing, Jongin promptly forgets about the loss.

Sehun yanks the condom off and gets on his elbows between Jongin's legs. He exhales, grins as he sees Jongin's dick twitch, before running the flat of his tongue up the shaft and around the head, making sure to flick back and forth over the slit a few times.

"Fuck me," Jongin groans, burying a hand in Sehun's hair. "Your mouth is amazing."

Sehun takes him in deeper and hums — the head of his dick hits the back of Sehun's throat, and Jongin tries not to thrust in any deeper.

He comes with a cry soon after Sehun starts rubbing at the rim of his hole tenderly, and Sehun looks up at him as he suctions his lips around the head and lets Jongin's cum slide down his throat.

"I don't know if I want to know where you learned that from," Jongin pants, swallowing when Sehun finally releases him from the hotness of his mouth.

Sehun doesn't reply, choosing instead to scramble onto Jongin's lap and kiss him deeply.

Later, after they're showered and are warm in bed, Jongin turns to look at the crown of Sehun's head.

"How many people have you slept with before?"

There's a moment of silence before Sehun says, "I've had two partners before you."

"Okay," Jongin says. "Do I know any of them?"

"No," Sehun says almost instantly. "What about you? How many?"

"Th – two," Jongin answers. He looks at the wall. "One girl, one guy. Back when I was still a trainee.”

Sehun doesn't ask anything else.

 

 

 

  
It’s considerably late when they return to their dorm after a day’s worth of shooting for Grazia. Kyungsoo’s curled up on the couch, remote in hands as he squints at the television – his glasses are nowhere to be found.

“Have you two eaten?” Kyungsoo asks as he flicks through the channels.

“We grabbed something along the way,” Sehun answers, and Kyungsoo voices his approval.

Baekhyun ambles in the room and spots them.

“How’d the photoshoot go?”

“Really good,” Jongin replies, stuffing his shoes alongside a pair of Chanyeol’s. “I think the spread will come out really nicely. I liked the concept a lot.”

“Got preview pictures?”

Sehun pulls up a picture on his phone and shows him.

“Nice. Very… domestic.”

Jongin turns red as Sehun beams.

“Thanks!” Sehun chirps, and drags Jongin down the hallway.

“Thanks?” Baekhyun echoes. “For what?”

Kyungsoo snorts.

After a quick shower, Jongin finds himself in a pile on Sehun’s bed, the comforter tucked around his toes. Poor Junmyeon, he needs two comforters. His big toe finds Sehun’s under the sheets and he nudges it.

“Do you think we should… tell the rest?”

Luhan’s the only one who knows so far – he manages to weasel everything out of Sehun one way or another.

“One day,” Sehun nods. “Not now though – I don’t feel like it’s the right time.”

Jongin glances down at the screen of Sehun’s phone. Pictures that Sehun had taken of the two of them throughout the photoshoot flick past his eyes, and he catches sight of a few images that would definitely not make it into the magazine. In one of them, he’s got his face buried in the crook of Sehun’s neck, and if he looks hard enough, he can just make out the fact that his lips are flush against the curve of Sehun’s collarbone.

“Send me those,” he says, patting Sehun’s knee.

“Don’t accidentally post these everywhere,” Sehun says, opening Kakao Talk. “You know you’re not very technologically savvy.”

Jongin lands a kick right on Sehun’s shin.

 

 

 

  
But as it turns out, they really didn’t have to worry about figuring out a good time to tell their members (aside from a knowing Luhan, of course) – Junmyeon figures it out during SMTown Tokyo. The difficulty of hiding a romantic relationship really depends on the individuals involved, and neither Sehun nor Jongin are quite adept at doing so.

Jongin loves being affectionate to people he loves, and similarly, Sehun loves to reciprocate such affections given from people he loves. So whenever Sehun spots Jongin a few feet in front of him, arm held out as a silent invitation for him to slide under it and press close to Jongin’s side, Sehun will take it.

Junmyeon, so finely tuned to the mannerisms of his members – especially Sehun and Jongin, having been with them for close to a decade –, pieces it together easily.

He finds them backstage, fingers laced together and Sehun standing right in Jongin’s personal space. They’re cute, he thinks. They’re good for each other.

He calls out their names as he walks up to them, not missing how Sehun takes a step back from Jongin and subtly wriggles his fingers free. “When were you two planning on telling me?”

The two of them blink blankly at him for a few seconds before they realise what he’s referring to.

“Oh,” Sehun utters. “Um, we were –”

“Soon,” Jongin interrupts. There’s really no point in trying to evade the question. “We just didn’t know how to tell you, exactly.”

“This isn’t an easy thing to talk about,” Sehun adds. “We didn’t know how you’d react…”

“You know you can tell me anything, right? I’m more than your leader – I’m your friend. You can always come and talk to me. And besides, you two aren’t the only ones.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Junmyeon smiles enigmatically and pats Jongin’s shoulder. “Take care of each other, okay? And please note that when I say you can come and talk to me about anything, I don’t mean extremely private stuff that should only involve the two of you.”

As they’re left spluttering after Junmyeon’s retreating back, Luhan appears and pinches Sehun’s cheek before turning to face Jongin.

“Take care of Sehun for me, okay?” He says seriously. “I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really happy the two of you have finally admitted your feelings and all; it makes leaving a lot less stressful. Now I don’t have to worry about you two babies while I’m miles and miles away.”

“You could just… not leave,” Sehun mumbles. Sensing the drop in his mood, Jongin circles his fingers around Sehun’s wrist and squeezes ever-so-lightly.

“We’ve talked about this,” Luhan reminds him sadly. “I’ll still be here with you in spirit, you know that, right?”

“It’s different,” Sehun replies, looking resolutely at the dirty floor. There’s a trampled backstage pass off in the corner.

“I know it is; but I have to think of what’s best for me too, don’t you agree?”

Sehun doesn’t answer, and Luhan runs his hand up and down Sehun’s back.

“Take care of him,” he repeats, squeezing Jongin’s hand. Jongin nods firmly.

“I promise I will,” Jongin says.

Luhan smiles and gives the two of them a long hug. When he pulls away, he wipes at Sehun’s damp cheeks and leaves them be.

“At least with him,” Sehun says, swiping roughly at his eyes, “I had a chance to say goodbye.”

 

 

 

  
Luhan’s lawsuit is made public less than a week later. Sehun scrolls through a news article regarding the lawsuit and sighs, painfully aware of the weight in his heart. He closes the browser window and leans against the back of his chair.

Eyes throbbing with the lack of sleep and the multitude of tears, Sehun fiddles with the Cartier bracelet around his wrist. He thinks of how he’d waited for Luhan to pull on his shoes at their dorm a couple of nights before, thinks of how he himself had helped Luhan pack away the important things. Luhan had asked for a picture, and Sehun had stared at him for a long time before agreeing. He remembers how the hallway had been crowded with the rest of the members – Zitao was sniffing furiously, Yixing was much too bright and cheerful for their comfort, and Minseok simply looked lost.

“I’ll miss all of you,” Luhan had said, one foot out of the door. “Take care of yourselves, okay? Try not to work too hard – it’s okay not to listen to management sometimes. _Do_ listen to Junmyeon hyung, however, okay? I might not be able to communicate with you guys for a while, but I’ll always support EXO, okay?”

Sehun still remembers how hard he’d chewed at his lips then – a shallow cut is still present on his bottom lip. “Stop saying okay, hyung. It’s not okay.”

The last person Luhan had hugged was him, and the words _don’t go_ seem to lodge themselves in his throat. Pressure built up behind his ears, his eyes, his lungs.

“I’ll see you again someday,” Luhan had promised. “I’ll buy you bubble tea then, _okay?_ ”

Unable to speak, too afraid that he’d lose it, Sehun had settled for being the one to close the door behind Luhan. Jongin’s hand was warm and solid in his. Grounding, but just barely.

 

 

 

  
“Did you see this picture of you smiling at me like I’m your world?” Sehun teases, sliding his phone over to Jongin as they squeeze in a lunch break. It’s cold out, but they’re sweating buckets in the practice rooms – Minseok’s already changing into his third shirt.

Jongin glances at the screen and playfully rolls his eyes. It’s a picture of them during the MAMA awards just a few days ago, and indeed, he is looking at Sehun like he’s a walking miracle.

“You’re not wrong,” Jongin comments, picking up the phone and fiddling with it. “You are my world.”

He gives the phone back to Sehun – the picture’s set to his home screen.

“I love you,” Sehun tells him, pocketing his phone. It’s the first time he’s said it since they confessed to each other, and Jongin tries to pretend he isn’t affected by it whatsoever. But when he turns to look at Sehun, he finds himself gazing into a pair of earnest eyes, and his composure melts.

“I love you too,” Jongin mumbles, inching closer just so he can drop a kiss on Sehun’s shoulder. He presses his fingertips to the inside of Sehun’s wrist, against paper thin skin.

He hears Sehun exhale. He feels Sehun’s heart beat a little faster.

 

 

 

  
It’s New Year’s Eve. They’re in Hunan, and Lucky is playing through the speakers in the venue and through their earpieces. Sehun looks over at Jongin, and he breaks into such a beautiful smile that Jongin wants to stop singing and waving just so he can kiss his boyfriend for a solid ten minutes. But alas, he'll never be able to do that, so he settles for returning Sehun's smile and giving his waist a subtle squeeze.

Midnight’s just around the corner when they finally pile into their vans with comfortable clothing on their backs.

“I’ll fall asleep in seconds,” Jongin mumbles, trying to find a comfortable position before settling for scooting down in his seat and resting his head on Sehun’s shoulder. “So I will wish you a Happy New Year in advance.”

Picking Sehun’s hand up, he gives his knuckles a kiss and promptly closes his eyes.

“Goodness,” Baekhyun mock laments behind them. Junmyeon hits him on the thigh.

“Happy New Year to you too,” Sehun answers, lacing their fingers together. “Sweet dreams.”

 

 

 

  
Jongin isn’t quite sure if he should feel happy or nervous over the fact that he’ll be performing shared stages with Sehun for their second Asia tour. As if dancing with Sehun in a group isn’t already distracting enough, management decides to pair the two of them up for not one, but two routines. Jongin has an inkling that Chanyeol and Baekhyun have a considerably large role in this setup.

Unlike Jongin, however, Sehun is simply excited.

“We’ll have the stage to ourselves,” Sehun exclaims, eyes shining. “Isn’t that amazing?”

It is, Jongin has to admit. He loves performing with Sehun. But Sehun’s always been the better one at compartmentalising, and Jongin isn’t sure how he’ll be able to handle a drenched Sehun in a see-through, white shirt just feet away from him. He’s also not confident in his abilities when it comes to keeping his hands off Sehun during the Playboy routine – there’re a lot of hip isolations and gyrations, and despite how he’s arguably the best in the group when it comes to hip movements, Sehun is exceptional competition.

Even practising for the show is stressful, made worse by the fact that Sehun is blissfully oblivious to the hell he’s wrecking on his poor boyfriend.

“You look like you stepped on ten dozen nails,” Minseok laughs one day. They’ve been running through Playboy for the past two hours, and Jongin is miserable. He doesn’t even try to argue with Minseok’s observation; he chooses instead to slump against the mirrors and gaze at Sehun across the room, where the dancer’s busy helping Jongdae out with a few counts.

Sehun had opted for a fitting tank, equally fitting jeans, and a snapback (Jongin’s) for the day’s practice. At least the boy isn’t in a beanie, Jongin thinks glumly. He’s too busy staring at Sehun’s broad back to notice Yixing coming up to him with an amused look on his face.

“You’re going to burn holes into poor Sehun’s back if you keep staring at him like this,” Yixing grins. “I have news that may put out some of your misery if you’re sane enough to digest it.”

“Give it to me.”

“We’ll be rotating partners for Playboy. Not for every other show, but close enough. You’ll be dancing alone for some, and when that happens, I’ll be Sehun’s partner.”

“So… I won’t have to suffer every single day of this tour?” Jongin sounds a little too delighted at the news.

“Correct,” Yixing replies. Minseok snickers. “Just don’t hurt me if I give the fans a little fan-service with Sehun now and then.”

“No problem,” Jongin declares. “Some sanity is all I want.”

 

 

 

  
It’s just moments after Sehun gets injured on the fourth day of their second tour does Jongin realise what he really wants. He doesn’t see Sehun go down, hands cradling his head, but he notices Sehun’s absence. When it dawns on him that Sehun’s gone because he’s been injured, all Jongin wants to do is bolt from the stage to see if Sehun is alright, to see how bad the injury is, and to see how guilty Sehun feels over having injured himself just days into the tour. But Junmyeon manages to convince him to stay put with a firm, yet calming gaze trained on his face, and Jongin resigns himself to waiting until Sehun either reappears, or until the concert ends.

Getting injured during a concert is terrifying. Jongin knows. The bruises he’d sustained from his rough fall just a few days ago have only just started to heal, and the aches in his limbs haven’t faded at all. But he’s used to pain firing up in his body; he isn’t used to pain in Sehun’s body.

Sehun returns for their ending moment, and Jongin wants to shout along with their fans.

“I wanted to come back up on stage,” Sehun says. He’s got a snapback pulled low over his eyes. “My injury isn’t major, it’s really not too bad. It hurts a little, but I’m alright.”

Jongin doesn’t take his eyes off him.

“In regards to the concert… I’m sorry,” Sehun continues. There it is, the guilt that Jongin knows will surely manifest. “All of you came to watch us and I was supposed to show you the handsome side of me.”

Waves and waves of _it’s okay!_ reverberates through the arena, and Jongin waits with bated breath. When Sehun freezes, the microphone so close to his lips, Jongin feels his heart drop.

 _Don’t cry_ , he prays. He says the two words over and over again in his head, but he knows it’s futile. Sure enough, Sehun’s head hangs, and his hand falls to his side.

The other members around him react almost instantly. Chanyeol prompts the fans into a chant of don’t cry! as Kyungsoo and Baekhyun try to comfort him with soft touches. Jongin, unable to comfort Sehun in the way he really wants to, settles for cupping Sehun’s chin just the way he likes it.

But Sehun shies away at his touch, and Jongin is reminded of the time Sehun admitted that he doesn’t like it when Jongin sees him cry.

Junmyeon begins to speak, but all Jongin hears is the rush of blood in his ears. With each glimpse of Sehun’s profile, Jongin wishes he has enough strength for the both of them. That way, maybe Sehun won’t have to try as hard to be strong all the time.

A minute or two drag by, and when Sehun attempts to crack a joke to lighten the mood, Jongin steps forward again. Leaning close, he whispers a quick, “We are all here for you.”

Junmyeon discreetly separates them, but Jongin leans in again.

“And I love you.”

 

 

 

  
The tables turn soon after.

The second tears started to roll down Jongin’s face, Sehun could sense that something was wrong. Glancing over, Sehun takes in the way Jongin’s holding himself and guesses that pain from his recent injuries is acting up again. He’d refused to take painkillers before the show started, and despite Jongin being one of the strongest – and most headstrong – people he knows, Sehun is aware that even Jongin cannot go on forever on willpower.

But it’s not just the pain that’s getting to him. Of that, Sehun is positive. Midway through the concert, as they changed into a new set of clothes, Jongin had mumbled something along the lines of a mediocre performance, of not being able to give the fans and the rest of EXO his best.

Sehun looks away – when one half of a whole is weak, the other half needs to be that much stronger. Jongin ends up crying through the whole song.

Sometimes, Sehun hates being near the end of the line. It gives him mere moments to formulate words in his mind, and it’s even harder this time around when Jongin seems so vulnerable a few feet away from him. But he manages to laugh and keep his voice bright through his short speech, and he lowers his mic with a sense of relief.

The first thing Jongin chooses to talk about is Jaewon. Somewhat unexpected, but nothing Jongin says is ever irrelevant.

“Along with Jaewon hyung, we’ve prepared for this concert for about a month. But as a result of my injuries, on the very first day, I was already afraid that I wouldn’t be able to finish strong with the rest of my members. I was discouraged, but I managed to push through towards the end alongside everyone, and for that, I am very thankful. I will work harder to give you a better performance in the future.”

His voice breaks and Sehun wants the arm across Jongin’s shoulders to be his instead of Zitao’s. Wants it so badly.

“Thank you for always loving us.”

Zitao’s voice fills the arena, but Sehun can only hear Jongin.

 

 

 

  
There’s a bag of honey butter chips by his feet, and Sehun bends to pick it up. Jongin likes them, and Sehun hopes the sight of the chips and the ridiculously large lollipop in his hands will cheer him up somewhat.

As he heads back to the main stage, Sehun spots Jongin heading in the same direction. So he makes a slight detour, just to be able to hold Jongin for a little while under the loving light of the silver sea.

The way Jongin rests his weight a little too heavily on him as they climb up the stairs is a little worrying, but Sehun tries not to think about that right now. When Jongin walks a little too far away, Sehun tugs him back to his side – Jongin curls into him and pillows his head on Sehun’s shoulder. It’s a brief moment of peace for the both of them, and Jongin is the first one to pull away.

The boys rush through their ending speeches, and Sehun has never been so thankful to hear words of goodbye.

“I’m sorry for disappointing all of you,” Jongin says once everyone’s in one room. His voice is so rough it’s grating. “I have a responsibility to everyone here and to the fans to be the best Kai I can be, and I didn’t –”

“Stop it,” Sehun interrupts, dropping the things in his hand onto an already cluttered table. Multiple pairs of eyes turn to look at him, including Jongin’s bloodshot ones. He elbows his way through the crowd and grabs Jongin’s wrist. “Come.”

He swipes a pack of painkillers and a bottle of water off a vanity table as he pulls Jongin towards the door. Pausing, he turns and gestures at the chips. “No one touch those.”

Jongin finds himself seated on the closed lid of a toilet bowl with Sehun squatting between his legs.

“Take these,” Sehun says, pressing two pills into Jongin’s hand. “Please.”

Jongin swallows the pills with a mouthful of water.

“You’re a sea, Jongin. A vast ocean, even. No matter how choppy and loud your waters get, you will ultimately return to that moment of peace, where you’re a calm blue and life thrums within you. I would know, because I call this ocean my home. You’re my home. Everyone’s a fish in the depths of your waters, Jongin. We would be stranded without you. You hold us together, but we don’t take you for granted. We know it’s not possible for you to be at your best every single day. We’re just happy you’re here. I’m happy you’re here. A fish wouldn’t be able to breathe out of water at all.”

Jongin stares at Sehun for a long time.

Then, clearing his throat, he says, “I saw honey butter chips?”

He smiles at the relief in Sehun’s eyes, feels the dried tear tracks down his face crack, and leans in for a kiss.

 

 

 

  
Airports are nowhere near the top of Jongin's Favourite Places to Be list. The sheer number of people is always overwhelming, and Jongin never does well with random hands belonging to unknown individuals trying to reach out for him. Walking with heavy camera lenses pushed right up to his face is more than a little disconcerting, and he hates the feeling of wanting to run away but not being able to. Sehun doesn't mind airports as much — he does a great job at blocking out things he doesn't like — but he's not a big fan of all the screeching and shoving either. If Jongin could, he'd surround himself with his members as they make their way through airports, but that's a little out of the question.

Today, they're heading to Jeju, and it's a little chilly out. Tugging at his sweater sleeves, Jongin leans closer to Sehun and attempts to catch a few snippets of the song he's listening to. Their manager slips his plane ticket into his hand.

The line inches forward, and Sehun lifts his phone up. Jongin glances down, sees the camera app on the screen of Sehun's phone, and tries not to smile. Sehun's had the hobby of taking selfies of the both of them ever since debut, as a way of documenting their journey together.

Sehun glances at him and his lips quirk. He doesn't actually think they'll be able to take a picture right now, but at least Jongin knows he wants one today.

They're ushered forward a few steps, and Jongin slides an arm around Sehun's waist out of habit. But he catches himself almost immediately, and as he releases his hold on his boyfriend, he sighs imperceptibly.

In the plane, Sehun turns to him and says regretfully, “I’m sorry too.”

 

 

 

  
Japan’s great, Sehun thinks. He feels less… scrutinised when he’s in Japan, and he doesn’t have to think over every single thing he does a dozen times. The environment’s much calmer, less frenzied, and it feels as though he can take a deep breath in the middle of a sea of fans and not choke.

Cheers explode all around him, and it takes Sehun a brief moment to remember where he is and what he’s in the middle of doing. Chanyeol bounds up to him like an overgrown puppy, excitement clearly painted across his face. He sweeps Sehun up in victory, and Sehun assumes they’ve won a challenge. He grins and joins Chanyeol in celebrating.

When he spots Jongin making a beeline for him, delight flooding the deep brown of his irises, Sehun feels his smile widen. Jongin runs right into his arms, and Sehun tightens his arm around Jongin’s shoulder at the same time Jongin holds him around his middle.

Jongin’s hair nearly flops right into his face as a result from all the jumping around, but Sehun doesn’t mind at all. He loves an excited Jongin – his joy is so infectious. It comes as a complete surprise when Jongin attempts to pick him up bridal style, but all Sehun does is laugh incredulously at the look on Jongin’s face. Jongin fails at his attempt, of course, for Sehun is simply too tall for him, but Sehun thinks the moment is perfect. Jongin’s laughter is perfect, the pink dusted across his cheeks is perfect, and the hands making sure he doesn’t fall over are perfect.

Later, Sehun pretends he doesn’t notice Jongin giving him a light kiss on the shoulder.

But much later, in the van on the way back to their hotel, he returns the kiss.

“I know I’m too tall for you to carry, but am I too tall for you to reach my cheek too?” Sehun teases. “Should I bend my knees a little next time?”

“I’m only a couple of centimetres shorter than you,” Jongin retorts. “I can manage, thank you very much.”

“Don’t you wish Sehun was half a head shorter than you, Jongin-ah?” Chanyeol asks, slinging an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders and grinning down at the singer. “Being the tall one is always easier, I think. Right, Sehun?”

Kyungsoo lets out a low growl and pummels Chanyeol on the thigh.

For the next few days, Chanyeol walks around sporting a large bruise underneath his jeans. Kyungsoo doesn’t hold back from reminding Chanyeol about its presence.

 

 

 

  
As if it isn’t bad enough that Zitao’s leaving South Korea for Los Angeles, he also chooses to leave behind a mountain of unanswered questions along with the confusion festering in the rest of the members.

“Why are you going?” Junmyeon asks, a hand buried in his hair. Sehun can see the whitening of his knuckles from how hard he’s gripping at the strands.

“Treatment for my foot,” Zitao answers, pushing his suitcase towards the door.

He pauses by the shoe cabinet, where Baekhyun’s leaning against with a stiff look on his face, and sighs.

“Look, it’s just for a while. I’ll be back, okay?”

“Will you?” Baekhyun responds, voice flat. “Doesn’t seem like it. Your stuff’s all cleared out. How’d you manage to do that on a bad leg anyway?”

“Stop it,” Junmyeon interrupts, grabbing Baekhyun by the arm and pulling him aside. Baekhyun shuts up and turns away.

Zitao pulls on his shoes in silence. Yixing’s the first one to step up and give him a hug.

“I’ll see you soon,” Yixing says, but the doubt present in his voice is palpable in the air around them.

The hugs following Yixing’s are half-hearted, but Zitao tries to make the best of the situation.

“Eat enough beef for the both of us,” Zitao tells Baekhyun, voice earnest, but the latter simply closes his eyes and pulls back from the embrace.

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me as a leader, especially after Yifan left. You’re a really admirable person,” Zitao says. Junmyeon nods.

“Thanks,” is Junmyeon’s reply. Zitao bows.

Sehun, numb, chooses to stand far away from everything. The surface of the wall is cool beneath his forehead, and Chanyeol proves to be a great barrier between him and who Sehun thought was one of his closest friends. Jongin keeps glancing back at him worriedly, but Sehun refuses to meet his eyes.

But hiding isn’t a solution to anything, and before long, Sehun finds himself staring at the tops of Zitao’s shoes.

“I’m sorry,” is the first thing Zitao says to him.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Sehun begins, straightening. “Me believing all your promises or you believing your own lies.”

Zitao doesn’t answer, and Sehun knows he’s gone a bit too far, but what’s said is said. The both of them know that. Zitao inclines his head, almost as if he’s agreeing with Sehun’s words.

“You’ve been a lot of firsts for me, you know. My first partner in crime, my first Korean friend, my first drunk rap buddy. My first… well, everything in the bedroom. My first cigarette. My…”

Zitao continues talking after that, but Sehun doesn’t hear anything else. Blood is rushing past his ears and eyes at an alarming pace, and he doesn’t dare to look at anyone else but Zitao. He can tell that most, if not all of the rest of the members have processed what Zitao’s just said.

“Please stop talking,” Sehun manages to croak. “If you plan to leave, just leave.”

The door opens and closes to complete silence.

Then, Jongin’s rough voice punctures the void.

“ _What did he say?_ ”


	4. Chapter 4

“You didn’t think that was something you should’ve _told me?_ ”

It seems as though Jongin’s skipped being upset and went straight to being downright furious. Junmyeon senses a storm on the horizon, and like the great leader he is, he ushers everyone else into their respective rooms. Yixing accidentally bumps into Jongin on his way, and he bolts at the sight of Jongin’s fingers automatically curling up into fists. Junmyeon’s the last to go, and despite looking like he desperately wants to say something, he doesn’t.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Sehun answers, keeping his voice level. “I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

“So you thought you’d lie to me?”

“I didn’t want to _lie_ to you! I never meant for it to turn out this way and hurt you!”

“Who’s the other person?”

“What?”

“You had two partners before me. Well, that’s what you told me. Who’s the other person? Or did you lie about that fact, too?”

Sehun stands his ground, but Jongin notices the slight curve to Sehun’s back as he curls into himself – he’s nervous.

“Luhan,” Sehun answers, gaze unwavering. Something in Jongin, on the other hand, wavers.

“You slept with both Zitao and Luhan,” Jongin says, as if uttering the names again and again will aid in helping him digest that particularly large bit of information. “Were you ever going to tell me that you slept with Zitao _and_ Luhan?”

“Yes. I just… needed time.”

“Did you sleep with them at the same time?” Jongin spits, feeling his nails carving deep into his palm. “Bet the three of you had fun during that year you roomed together. Things must’ve never gotten boring. Can’t believe we were in the same house and I never knew of your adventures.”

“You have no right to talk to me like that,” Sehun says quietly. “You have _zero_ right to mock me for who I slept with, how many people I’ve slept with, and why I slept with them. We weren’t together back then. I never had anything with either of them that went past a physical relationship. They helped me in ways they could, and despite what you might think of me for saying this, I am thankful for that.”

“Even though we weren’t together, you still kept the fact that you were sleeping with _two of our group members_ from –”

“What would I have said to you!” Sehun shouts. “Hi Jongin, my best friend and the person I’ve been madly in love with for years! Just to let you know, since I tell you pretty much everything, that despite having insane feelings for you, I have been sleeping with two of our group members _because I didn’t have the guts to tell you how I felt?_ That although I felt horribly bad for using them for sexual pleasure, I had no other choice because I had to look at you every day and know that I couldn’t touch _you?_ Dunno, I thought maybe you’d find that bit of information _interesting?!_ ”

Jongin is silent for a while before he opens his mouth and says, “I asked you, Sehun. After we started dating. I asked if you’d slept with anyone I knew.”

“I didn’t want to ruin that moment,” Sehun mutters, pushing his hair back in frustration. “I know you think you would’ve been able to stomach that information back then, but no, you’re mistaken. That wasn’t the time nor place for it. So I didn’t tell you.”

“I need to be alone for a bit,” Jongin sighs, turning and making his way into the kitchen.

“You lied, too.”

He stops in his tracks.

“You lied to me too, Jongin. You didn’t have two previous partners. You had three. And the third one, the one you had chosen not to include, was Taemin.”

Jongin can feel the world crashing around his feet. He’s afraid of moving, afraid that he’d step in the shards scattered everywhere across the floor.

“Did you think I’d never find out, Jongin? I’ve known for so long. Kibum hyung isn’t great at keeping his mouth shut when drunk, you see. And Donghae hyung is quite protective of me.”

Jongin finally turns around. There’s a gloss to Sehun’s eyes, and it sends one of the shards by his feet ramming straight into his heart.

“But do you know why I never mentioned it to you? Because I know why you lied to me. So you wouldn’t hurt me. Am I right?”

“Yes,” Jongin replies. His throat burns.

“Right. I’ve already spoken to Taemin about it. He insists your relationship with him never went past being physical, either. And that was that. I believed him, and I believed you would never intentionally hurt me. So I let the lie stay as it is.”

A tear slips down Sehun’s cheek, and that’s when Jongin realises he’s got tears clinging to his own eyelashes.

“You lie to people you love, Jongin, because you love them. And they’re supposed to love you back anyway.”

 

 

 

  
Jongin doesn’t approach Sehun for the next few days, and Sehun keeps his distance. The tension ripples through the rest of the group, and more often than not, the other members aren’t able to stay in the same room with the two of them for more than half an hour at one go.

It’s taking a toll on everyone, to some degree or another.

“It’s almost inevitable,” Kyungsoo says, walking out of the shadows and into the kitchen. It’s way past midnight, and everyone’s gone to bed. Jongin sits by the table – has been for the past hour or so –, nursing a glass of warm milk. He doesn’t even like warm milk; Sehun does.

“What is,” Jongin asks, lifting the glass to his lips. He can’t taste the milk.

“Sleeping with someone everyone else knows. Sleeping with someone you work with. We live a… lonely life, as idols. Isolated. We don’t have the fortune of meeting people the way others would. Physical pleasure and satisfaction is part of life for most of us, so we keep a lookout for solutions to that problem. But it’s important to remember that physical pleasure is not necessarily linked with emotional pleasure and satisfaction, and it really doesn’t have to be. It just turns out that way a good part of the time. Sehun found a way to deal with his physical needs, and so did you. So did I, and so did everyone else in EXO. You lied to him to protect him, and he did the exact same thing. If you want to be angry at him, be angry at yourself, too. Tell yourself you did the wrong thing. But did you? Do you regret lying to him?”

Jongin drains the glass of milk. Kyungsoo takes a seat across the table. Jongin doesn’t supply Kyungsoo with an answer, but he doesn’t have to – Kyungsoo knows what he’s thinking.

“You’re lucky, Jongin. You get to be with the person you love. You get to love him and have him love you back. Being able to make him happy makes you happy, doesn’t it? Being able to protect him makes you happy, doesn’t it? So if lying to you for your happiness and for your protection makes him happy, shouldn’t you _be_ happy?”

Kyungsoo stands.

“I love someone dearly,” he says, “but I’m afraid I can never tell him how I feel, for I don’t believe I am someone he should be with. You already have the person you should be with. Save your arguments for when you really need them.”

 

 

 

  
The next day, Jongin wakes up missing Sehun's everything. He makes his way to the bathroom, washes up, and walks into the kitchen. Kyungsoo glances up from his breakfast the second he enters, and Jongin gives him a thankful smile. Sehun's back is to him, oblivious to his entrance — Jongin knows it takes a while for him to completely rise up out of the depths of sleep.

He pads up to Sehun, reaches around him to gently pluck the spoon out of his hand, and strokes his cheek.

"Good morning," he murmurs, and drops a kiss on the crown of Sehun's head.

He feels Sehun tense up, and everyone in the kitchen is blatantly staring at the two of them. Jongin tries to keep his breathing even.

Then, Sehun takes a breath and promptly bursts into tears. He manages to push his cereal bowl away before he rests his forehead on the table, and his shoulders start shaking uncontrollably.

Somehow, Jongin manages to pull Sehun's chair away from the table without the dancer toppling right off it. He pulls Sehun into his arms and presses his lips against the shell of his ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Sehun pulls back and shoves Jongin in the chest.

"You're an _asshole_ ," Sehun hiccups, "you should be sorry. You should be very sorry. Very —"

He pauses, swallows, opens his mouth again. "I'm sorry too."

Jongdae shouts in delight and chucks a banana peel into the bin with the air of a professional basketball player who'd just scored a slam dunk.

"WE HAVE BEEN SAVED," he yells. "NO MORE HEADACHES!"

"We're both at fault," Sehun continues. Behind him, Kyungsoo delivers a well-aimed kick at Jongdae's shin and effectively shuts him up. "But I think —"

"Neither of us are at fault," Jongin interrupts. "We lied for love. You're not wrong, and neither am I."

Kyungsoo smiles. He doesn't notice someone gazing at him.

 

 

 

  
"Jongin, you absolutely stink at Mario Cart," Chanyeol guffaws.

"Shows that I have more of a life than you do," Jongin retorts. It's his fifth loss in a row. Sehun, seated by his feet, is dying of laughter along with Chanyeol.

Today's the day they're filming the music video for Love Me Right, and the three of them are on a break as Minseok and Jongdae film their scene.

"Let me," Sehun says, springing to his feet and reaching out for Jongin's controller. "Bet I can do better."

"We'll see," Jongin says, letting Sehun take over.

"Scoot over," Sehun says, nudging Jongin's foot.

Instead, Jongin pats his thigh. "Sit here."

Shrugging, Sehun turns around and lowers himself onto Jongin's lap. Jongin's lips split into a smile, and he circles his arms around Sehun's waist. Sehun is merciless, resting his full weight on Jongin's thighs, and Jongin is thankful for the fact that Sehun has a supple, not bony, butt.

Sehun laughs as he loses his balance and starts to slide off Jongin's lap, but Jongin manages to hold him in place with sheer arm strength along with the help of his legs.

Unsurprisingly, Sehun loses the game.

"It’s all your fault! You were a distraction," Sehun cries, turning around to point at Jongin's face with an accusatory finger. Jongin smiles at him. Sehun blushes.

"Guys," Chanyeol says, "can I ask you something?" It sounds serious.

Jongin finds one of Sehun's hands and laces their fingers together. The controller lies forgotten somewhere on the couch.

"Sure," they answer. "What is it?"

Chanyeol sets his controller aside and stares at the screen. "I... want to confess to someone. I don't know how to go about doing it."

"That's tough to answer," Jongin muses. "There really isn't a template for something like this. It depends on you and the other person, you know? The relationship itself and your separate personalities."

"Even if you manage to think of the best, most romantic scenario," Sehun adds, "things always turn out a little differently."

"Yeah; ours was completely out of the blue."

Sehun squeezes Jongin's fingers.

"It's Kyungsoo," Chanyeol says slowly, both syllables of the name weighing heavily on his tongue.

"Oh," Jongin utters, completely taken aback. The way Sehun swivels around to stare at him tells him he’s not the only one. "Well, in that case. I’d say to just be blunt with him about your feelings. He doesn't like it when people beat around the bush."

Chanyeol nods, and the three of them delve into silence. It’s only broken when a crew member shouts for a retake of their scene.

“I think it’ll be fine,” Sehun says, standing up and patting Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Call it a gut feeling.”

Chanyeol gives him a grateful smile and picks up his controller once more.

 

 

 

  
The nights are becoming a little cooler, and the stars seem to be shining a little brighter. It’s perfect for a getaway, so Sehun drags Jongin up to the roof of the building right after practice one day.

“You own a picnic blanket?” Jongin asks, settling down on said blanket.

“Found it in one of the practice rooms,” he answers, placing a hoodie in Jongin’s lap. He’s not entirely sure who it belongs to, but it’s definitely either his or Jongin’s. Ergo, it really doesn’t matter.

Lying down, Sehun pillows his head on his arms and stares up at the inky sky. Jongin mirrors his movements, but not before shaking out the hoodie and draping it across Sehun’s middle. He’s prone to catching the sniffles.

“What are you scared of?” Sehun asks, voice as soft as the gentle glimmering of the stars.

“Pyrotechnics,” Jongin answers, a hint of laughter laced throughout the word.

“I’m being serious,” Sehun says, nudging Jongin’s thigh with his knee.

Jongin pauses. Turning around, he rises up onto his elbows and looks down at Sehun’s serene face.

“Everything breaks,” Jongin says. “nothing truly lasts forever. That’s scary to me. Things I’ve worked so hard for, things I treasure and love… these could shatter in the matter of seconds. And I’ll never see it coming.”

He watches as Sehun’s eyes flutter shut.

“I’m scared that there’ll be a day where I won’t be able to surpass myself. Where I won’t even be able to meet my achievements of the previous day. I’m scared I’ll lose my passions. I’m scared of the day people I love will start to leave me.”

When Sehun opens his eyes, Jongin can see the reflection of the sky in his irises.

“Those are admirable fears,” he murmurs, shifting slightly. He turns his head towards Jongin. “Common, too, because they’re applicable to almost everyone and they’re inevitable.”

Mindlessly, Jongin reaches out and brushes a few strands of hair away from Sehun’s forehead.

“I have selfish fears,” Sehun continues. “I’m a hard person to love – I’m scared you’ll give up trying someday, and I don’t want to lose you. I’m scared I’ll stop dreaming. Dreams are where you’ll be eternally happy, you know? I don’t want to lose that either. I’m scared that being happy will only mean that pain will soon follow. I want to be happy, Jongin, but I’m scared to want that.”

For the first time, the subtle scent of Sehun’s shampoo fails to put Jongin’s mind at ease.

“Love is hard,” Jongin agrees, “but it’s because no one can ever really know what the other person means by love. When I tell you I love you, do you truly know what I’m feeling? You may know that I love you, but you won’t understand what that love is. It’s a challenge for me to try and show you, to explain to you. I’m not the only one – you’re faced with that challenge, too. Sehun?”

“Yes?”

“You can be happy. I’ll take away the pain that comes with it.”

By this point, Jongin’s seated upright, legs crossed in front of him. When Sehun rises up, Jongin meets him halfway. He cradles the base of Sehun’s skull tenderly, as if he were holding his whole world in his palms, and it sends warmth radiating from Sehun’s heart to the rest of his body.

Their noses barely brushing, Sehun runs the back of his fingers across one of Jongin’s cheeks, feeling the occasional bump of his mild acne and the constant slope of his cheekbone. As he presses a kiss onto the back of Jongin’s eyelid, he feels a tear fall from the corner of his own eye. It hugs the curve of his cheek as it travels south, and by the time he closes the distance between their lips, the tear has long fallen, leaving behind no sign of its presence.

 

 

 

  
Preparations for their Japanese debut is horribly stressful, to say the least. It’s hard to force the pronunciation of a new language down your throat and assume you’ll be able to regurgitate it like a native just days after – it simply doesn’t work that way. But they don’t have much of a choice.

Recording for the album takes a toll on their throats and mental strength. There are constant shouts of _stop! do it again!_ , and more often than not, the members will come out of the recording studios with angry tears in their eyes, a hoarse throat, and foreign Japanese words on their tongue.

For some reason, every single aspect of production that goes into this new record – songwriting, choreography, styling, and so forth –, seems considerably harder. As the debut date nears and the production of the album wraps up, they start to make regular trips to Japan in order to kickstart promotions.

The number of hours of sleep they manage to snatch are whittled down to an average of 3 a day, and it takes a serious toll on everyone. Communication between the members have flatlined a long time ago, and there’s a permanent scowl in Junmyeon’s eyes whenever he’s faced with the task of getting the group together.

Silence can be nice, depending on the situation and the environment, but the silence that’s been festering within the group is downright harrowing. Even if they wanted to deal with it, they don’t know how to – no one in the group is at fault.

Minseok is the first one to snap. After four straight hours of dance practice one day, he calls up their managers and waits for them to enter the room before locking the door and rounding on them. The other members watch over the rim of their water bottles in silence.

“I don’t care about the fact that our debut is next week,” he hisses, “we need a goddamn rest. We need a solid twelve hours of sleep, or we’ll ruin this debut before it even gets a chance to grace the covers of newspapers. Someone, I don’t care who, will make sure we get no vocal or dance practice tomorrow. The whole of tomorrow. I’m not going to go through another eighteen hours of singing and dancing – eighteen hours. _We’re not fucking robots_.”

Junmyeon doesn’t even try to pretend to get Minseok to stop talking. He’s got his head pillowed on Baekhyun’s shoulder, and an empty bottle of water dangling from his fingers. In the far corner of the room, Jongin’s already falling asleep, seated between Sehun’s legs and leaning against his chest. Sehun tightens his hold around Jongin’s middle as he stares up at their managers.

“Kyungsoo and Baekhyun already had to receive IV drips,” Chanyeol begins, the deep tone of his voice lacking the emotion that usually comes with it. “Yixing hyung’s injuries have been acting up again, and Jongin’s been nursing a fever that comes and goes.”

“He’s currently having the damn fever,” Sehun mutters. Chanyeol glances over at him.

“We have very observant and outspoken fans,” Junmyeon adds. “We’ve just been hiding things from them relatively well. Do you want to do something about it, or do you want us to do something? I can’t promise our fans will take this easily.”

Their managers have a pained look on their faces – it’s not exactly their fault either, per se, but there’s a higher chance that management will listen to them over the members themselves. Collateral damage is necessary for this situation.

“We’ll take this issue to the higher-ups,” a manager finally says. The others nod. Minseok stares at them until they leave.

 

 

 

  
Two free days. 48 hours.

“Stay,” Jongin mumbles, flinging a leg over Sehun’s and burying deeper under the covers. He’s breaking his fever, and Sehun’s been pumping him with fluids and light porridge that Kyungsoo has made.

“I’m just going to get you more water,” Sehun says, raising the empty pitcher. “I’ll be right back.”

Groaning, Jongin releases Sehun and latches onto Sehun’s pillow instead. Sehun steps out of the room after giving Jongin’s warm forehead a kiss.

“How’s he doing?” Kyungsoo asks, gesturing for Sehun to pass him the water pitcher.

“Should be better by the time we’re due back for practice,” Sehun answers. “Hopefully.”

Cheers erupt from the living room, and Sehun peers around the kitchen door to see Minseok, Jongdae, Chanyeol, and Baekhyun all huddled around their gaming console, still clad in their pyjamas. Odds are, they’re playing a football game. Junmyeon’s hogged the entire couch to himself, and he’s got his eyes trained on the screen, mouth agape as he prepares to shout and cheer for his members. Through the crack of the bedroom door, Sehun can see Yixing’s foot tapping rhythmically against the floor.

It’s a much nicer mood, and stress is dissipating through open windows and cracks under the doors.

“I thought you left me for whatever game they’re playing,” Jongin mumbles, cracking an eye open when Sehun enters the room.

“Why would I,” Sehun says, “when I could be snuggling with you?”

He pours a glass of water and waits until Jongin drains it before setting it aside and climbing back into bed. Jongin fits comfortably into his side, and with the aid of the medicine he had taken not long ago, he falls asleep in no time. Sehun buries his nose in Jongin’s hair and takes in the familiar scent that he’s come to associate with a slightly faster heartbeat and the upward curve of the lips. This scent hasn’t changed for years, and Sehun loves it.

He slips an earbud into his ear and closes his eyes.

When he wakes up, Jongin’s already awake.

"You're up," Sehun mumbles, voice husky from sleep. "Are you feeling better?"

Jongin answers by giving him a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Mm," Sehun hums, pressing the back of his hand against Jongin's forehead. "You're not burning up anymore."

"Now that I'm all better, I want chicken," Jongin says, grinning.

"Tomorrow," Sehun promises, "after we fill up our cuddle meter."

Jongin pretends to cringe, but he lets Sehun burrow his way under his chin with a smile.

“Jongin?”

“Hm?”

“I want a dog.”

“Okay, let’s get you a dog.”

 

 

 

  
They fly to Tokyo the night of November 3rd.

As per usual, Sehun shares a room with Chanyeol – this arrangement helps their managers feel at ease (as compared to all the possible things that could happen if they let Sehun room with Jongin – at this point, their managers have a pretty good inkling of the extent of their relationship).

“You’re going to be another year older soon,” Sehun says, lying down on his bed with his legs hanging off the side. “Time passes way too fast. You’re like an old man now.”

“I’m only two years older than you,” Chanyeol frowns. “Technically, one and a half.”

“Still older,” Sehun grins, and Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

“I’m gonna order room service. Want anything?”

“I’ll get whatever you’re getting,” Sehun replies. His phone buzzes, and a scan of the screen has him smiling.

The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Chanyeol. After he sets the phone’s handset back in its cradle, he goes to sit by Sehun.

“I want what you have,” he says. Sehun pauses in typing out a reply to Jongin’s text in order to slide his gaze over to Chanyeol.

“No, you want what your heart thinks it could have,” Sehun replies.

“Tomorrow,” Chanyeol muses. “Tomorrow I’ll tell him. Tomorrow’s a big day for us – maybe it’ll serve as a symbol of luck for me.”

Sehun sends off his text and sets his phone down. “I hope it turns out well.”

“Yeah. I hope so too.”

 

 

 

  
When the door to their room slams open at the crack of dawn, Chanyeol shoots upright in his bed with a yell, hair a mess and fists ready to throw bleary punches. Sehun, on the other hand, simply groans into his pillow and throws the covers over his head.

“Wake up,” Jongin whispers, ducking past Junmyeon in order to get to Sehun’s side. “Junmyeon’s making us celebrate our debut. We have cake or something.”

Sehun shifts, a tuft of silver hair visible above the edge of his blanket. “Why,” comes the reply. “Junmyeon, why.”

Junmyeon chooses not to answer the question. He emerges reluctantly with too-long bangs hanging in front of his sleepy eyes, and Jongin gives him a quick peck on the cheek before hastily pulling him up and out of the comfort of his bed.

Kyungsoo takes a step forward, cake in his hands, and Chanyeol squints through the dim light of the room. An excited Junmyeon lights the candles (they spell out ‘EXO’), and Chanyeol’s face lights up with curiosity.

“Cake!” He exclaims happily, one shoulder exposed as his bathrobe slips off. “What’s the occasion!”

“Debut,” Minseok hisses, sounding extremely cranky. “It better be an amazing cake.”

“It’s an ice cream cake~” Baekhyun trills, taking the cake off Kyungsoo’s hands and placing it on the desk chair. Minseok’s eye twitches. Baekhyun rolls the chair over to the middle of the room, humming as he does so – Sehun stares at him incredulously, for he sounds way too awake to be normal. Junmyeon beckons for everyone to gather together, and Sehun finds himself leaning across the side of his bed, blankets bunched up around his legs as he struggles to get as close to the candles as possible.

Chanyeol, who loves blowing out candles, is the first one to huff. Minseok doesn’t even bother – by the time he manages to gather air in his mouth, the flames have already flickered out. The rest of the members clap, and Jongdae blows a handful of confetti into the air.

“Happy Japanese debut to us,” Baekhyun and Junmyeon chorus. The other members pile themselves onto the two available beds. Jongin shoves his cold feet under the covers between Sehun’s shins.

“We have just enough time for some cake before we have to get ready,” Junmyeon says, holding a stack of paper plates in his hands. “Don’t eat too much cake, either. We’ll have more during the showcase later tonight.”

“One can never eat too much cake,” Minseok declares, suddenly looking a lot happier now that he has cake in his hands. He digs into his slice with gusto.

Jongin gathers a still-sleepy Sehun into his arms and patiently feeds him mouthfuls of cake. Halfway through the large slice – they’re sharing one –, Jongin feels someone’s eyes on his face, and he looks up to see Kyungsoo gazing at them. The singer turns away immediately, expression unreadable.

“Wake up,” Jongdae intones, poking Sehun in the side. Sehun squirms, the movement effectively distracting Jongin, and he misses Kyungsoo turning back to look at them with a masked look of want.

“I’m up damnit,” Sehun complains, but Jongdae refuses to let him go, digging fingers deeper into his sensitive sides until Sehun’s a crying mess in Jongin’s lap. Jongin simply leans back in order to avoid any flailing limbs, and polishes off the rest of the cake.

When the sun’s hanging high in the sky, Junmyeon gets off the foot of Sehun’s bed and places his paper plate on the room service cart.

“Let’s go get ready,” he says, checking his phone for the time. “We’re due to leave for rehearsals in a little over an hour.”

The members get to their feet obediently, before dropping their plates on top of Junmyeon’s and filing past their leader towards the door.

“Wait,” Chanyeol says, a hand on Kyungsoo’s arm. “I need to talk to you.”

That jolts Sehun into full consciousness, and he ushers everyone out the door at top speed. Grabbing a bathrobe, he slips it on, stuffs his feet into a pair of hotel slippers, and exits his room as well.

“I’m coming to yours,” Sehun tells Jongin, who agrees easily.

“What’s happening?” Junmyeon asks, turning to look at the closed door.

“Important conversation,” Sehun answers, “a very private one. I’ll wash up at Jongin’s.”

Baekhyun whistles, the sound long and deep. “I hope it goes well.”

 

 

 

  
“He just got up and left,” Chanyeol says. His voice rings hollow, and he’s staring at himself in a full-length mirror with unfocused eyes. “Didn’t say anything. Just… left.”

Sehun glances helplessly at Baekhyun. There’s a constant, loud buzz around them as preparations are underway in the dressing room, but Chanyeol can’t seem to hear anything else apart from his own voice.

“He was probably taken by surprise,” Baekhyun tries. “It’s always a shock when someone confesses his or her feelings to you. Give him time to process it.”

Someone opens the dressing room door and informs them that they have fifteen minutes before they’re due on stage.

“Try not to look so defeated,” Baekhyun continues, “there are thousands of fans outside waiting to see the best side of us.”

“I know. Don’t worry about that. I’m great at putting on a show.”

He turns away from the mirror and strides past Baekhyun without a single word or glance.

“I’ll keep trying to knock some sense into him,” Baekhyun sighs, adjusting his mic absently. “Wish me luck.”

When Sehun looks over his shoulder at the rest of the room, he sees Jongin sitting next to Kyungsoo. Neither one of them is talking. Before he can take a step towards them, however, someone comes up to him and starts dusting powder across his nose. Forced to stand still, Sehun settles for taking deep breaths. Unlike Chanyeol, he’s not good at pretending that things are okay, and the showcase today really needs to go as smoothly as possible.

 

 

 

  
Jongin doesn’t say much to Kyungsoo.

“I know you think you’re not good enough for him, but don’t you think that the fact that he wants you means something? Out of everyone he could’ve fallen for, he fell for you. He doesn’t want you to be better, he just wants whatever you have to offer. It’s not selfish to want someone to love you. It’s selfish not to let someone who already loves you to continue loving you.”

He stands, checks his mic pack, and looks down at Kyungsoo who’s staring back up at him.

“You once told me I was lucky for being able to be with the person I love. It’s not luck. It’s a gamble. You’re playing with the one hand you’ve got, and it’s one you know you can win with.”

 

 

 

  
“Will you wait for me?”

Chanyeol, in a state of stupefaction, blinks down at Kyungsoo.

“Wait for me,” Kyungsoo says, trying his best to claw at the desperation slipping into his voice. Seconds seem to tick by at a snail’s pace.

“I’ll wait for you,” Chanyeol agrees. Breathing starts to get hard; blood’s rushing about in his head at an alarming speed.

Kyungsoo swallows. Lifting a hand, he thumbs gently at Chanyeol’s cheek before letting his arm drop back against his side.

“I promise I’ll come to you,” Kyungsoo says. “Just give me some time.”

 

 

  
December brings with it a wave of year end performances, and despite collecting more than an armful of awards, the boys barely have the time to wish their loved ones a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

“Merry Christmas,” Jongin whispers into Sehun’s ear. The clock strikes midnight as their van trundles home from yet another performance. “Sorry I wasn’t able to get you a present this year.”

“You give me a present every morning,” Sehun replies, “when I open my eyes and see you there. And that’s more than enough. Merry Christmas to you too. Love you.”

“Can you two talk _after_ everyone has their earphones in?” Baekhyun grumbles, before proceeding to plug his ears. Sehun sticks his tongue out at him.

“Love you too,” Jongin smiles. “Grab some sleep, you should make full use of our day off later to go see your family.”

At the mention of his family, Sehun sits up a little straighter and turns to look at Jongin. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Go with you? To see your family?”

“Yeah. Since your parents are back in Suncheon this year. You don’t have to, of course, but if you want and don’t have any plans, I know my parents will be more than happy to see you.”

“Do your parents know..?”

“No,” Sehun says, tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I’m planning on telling them when I see them.”

Jongin gives Sehun’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “In that case, I think I should be there.”

 

 

 

  
“Hyung, can you _please stop messing with my things – hyung!_ ” Sehun lets out an unattractive yell as he lunges for his brother.

“Little does Sehun know,” Mrs. Oh tells Jongin in a hushed tone as she watches Sehun attempt to yank his brother’s pants down, “his brother’s been through his entire room like he’s hunting for treasure.”

Laughing, Jongin hikes his knees up to his chest just in time to prevent one of the Oh brothers tripping over them and falling face first into the coffee table.

“You went through my diaries, didn’t you?” Sehun demands, flinging his legs over the back of an armchair as he continues with his pursuit of his brother. He narrowly misses grabbing his brother by the arm.

“Maybe,” is the reply, and Sehun groans before giving up and slumping onto the armchair. His brother stops running as well, hunching over his knees as the Christmas tree twinkles next to him.

“Where’s Dad,” Sehun bemoans, staring up at the ceiling. “He’ll help me take revenge.”

“He’s out running errands,” Mrs. Oh says, “he’ll be back in time for lunch.”

The couch sinks a little more when Sehun’s brother claims the open space to Jongin’s right. Grinning, Jongin gives him a fist bump and a thumbs up as thanks for tormenting Sehun throughout his life.

“Haven’t seen you in so long man, you’ve been doing good for yourself!”

“Our success comes at a cost,” Jongin says, “a really big cost.”

“Make sure you take time for yourself,” Mrs. Oh chimes in, the mother in her revealing itself with that single sentence. “Always try and balance work and leisure.”

“If only it were that easy,” Sehun mutters, lacing his fingers together and resting them on his stomach. “What’s leisure? Is that something I can eat? Or wear, maybe? Someone please enlighten me.”

Jongin smiles at his dramatics.

“Did you find yourself a nice girl?” Mrs. Oh asks, a small hand resting on Jongin’s knee. “You need someone to remind you to take care of yourself. I know you, and you’re always too focused on your work.”

“Ah, no, no girl,” Jongin answers, suddenly feeling very unprepared, “but –”

“He has the bad habit of practicing without water,” Sehun interrupts, glancing over at Jongin’s direction, “and he doesn’t realise he’s dehydrated until he gets all dizzy and his heart starts palpitating.”

“Sehun’s always on my case about that,” Jongin says sheepishly. “He always ends up bringing extra bottles of water for me.”

“He cares more for you than he does for me,” his brother complains.

“True,” Sehun says. “I wouldn’t bring water for you.”

Mrs. Oh frowns reproachfully at Sehun, but Sehun simply beams at his mother.

“No girl?” Mrs. Oh says, turning back to Jongin. She sounds painfully sympathetic. “Not interested in anyone? But all the girls in your industry are so pretty.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Jongin sees Sehun stretch out his legs.

“That’s… true, but –”

“I’m prettier than all of them,” Sehun interrupts again. He turns around and looks at Jongin. Suddenly, Jongin isn’t nervous anymore.

Mrs. Oh looks understandably confused, but Sehun’s brother seems to get what Sehun is trying to say.

“That’s not true,” he says. “Yoona tops all. And you can’t forget about Eugene either. But as long as Jongin here is happy with you, I guess.”

Is this his cue? Jongin licks his lips and gives Sehun’s brother a thankful incline of the head before clearing his throat.

“I am. Quite happy. With Sehun.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Oh utters. When she falls silent, Sehun scrambles to sit upright and leans forward.

“Mum?”

She turns to him slowly.

“Jongin… is with you?”

“Yeah,” Sehun says. “We’re together.”

Mrs. Oh studies her son for a long time, but Sehun doesn’t push her for a response.

“Good,” she finally says. “Jongin is a good boy. He’ll take good care of you.”

“Why do you always assume I have to be taken care of?” Sehun asks indignantly.

Mrs. Oh snorts. “Please. You’re my son. I know you.”

Jongin tries his hardest not to laugh, but he fails horribly when Sehun’s brother lets out a bark of laughter. Sehun rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at Jongin.

After he calms down, Jongin manages to catch a glimpse of Sehun’s smile before it disappears. It’s one of thinly veiled elation, and the warmth in Jongin’s heart spreads throughout his whole body. Jongin loves the feeling.

 

 

 

  
At some point during their stretch of promotional events in Japan, something seems to bloom deep inside Kyungsoo. There’s a new warmth present in the pools of his eyes, and it brings with it a delicate sense of affection that spreads throughout the group.

“Does Vivi miss papa,” Sehun coos into the phone, grinning when he hears a flurry of barks in response. Jongin, head pillowed in his lap, cringes at the tone of Sehun’s voice.

“Dude, I don’t even talk to my dogs like that,” he says. Sehun looks down at him incredulously.

“Are you serious? You’re definitely the worst one out of both of us.”

A sprinkle of colour appears along Jongin’s cheekbones, and he snatches the phone out of Sehun’s hand with a huff.

“How’re my babies doing?”

Sehun fights back a laugh – he can practically hear Jongin’s sister roll her eyes through the phone. Unsurprisingly, Jongin splutters at whatever his sister says, and Sehun tunes the bickering of the Kim siblings out in favour of surveying the practice room they’re in.

They’ve been travelling across Japan for the past month and a half, and their promotional schedule is to last for another month or so. They’ve been in so many different practice rooms and hotels that they’ve started to blur into one another. For at least three times, every single member has forgotten their room number for their current hotel. Instead, they’ll find themselves standing outside doors with the numbers of their previous rooms, jiggling the door knobs until someone inside the room opens it with an irate glare or until a manager manages to save them in time.

Minseok and Jongdae are fooling around in the middle of the practice room, coming up with ridiculous dance moves for their songs that lack a choreography. Baekhyun’s having the time of his life filming the two of them and adding in his own commentary.

“Look at them moving just like seaweed swaying along to the current of the waters!” Baekhyun crows. Chanyeol bursts into laughter, and Sehun joins in with a snigger.

Jongin ends the call and pockets Sehun’s phone.

“My sister says Rahee loves Vivi,” Jongin tells him. Sehun grins.

“Of course she does. Vivi’s amazing. Like owner, like puppy.”

Jongin snorts and turns away from Sehun’s cheeky smile. Getting to his feet, Jongin walks over to join the two in the middle of the room. He’s thankful for the distraction – otherwise, he might have ended up doing something ridiculously embarrassing, like smother Sehun’s face with kisses, for there’s no lie in Sehun’s words.

When Jongin chances a glance back over his shoulder, Sehun’s looking back at him with a knowing shine in his eyes. Flushing, Jongin lets Jongdae pull him closer into a sweaty huddle with Minseok.

Junmyeon’s the last of the Kim bros to be roped into the dance, and the rest of the members watch in blatant amusement as poor Junmyeon’s asked to do the most ridiculous moves imaginable. Baekhyun films everything, glee evident on his face as he stocks up on blackmail material.

The couch dips slightly. Sehun looks over to his right and sees Kyungsoo settling down next to him. There’s a faint curl to his lips, and the singer seems at complete peace.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Sehun says, gaze searching.

“Over the past few weeks, I’ve come to the conclusion that waiting is inherently a mistake,” Kyungsoo replies, the words readily perched on the tip of his tongue. “Which is ironic, because waiting gives me the illusion that I’ll be able to figure things out as time passes.”

Sehun fixes his full attention on Kyungsoo.

“Time may be infinite, but we are finite.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes shift from Sehun’s face to a corner of the room, and Sehun doesn’t have to follow Kyungsoo’s line of sight for him to know what he’s looking at.

“He’s willing to wait for me.” There’s a flicker of wonderment in Kyungsoo’s voice. “He’s not afraid of running out of time. I’m the only flower in his garden, and he’s going to wait for me to blossom, despite knowing that technically, flowers will ultimately die. He’s been waiting for me through sunrises and sunsets, and he doesn’t leave even when the night is at its darkest.”

“Hyung,” Sehun says softly. “I think you’re talking to the wrong person.”

“Not completely,” Kyungsoo replies. “I have you and Jongin to thank. I’ve never seen anyone wait as patiently for another person as the two of you have.”

Kyungsoo turns around and pulls Sehun in for a quick hug.

“Go get your man,” Sehun laughs, giving Kyungsoo’s middle an extra squeeze before letting go. Kyungsoo smiles at him, ruffles his hair, and rises from the couch.

As Kyungsoo crosses the room to where Chanyeol’s busy fiddling with a music app on his phone, Sehun makes his way over to Jongin.

He pulls Jongin away from the other three, and in the middle of Jongdae’s whines and Minseok’s complaints, he cups Jongin’s face between the curves of his palms and presses a deep kiss to Jongin’s mouth.

“Oh jeez,” Minseok mutters, turning around resolutely.

“What was that for?” Jongin asks quietly, fingers curling into the hem of Sehun’s shirt as he leans in for another nip at Sehun’s bottom lip.

“For loving me. And for letting me love you, too.”

Unbeknownst to either of them, Yixing had taken a quick picture of their embrace. The picture is slightly blurry as a result of movement, but perfection is always in the imperfections. Yixing smiles at the picture and flips to a new page in his notebook. He scribbles a quick _he looks at him like he’s magic_ at the top of the page and caps his pen.


	5. Chapter 5

Halfway through March, management announces that EXO’s first subunit will be made up of Sehun, Jongin, and Baekhyun. Tentatively named EXO: Eos, the trio will start promotions during the first week of May.

“Please,” Baekhyun says, turning to face the couple. “ _Please_ keep all forms of PDA at a minimum. If not, I will be the first person to supply Dispatch with the juiciest tidbits about the both of you.”

“If only we believed that you would actually go through with that threat,” Jongin replies, raising an eyebrow. Baekhyun sighs.

“I swear I won’t scream in your ears when you’re sleeping from now on if the both of you promise to keep it in your pants.”

“Deal,” Sehun declares, extending his hand for Baekhyun to shake.

“Wait,” Jongin interrupts, pushing Sehun’s hand down. “Before we shake on this, can I at least celebrate the fact that I’m in a subunit with my boyfriend for a few moments?”

Baekhyun spends far too much time mulling over Jongin’s request, and Jongin himself is on his third eye roll when Baekhyun finally agrees.

“I will be in the corner,” he says dramatically. Behind him, Jongdae sniggers out loud. Minseok has a look on his face that screams _I understand_ in response to Baekhyun’s plight.

Chanyeol untangles his fingers from Kyungsoo’s and launches himself onto Baekhyun’s back. Yelling something along the lines of _how dare you ruin a potentially sweet moment_ , he tackles the singer to the ground and watches in mirth as Baekhyun flails.

Jongin ignores all the commotion in the room and pulls Sehun into his arms, face lighting up in joy when he witnesses Sehun’s eyes curving up into that pretty half-moon shape he loves so much.

“What are the odds,” Jongin says, slipping his fingers between Sehun’s, thumb coming to stroke the knuckles of a slim index finger.

“Well, there are nine of us,” Sehun starts, only to choke out a laugh when Jongin groans and jabs him in the neck with his free hand.

“Let’s work hard, okay?”

“Okay,” Sehun agrees. His eyes flutter shut when Jongin leans in to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll work hard so I won’t drag the unit down.”

“You’ve been lifting me up for so many years,” Jongin says, lips pressed against the hard line of Sehun’s jaw. “There’s no way you’ll pull me down.”

Sehun doesn’t reply, but Jongin can feel the tightening of Sehun’s arms around his middle.

 

 

 

  
“You wrote _and_ composed our title track?” Baekhyun repeats, saucer-eyed. Yixing modestly brushes the hidden compliment aside.

The rest of the group huddles around the computer, eyes trained on the cursor as Yixing directs it to a certain file on the desktop. One double-click later and the program loads the song file in a matter of seconds.

“The genre’s R&B with a heavy bass line, and although it carries throughout the song, the chorus has a strong electronic vibe. The style’s mainly inspired by the fact that both Sehun and Jongin like dancing to music of this sort; if you enjoy the music you’re dancing to, it shows through. I haven’t given it a title yet, but that’ll come soon. Here are the lyrics.”

Yixing passes out a copy to the three subunit members; the rest have to make do with peering over shoulders. Baekhyun starts to read the first verse out loud.

_You can’t call another human being your home,_   
_Or so I’ve been told,_   
_By the old man who owns a sweet shop,_   
_That’s open even during a total eclipse;_   
_By the young woman at the bus stop,_   
_With a cigarette hanging from her lips._

_But I never once claimed you were my home,_   
_For four walls will never hold us down,_   
_Roofs will never be able to contain us,_   
_And doors will never keep us apart._

_You are my world, and I am the only star in your sky,_   
_Made of nothing but whispers of love,_   
_Crumbles of pleased sighs,_   
_And the sheer heat of the sunsets above._

“That’s beautiful, hyung.” Jongin’s voice is soft, almost imperceptible, but Yixing manages to catch his words.

“Beautiful words have a beautiful story behind them,” Yixing expresses. He smiles at Jongin before turning back towards the monitor in order to click around. The intro to the song starts with smooth, deep notes, and it seems to slide into the first verse off a hanging drop.

Apart from the track being played, the recording room is silent. When the music fades out, Chanyeol is the first one to start applauding. The others join in almost instantly, and Yixing rubs at his neck bashfully.

“I wasn’t sure if they would use this track as the title track, or even use it in the album, but I’m really glad they did. It’s dedicated to both Jongin and Sehun – the two of you were the inspiration for this song.”

“Great,” Baekhyun deadpans, “I have to sing a love song about these two _with_ these two.”

Yixing waggles his eyebrows and hits replay.

 

 

 

  
With only a little over a month to prepare for the subunit’s debut, Sehun decides to push himself past every boundary he’s come to know since his first day in S.M. Entertainment all those years ago. Even though he’ll still be promoting under EXO’s name, being on stage in a smaller group means that more attention is focused on each person, and that’s a terrifying reality. It’s crystal clear to Sehun where his strengths and weaknesses lie, and he knows that he’s got more than one weakness when it comes to performing on stage.

He requests for more vocal and rap practice sessions on top of his regular dance practices, and he doesn’t question his own decision even once. If he’s fortunate enough, he’ll snag a total of four hours of sleep a night, but three ends up being the usual number. The first one in a practice studio and the last one to leave, Sehun works past fatigue, frustration, and the constant pain in his muscles.

His practice schedule differs from Jongin’s as well as Baekhyun’s, and apart from running through their title song’s choreography and vocal performance, the three of them are rarely in the same room for an extended period of time. Truth be told, Sehun doesn’t mind being apart from Jongin during this time at all – it saves having to explain to his boyfriend the reason behind why he’s working himself over the edge.

It’s two in the morning, and Sehun’s got the title track playing through the speakers as he runs through the choreography again and again. Through the mirror, his sweat-drenched self is staring back at him, gaze unwavering. When Sehun registers himself blinking halfway through the chorus, he realises that his muscles are contracting and extending of their own accord. His brain’s shut down long ago, and muscle memory is the only thing getting him through this dance practice.

The doorknob rattles and the door itself swings open.

It’s Kyungsoo, and there’s a large metal lunch box in his hands.

“Hyung? What are you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that question,” Kyungsoo says. The song fades into silence.

“I’m practising,” Sehun mutters. Now that he’s stopped moving, he can feel the exhaustion crash down on him in a single, heavy wave. With every exhale, his heart rattles against his ribs.

“You do realise that practising and running yourself into the ground – no, past the ground and towards the Earth’s damn mantle – is not synonymous, right?” Kyungsoo admonishes, steering Sehun over to a chair before gesturing for him to sit.

“I don’t have a lot of time to improve,” Sehun says flatly. Kyungsoo fixes him with a strong look as he sets the lunch box down and cracks the lid open.

“Eat,” he orders. Sehun stares at the fork hovering in front of his face. “I won’t have you keel over one day. I don’t want to deal with a hysterical Jongin.”

“Please don’t tell him,” Sehun implores quietly. “I don’t want him to worry.”

“He’s already worrying,” Kyungsoo tells him. “So far, we’ve managed to convince him that your schedule is the opposite of his, which is why you’re never home when he is. But if you keep this up, we won’t be able to keep covering your ass. When was the last time you saw him?”

“Three days ago,” Sehun answers, shoving a large mouthful of Kyungsoo’s signature kimchi spaghetti into his mouth. When was the last time he’d eaten something apart from sandwiches and caffeinated drinks from the convenience store?

Kyungsoo pushes a bottle into Sehun’s hands.

“Warm water. With honey. Drink.”

Sehun obeys.

“Go home, Sehun-ah. Lie in the same bed with Jongin for a few hours. It’ll do the both of you some good. His back’s acting up again, did you know?”

The fork in Sehun’s hands still above the pasta.

“Is it bad?”

“He says it’s manageable, but…”

“But it’s Jongin,” Sehun sighs. “Yeah, I get it.”

“Finish your food. Then come home with me.”

 

 

 

  
It doesn’t come as a surprise to Sehun when he climbs under the covers and finds Jongin still relatively awake and alert. Pulling the duvet up to their chins, Sehun mirrors Jongin’s position and turns to lie on his side so that they’re face to face. Jongin’s eyes are searching as Sehun stays silent.

“Where’ve you been?”

Straight to the point.

“Practicing,” Sehun answers.

“I talked to Youngjun hyung today. You’ve been filling your schedule to the brim for our unit debut, haven’t you? You do realise that they set our schedules the way that they do – and have done thus far – because it’s what they think is enough, right? Why are you insisting on piling so much more on your plate?”

“With every comeback, we’re expected to have surpassed ourselves in every imaginable way. We’re expected to have taken steps closer to being the perfect idol, in stage presence, in dancing, in singing and rapping, and overall presentation. Everyone else makes great leaps and bounds in that aspect, but I’ve just been managing to cross the finish line just before the race comes to a close each time. If I don’t push myself, how am I supposed to improve? And I’ve improved, Jongin, I really have. If that improvement requires a little bit of sacrifice on my part, then so be it. Of all people, I’m sure you would understand that.”

There’s a crease between Jongin’s eyebrows that seems too familiar, and Sehun can feel the emphatic _but_ rising in Jongin’s throat. He decides to cut in before Jongin gets the chance to utter a single syllable.

“I’ve seen the comments online. I’ve seen people dismiss my position in EXO, seen them question why I’m even in a group that is otherwise made up of talented individuals. I’ve read criticisms that target even the smallest aspect of what I contribute to EXO, and I’ve seen fans of mine get laughed at and ridiculed over supporting me.

“I’m not doing this just for me. I’m doing it for all of you, for my family, for the name of this company, and for our fans. I know I can do better, _be_ better. So don’t you guys deserve a better me?”

Sighing, Jongin slides a hand underneath his cheek. His eyes are slightly bloodshot.

“But you’re already the best you in my eyes,” Jongin whispers.

“You’re saying that because you love me,” Sehun tells him, inching closer. He lets Jongin stuff cold toes between his shins. “But I know you understand.”

Jongin cranes his neck and plants a kiss on the bridge of Sehun’s nose.

“Yeah, I understand.”

Drawing Jongin’s face closer with a hand behind his head, Sehun manages to coax a proper kiss out from between Jongin’s lips with no effort whatsoever.

“Let’s sleep,” Sehun says thickly when they part. “I’ll be here in the morning.”

 

 

 

  
Miraculously, Sehun manages to make it to their subunit’s debut with no major mishaps apart from a pulled hamstring that he copes with the help of KT tape and painkillers.

Following the end-of-the-world concept they’re aiming for, the mini album is titled _Dystopia_ , and Yixing gives their title song the name of “The World Over”. With the help of the same director and cinematographer behind Love Me Right, the subunit completes filming of the music video in a little under ten hours. With more than a handful of dystopian-themed sets and landscapes paired alongside a heavily jazz-inspired choreography, the music video is bound to be breathtaking.

There are differences between promoting under the full group and under a subunit. Lines, for one, are distributed differently. Sehun finds himself assigned most of the rap lines as well as some of the adlibs, and Jongin fills in the remainder of the rap along with a fair portion of the verses. It’s a nice division of labour, complete with Baekhyun shouldering the weight of the vocally challenging sections.

Sehun’s hair is dyed a nice shade of lilac, whereas Baekhyun chooses to stick to a caramel tone. Jongin returns to platinum blond, much to Sehun’s delight.

“You look good,” Jongin comments, standing with his arms crossed as he studies the photographs on the screen.

“Do you ever think he _doesn’t_ look good,” Baekhyun challenges. Jongin snorts.

“You’d be surprised. No one looks good 24/7,” Jongin says. “And yes, Baekhyun, that includes you.”

Baekhyun shuts his mouth, affronted. Sehun steps off the set and laughs gleefully at the look on Baekhyun’s face.

Sehun is the last one up for individual album shots, and he’s more than a little pleased to be able to finally get out of this ridiculously clingy pair of pants. Giving Jongin’s wrist a squeeze, he makes a beeline for the changing rooms, his favourite pair of comfy jeans in hand.

“Pick ten,” the photographer says, walking up to stand next to Jongin.

“What?” Jongin glances over, surprised. “You want me to choose?”

Nodding, the photographer gestures to the screen. “Makes my life easier. Besides, you’re a part of the album.”

“Do I get to pick?” Baekhyun asks, sticking his head around Jongin’s shoulder.

“Depends on if you end up picking the ones I like,” Jongin says, grinning.

A few minutes later, Jongin points out his ten favourite pictures of Sehun’s individual shoot to the photographer’s assistant and requests for a softcopy of all of them. The assistant passes him a USB not long after, and Jongin stashes it in his pocket happily.

 

 

 

  
**EXO: Eos Debuts Successfully With A Smooth, Sexy, and Polished Song – Fans Look Forward to Future Subunits**

Dystopia shoots to the top of real-time charts, all tracks managing to stay in the top 10 for a respectable number of weeks. Pre-sales easily hit 300,000 in 24 hours, and their music video racks up over ten million views in the same time period. They pull in a total of 8 music show wins, even managing to score a triple crown on Music Core.

Every single day of the promotional cycle was memorable, but nothing could beat the day of their debut. They had such an elaborate stage, and it really didn’t seem like it was the unit’s debut. Silver pinpricks of light seemed to fill up all corners of the studio – Jongin remembers imagining that they’re stars in the sky and wishing for an amazing performance on every single one of them.

Rehearsals had gone by smoothly, and the actual performance felt so exhilarating that the trio had gone off stage with dazed smiles on their faces. Junmyeon and Jongdae, who had accompanied them to the show in order to show their support, gave each one a tight hug, and Junmyeon had insisted on treating them to dinner.

“Remember the day we got our first win?” Baekhyun says, stretching out his legs on the sofa and ignoring the smack Minseok delivers to his shin. They’d just finished promoting Dystopia yesterday, and the members have a day of downtime before they’re due to start preparations for their third full length studio album.

“Sehun looked like he was going to burst into tears,” Jongdae laughs, snatching a potato chip out of the bag in Chanyeol’s hands.

“Did not,” Sehun retorts, “it was the light reflecting off my eyes.”

“I have pictures saved,” Baekhyun sings. “I can prove you wrong.”

Defeated, Sehun slumps deeper into Jongin’s chest and resolutely looks away from Baekhyun’s shit-eating grin. Kyungsoo leans over Chanyeol’s lap and taps him on the arm.

“I want to show you something,” he says, and holds out his phone. “Read it.”

Sehun glances down at the screen, and it takes him a few seconds to realise that it’s his name running across the headline of a news article Kyungsoo had pulled up. Immediately, his stomach sinks in dread, but when Jongin gives his arm a squeeze, he swallows past the phantom lump in his throat and continues reading.

It’s a compilation of the top netizen comments across various sites in response to the subunit’s debut, much like the compilations Sehun himself has seen before. But in an unforeseen turn of events, all the comments are positive.

“They’re… compliments?” As the words leave his lips, Sehun picks up on the wonderment in his voice. “About me?”

“Your improvements haven’t gone unnoticed,” Junmyeon tells him. “In fact, you’d be amazed at how many people have noticed them. Keep reading.”

And Sehun does. His eyes eagerly gulp up comments about his improvements in terms of stage performance, voice stability, and rapping style, and he keeps reading, keeps imprinting as many words as he can into his brain, until he reaches the end of the webpage.

Somewhere amongst all the comments lies this particular one:

_[+ 482, – 59] his improvement is really inspiring. it shows how much better you can be if you put effort and time into it. in the past, a lot of people viewed him as a disposable member, but i really don’t think that’s the case now. if he keeps working as hard as he has, i think it’s possible he can become one of the core members in the future._

Baekhyun pretends that he doesn’t see the single teardrop hitting the screen and breaking apart, and Kyungsoo doesn’t comment on it when Sehun passes his phone back to him. Jongin, feeling ridiculously proud (having read over Sehun’s shoulder), gives Sehun a kiss on the jaw and tightens his hold around Sehun’s waist.

Chanyeol cranks up the volume of the TV, and everyone focuses their attention on the reality show that’s currently playing. Lacing his fingers with Jongin’s, Sehun gives them a squeeze and lets his unshed tears dry up.

 

 

 

  
The second half of 2016 passes by in a flurry of sweat, exhaustion, and adrenaline. The success of EXO’s third album is through the roof – it breaks more than a few records and brings in more than a few awards, and their place in the Hallyu wave is cemented with no room for doubt, even in the eyes of non-fans.

 _EXO From. EXOPLANET #3 – The EXO'rDIUM_  brings along with it the first wisps of winter, and for the first time in their lives, they find themselves headlining their own world tour. It’s a point in their lives to remember, as they fly all over the world to perform at sold-out shows.

The new year meets Sehun at the doorstep with an offer for the lead role in a new drama, and he accepts it as soon as he gets the company’s word of approval. It’s tiring work, having to memorise lines in planes and packed vehicles as they tour and having to film the second they arrive back in South Korea, but it’s all worth it. He puts his heart and soul into the role, spending all his free time reading and re-reading his lines until he’s able to recite them in his sleep. Jongin is supportive, so much so that he’s willing to spend Valentine’s Day tucked in bed with Sehun, helping him rehearse his lines for the last episode. The next day, right after filming wraps up, Sehun stops by a family-run jewellery store and buys Jongin a promise ring.

“I should’ve gotten you one a long time ago,” Sehun says apologetically, sliding the ring onto Jongin’s left middle finger. It’s a simple platinum band, but Jongin was never a fan of extravagance. “Happy belated Valentine’s Day.”

“I got _you_ one a long time ago,” Jongin laughs, clambering over Sehun’s lap and pulling open the bedside drawer. Sehun blinks at the almost identical ring Jongin produces from a nondescript pouch.

“Happy belated Valentine’s Day to you too.”

When Sehun decides to lean in and give Jongin a kiss, he doesn’t expect his boyfriend to hoist him up into his lap.

“Is that the only Valentine’s Day present I’m getting or do I get to have my way with you too?”

Sehun raises an eyebrow at the cheeky glint in Jongin’s eyes. A warm hand slips underneath his shirt and slides up the slight curve of his back.

“I guess you could,” Sehun shrugs. “You’ve been kinda nice to me.”

“Kind of?” Jongin repeats, lips quirking.

Circling an arm around Jongin’s neck, Sehun uses the support to readjust his position.

“Kind of,” he confirms.

The next thing he knows, he’s thrown off Jongin’s lap, and the sheets are cool against his bare back. His shirt finds a new home on the floor, and Jongin himself finds a new home between Sehun’s legs.

“Don’t rest your entire weight on me,” Sehun comments, pulling Jongin’s face a little higher up so that he can nose down a handsome jawline. “You’re heavy.”

“You’re heavier than I am,” Jongin points out, tilting his head to intercept Sehun’s lips with his own.

“Lies,” Sehun breathes, arms coming to splay by his sides when Jongin kisses a line down his chest and towards his navel.

“Can’t believe you still have these sweatpants after so many years,” Jongin says, tugging on the drawstrings until they come undone.

“You gave it to me right before debut,” Sehun replies, “of course I’d keep it.”

“Sap,” Jongin says affectionately, and promptly rids Sehun of them.

There’s an interlude of silence, where Jongin busies himself by lapping lazily at Sehun’s nipples as the latter runs fingers through his hair. Sehun bucks involuntarily when Jongin bites down teasingly, and Jongin gets a smack on the head for his action.

“Hey, no violence – I know you like it when I do that.”

Sehun sighs in defeat and does his utmost best at distracting Jongin by grinding their pelvises together – it works, after an agonizingly long period of time, and a flustered Jongin strips the both of them of their clothes in favour of touching Sehun’s dick.

Sandwiched between long legs, Jongin strokes Sehun to full hardness, ears finely tuned to the pretty sounds coming out of Sehun’s mouth.

“Get on your knees for me,” Jongin coaxes, reaching around Sehun’s frame for the bottle of lube they leave lying under the pillow. The box of condoms they’d gotten along with it now lies forgotten in the bedside table.

Sehun does as he’s told, chin resting on Jongin’s shoulder and back curving almost poetically as he waits for Jongin to prep him. He exhales when Jongin lets go of his dick in favour of holding his hips in place, but the loss is soon replaced with a slick finger stroking his entrance and the familiar burn of being entered.

Jongin stretches Sehun open steadily, and by the time he’s three fingers in, there’s a copious amount of precum on his own dick, courtesy of Sehun.

“Natural lubrication,” Sehun laughs breathily, spreading it down Jongin’s length. Jongin tries his best not to smile dopily. Sehun settles back on his knees and guides the crown of Jongin’s dick towards his entrance – everything’s wonderfully familiar, from the way heat envelops Jongin to the way Sehun’s filled up just right.

“You good?”

“Great,” Sehun murmurs, and proceeds to rock his hips. Jongin holds on for the ride.

There are muted moans right in his ear, and Jongin can tell Sehun’s close.

“Sehun?”

“Yeah?”

Sehun isn’t alarmed when Jongin holds him tight around the hips and rises up on his knees. He finds himself being lowered – very gently – onto the mattress, and his thighs are nudged apart as Jongin buries himself a little deeper inside him.

“Have you ever thought about,” Jongin continues, grunting slightly as he thrusts, “about starting a family?”

Sehun doesn’t miss a beat.

“Yeah.”

Taken aback by how easily Sehun had answered him, Jongin stills and stares down at his flushed boyfriend.

“Really?”

“Yes,” Sehun pants. “But can we talk about this after we come?”

Jongin is pretty sure his hips have never moved so fast in his life.

 

 

 

  
Sehun’s got his eyes closed, but judging by the way his fingers are still tightly laced with his own, Jongin is sure he’s still awake.

“I can feel all your questions radiating off you,” Sehun laughs, pushing a damp lock of hair out of his forehead.

“Well, you can’t really blame me.”

At that, Sehun opens his eyes.

“I’ve thought about it. For a while now.”

“And?”

“And I want to have a family.”

When Jongin doesn’t respond, Sehun tries again.

“With you.”

“You –”

“But now isn’t the right time,” Sehun cuts in. “You know that, right? We still have to serve in the army, and as idols –”

“I know,” Jongin says. “I know that. But the fact that you’re willing…”

“Am I ever unwilling when it comes to a life with you,” Sehun deadpans, turning onto his side. Their lips brush, entirely coincidental, but it sends a jolt of warmth down Jongin’s body.

 

 

 

  
 _EXO From. EXOPLANET #3 – The EXO'rDIUM_  comes to a close at the end of May, and Kyungsoo is thrown headfirst into his first solo project. Chanyeol, ever the faithful boyfriend, is so _extra_ with his support that Kyungsoo himself ends up banning Chanyeol from tagging along whenever he’s recording/shooting/filming something for the album.

As Kyungsoo works on his music, Yixing decides to collaborate with his favourite couple on yet another project.

“A what?”

“A fashion line!” Yixing says excitedly. “Aimed towards young adults. A dressy, yet casual line. At least, that’s the concept I have in mind. I’ve already gotten the green light from management, and there’re a few companies that want to work with this project – if it happens. So what do you say?”

“Us?”

“Well, Sehun always has had great fashion sense – he always seems to make headlines whenever we’re at airports and whatnot –, and Jongin, your artistry is really amazing. I figured we’d make a pretty good team.”

“Sure,” Sehun says, “why not?”

Over the course of the next few months, they meet with countless individuals who are keen on being a part of their venture, fill up dozens of sketchbooks with designs, and supervise the development of the garments themselves.

Kyungsoo’s debut album drops just as the rush of summer comebacks starts to fade out. He sweeps the charts, as well as the hearts of a new army of fanboys. Chanyeol, hidden backstage, pretends he isn’t jealous when Kyungsoo sends his fanboys winks and finger hearts whenever he performs on stage.

Christened _Phenomenon_ , the clothing line launches during the first week of September with a store located nearby S.M. Entertainment’s old building. The online store opens just a few days later. As a marketing strategy, management announces the comeback of EXO: Eos hot on the heels of _Phenomenon’s_ launch. The single – featuring Yixing – drops by the end of the month, and as they’re in the middle of their promotional cycle, Jongin snags a spread in the next issue of _Dazed & Confused_.

Promotions for the single wrap up as October draws to a close, but the clothing line gains far more attention than they’d anticipated. As Yixing handles interviews from the China front, Sehun and Jongin deal with those from their motherland. They land a spread on _Vogue_ , and it’s an interview that is hard to forget.

 **Q:** You’ve known each other for years now; is working together something that just comes easily? Do you ever get into disagreements?  
 **SEHUN:** It’s been a decade, I think?  
 **KAI:** It has.  
 **SEHUN:** Working together is something that… has become a part of our lives. Yes, we get into disagreements –  
 **KAI:** A lot of them.  
 **SEHUN:** – but we never let these disagreements affect our personal relationship.

 **Q:** The both of you have expressed wishes of working with each other in the past – how does it feel now that your wishes have come true?  
 **KAI:** Pretty amazing.  
 **SEHUN:** I think I’ve gotten over being tired of his presence a long time ago.  
 **KAI:** You were tired of my presence?  
 **SEHUN:** (laughs)

 **Q:** How has knowing each other for a decade helped in your lives as members of EXO?  
 **SEHUN:** I know he’ll always be there for me.  
 **KAI:** It’s a type of faith that a lot of people would want to have in someone else. I’m lucky.  
 **SEHUN:** I’m lucky, too.

 **Q:** So is it fair to say that you know each other better than anyone else?  
 **KAI:** I would say so, yes.  
 **SEHUN:** Definitely.

 **Q:** What are your thoughts on your new clothing line? Were you prepared for the level of success it has managed to achieve?  
 **SEHUN:** When we were approached by Lay, we accepted the proposal because we thought it would be an interesting project.  
 **KAI** : Neither of us has ever ventured into fashion, and since this gave us an opportunity to experience another form of art – as well as work with Lay once more, who was the one behind our debut song – we thought it would be foolish to let it slip by.  
 **SEHUN:** I don’t think anyone involved in this project expected it to become such a successful one.  
 **KAI:** We will probably be opening a new store soon, so please anticipate it.

 **Q:** What are your future plans as members of EXO?  
 **KAI:** Well, first of all, we do have army service to fulfil.  
 **SEHUN:** But before that, EXO has plans for future project groups and new music.

 **Q:** When will the next comeback be?  
 **SEHUN:** Quite soon. Please look forward to it.

 **Q:** What are your future plans outside of EXO? Do you think you’ll continue working with each other?   
 **KAI:** There’s a possibility.  
 **SEHUN:** Probably. We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?

 **Q:** If you had to describe the other’s position in your life with a single word, what would it be?  
 **SEHUN:** Soulmate.  
 **KAI:** He stole my answer. Can I still use it?

 

 

 

  
EXO’s comeback mini album drops right before the floor of year-end award shows hits television stations. It’s a hectic month, as the members juggle both promotions and appearances, and the holiday season passes by without any festive celebrations whatsoever.

“Oh, I forgot to mention this yesterday; parents wish everyone a Merry Christmas,” Junmyeon says. They’re huddled together in a corridor as they wait to go on stage – it’s the day after Christmas.

“So did mine,” Jongdae chimes in. Following Jongdae, the other members proceed to offer up their families’ well wishes.

“I think my mum got you something,” Sehun says after, turning to Jongin. “I’ll try to find a day to visit her so I can pick it up.”

“She shouldn’t have,” Jongin comments, fiddling with the wire of his mic. “If I can’t come with you, please help me thank her.”

“Of course.”

The stage lights start to dim, and Jongin gives Sehun’s hand a quick squeeze before they hurry onstage. As Sehun averts his eyes from the blinding beam of light and gets into position, he realises that being on stage doesn’t give him the rush of adrenaline it used to. Of course it’s still exciting, performing for adoring fans and with the people he’s come to call family, but he knows this isn’t what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

 

 

 

  
2017 ends in a flurry of fireworks that Sehun and Jongin witness on the rooftop of the dorm building they lived in back when they were trainees.

“Happy New Year~” Jongin croons into Sehun’s ear before he leans in and gives Sehun a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “What are your resolutions?”

“I don’t really do resolutions,” Sehun admits, returning Jongin’s kiss with one of his own. “But I guess… work hard, be appreciative, love lots?”

“You already work hard, and you’re definitely appreciative,” Jongin points out. “And I can vouch for ‘love lots’. Congratulations on successfully achieving all your resolutions!”

Laughing, Sehun pulls his winter coat tighter around his shoulders and shuffles closer towards Jongin.

“Jongin?”

“Hm?”

“What do you say we enlist before 2020? So we can start a life out of the idol spotlight while we’re still relatively young.”

“You don’t plan on returning to EXO after your military service?”

“Honestly, I don’t see that happening, no.”

Jongin hums thoughtfully. “I think we’ll have to talk to the other members about this. But I promise I’ll go wherever you go.”

“I love you,” Sehun says, the tone of his voice as sweet as honey. “I know I don’t say that much, but I really do.”

“I know you do,” Jongin smiles, “you don’t have to say it at all for me to know that. It’s exactly like how you know that I love you, too.”

 

 

 

  
Minseok leans back in his seat and purses his lips thoughtfully.

“I’ve already told management that I plan to enlist in the middle of 2019. If the rest of you decide to go in around that time, I think we would have to talk about the future of the group in regards to what kind of life each of us wants to have after we come out of the army.”

It’s a Thursday night, and they’re huddled together in the living room with the central heating system cranked up high. Outside, the winds are howling, and the windows rattle in their frames ever so often.

“We’ll be different people when we’re discharged from the army,” Junmyeon says, “and it’s likely a few of us would want to leave the idol life behind.”

“The group is bound to have an end,” Baekhyun chimes in, “but it’d be nice if we all agreed on how this part of our lives will come to a close.”

“Personally,” Jongdae voices, “I’d like to leave the idol image behind. Maybe go into rock music, start a solo career…”

Chanyeol leans forward, elbows coming to rest on his knees. “I want to compose. Write for people, see my work being performed and loved by others.”

“We could collaborate,” Yixing suggests, a tentative smile on his face. Chanyeol lights up at the idea.

“I want a family,” Jongin blurts. “I want a kid, and a place of my own where I can have all my dogs running about without a care in the world.”

He pauses to glance over at Sehun, who’s gazing gently back at him.

“I want to marry you.”

Minseok chokes on a lungful of air and hacks away until his entire face is flushed red.

“This is not the time or place for a proposal,” he wheezes, “none of us are mentally prepared.”

“It’s not a proposal,” Jongin mumbles. “Just a desire.”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun says slowly, “why are you grinning?”

“Because Jongin wants to marry Sehun,” he answers, “and that’s amazing.”

“Can we get back to what we were discussing before?” Sehun asks, “I think that’s more of a pressing matter at this point.”

Minseok nods vehemently.

“But,” Sehun continues, giving Jongin a smile, “if you’re ever wondering, the answer will always be a yes.”

Kyungsoo buries his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder and lets out a dry sob.

Minseok swallows a pained sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “So I’m assuming we’re in agreement over EXO disbanding when we start to enlist?”

Eight other voices chorus in assent.

“Alright. So it’s decided then.”

“Minseok should officiate the wedding,” Baekhyun adds after a moment.

“We’re back on this topic again?” Minseok sighs, “but… yeah… I could get a license… and officiate…”

Baekhyun breaks out into an obnoxious cheer, and Chanyeol promptly joins in.

“You’d get a front row seat to all the kissing,” Jongdae crows, laughing as he attempts to make a kissy face. “Start mental preparations now.”

“I regret this already,” Minseok mutters, grunting as Sehun weasels up to him and gives him a suffocating hug.

 

 

 

  
Later that night, as Sehun’s falling asleep with his face pressed into Jongin’s chest, Jongin fumbles around for Sehun’s hand and plays with the promise ring on his middle finger.

“Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?” Sehun shifts slightly, tilting his head in order to free his lips.

“You’d say yes?”

“Who else would I say yes to,” Sehun mumbles sleepily. He hooks his index finger around Jongin’s, effectively stopping Jongin from moving his hand.

“Have you thought about this?”

Sehun tilts his head and stares up at Jongin’s face blearily. It’s dark, and he can barely make out the soft shine of Jongin’s eyes.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Sehun tells him confidently, “and it doesn’t matter if we actually get married or not, because what it all comes down to is you and me together until we’re both bald and wrinkly old men. I don’t care if this promise ring is the only ring on my hands that symbolises our relationship, because I’m not with you for rings. I just want you. For however long we’ll both live.”

Sehun cranes his neck and kisses Jongin on the chin.

“I know you think marriage is the biggest symbol of love and commitment and whatnot, but symbols of love don’t hold a candle to love itself. I know you love me. You can give me a ring pop and I’ll wear it on my hand for the rest of my life. We can design our own marriage certificate and frame it up. But these things are just that – things.”

Jongin’s quiet for a while, and if it isn’t for the firm grip he has on Sehun’s hand, Sehun would’ve assumed he fell asleep.

“You’re amazing, and it’s equally amazing how much I love you. I know what you’re telling me, but I still want to marry you,” Jongin finally says. “I want the flowers and the vows and our dogs walking down the aisle holding pillows in their mouths with our rings on them. I want the pictures, Junmyeon hyung’s tears, and the honeymoon.”

“We have four dogs,” Sehun laughs, “we don’t need four pairs of rings.”

“Vivi can hold the rings,” Jongin says, “my dogs can be his bodyguards.”

Sehun grins, lifting their interlaced fingers and resting them on Jongin’s chest.

“Okay. We can have a wedding. I want to see Junmyeon hyung cry, too.”

“This also doesn’t count as the proposal,” Jongin says, “just a promise, okay?”

“I promise,” Sehun nods.

Jongin buries his nose in Sehun’s hair and closes his eyes. He smiles, and the sweet curve of his lips does not slip from his face until he’s fallen asleep. Sehun, on the other hand, continues smiling even in his sleep. It would’ve been a beautiful sight, if anyone were awake to catch it.

 

 

 

  
The release of _Jupiter_ marks the start of spring and the growth of a new voice in the cinematic world. The short film produced by one of S.M. Entertainment’s budding producers and starring both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo explores a wide range of controversial topics currently present in South Korea, and as such, is deemed equally as controversial by film critics. Despite its nature, however, it does well in the select few theatres that are able to screen them, and both members receive generally positive reviews about their performances.

There’s a brief lull in their schedules as winter’s breath starts to fade away, only punctured with work in regards to _Phenomenon_ , and along with summer comes a new subunit. EXO: Eon, consisting of Jongdae, Kyungsoo, Minseok, and Chanyeol, debuts with a mini album titled _Callisto_. Yixing features once again as a composer, and Chanyeol works with Kyungsoo lyrically.

Baekhyun and Junmyeon rejoin Inkigayo as hosts, and as EXO: Eon embarks on their – successful – promotional period, the rest start preparations for their final concert tour. Plans for the tour are elaborate, to say the least, with each show stretching past three hours and featuring a heavy collection of sets and props, as well as a number of new tracks and interludes.

 _EXO From. EXOPLANET #4 – The Lunaris_ kicks off during the last week of July, hot on the heels of Minseok’s enlistment announcement. The members put all of their hearts and souls into this last tour, pushing through exhaustion, pain, and bluntly frayed nerves to give each and every fan the best of themselves that they can give.

 _The Lunaris_ sweeps fans all over the world off their feet. Not a single soul has a second to breathe between shows as they perform an average of seven shows a month. As the tour wraps up and Minseok prepares for his enlistment, the boys release a surprise farewell album, aptly titled _Hypernova_.

The brilliance of a star’s light is a startling mark of its death. But as it dies, a supernova will outshine everything else around it. A hypernova, however, marks the birth of something else – a stellar black hole. And nothing, no matter how hard it tries, can ever escape a black hole for as long as it exists.

 

 

 

  
“I’ll be waiting for you by the time you come out,” Jongin says quietly, a hand wrapped around Sehun’s wrist. There are fans swarming the area, despite both Kyungsoo and Jongin begging for a quiet enlistment. Chanyeol and Yixing are there to see them off as well, Chanyeol impulsively choosing to enlist later – around the same time as Sehun – in order to get to watch Kyungsoo get his head shaved.

“Work hard, but not too hard, okay? I don’t want you to hurt yourself too much, because let’s be real, you’re too prone to injuries to come out of this scot-free. Remember to eat, and drink lots of water. And do your laundry. Don’t steal anyone’s socks just because you forgot to wash yours.”

“He still has a pair of mine,” Yixing comments lightly, grinning when Jongin pulls an apologetic face.

“I’m sure it’s in my dresser somewhere,” he says, “please go look for it. Or you could leave it with me, you know, as a memento or something.”

“It’s not like I’ll never see you again,” Yixing laughs, “I still have plans for a good number of you. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”  
  
Chanyeol slings an arm around Kyungsoo and sighs.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” he complains. “How am I supposed to live for two years without having Kyungsoo’s food?”

“I stocked the freezer with leftovers,” Kyungsoo says. “Don’t finish everything in three days.”

He chokes on the last few words of his sentence as Chanyeol pulls him into a bone-crushing hug.

“I’ll miss you,” Chanyeol mutters into the stop of Kyungsoo’s freshly-shaven head. “Very much.”

Sehun steps into the crook of Jongin’s outstretched arm and repeats Chanyeol’s words. He can vaguely feel the steady beat of Jongin’s heart against his own chest.

“There’re a lot of things I want to say, but I can’t right now. You know what they are though, right?”

Jongin smiles and squeezes Sehun’s shoulder. “I know.”

“I’ll see you soon?”

“Two years will pass by in a heartbeat,” Jongin promises. “Just wait and see. We’ll fulfil your promise to me in no time.”

 

 

 

  
When Sehun enlists, he just has Yixing to say goodbye to – Chanyeol had enlisted just a few days before.

“Luhan sends you his best,” Yixing whispers, “and Yifan sent a video that I think is meant to wish you well, but I couldn’t really make out what he said…”

“He always made zero sense,” Sehun laughs, giving Yixing one last hug. “Bye, hyung. See you soon. I hope to hear more of your music while I’m being a great citizen for my country. And please keep _Phenomenon_ alive. Jongin and I have come to really love the project. Write all of us letters, okay? It’ll help keep your Hangul skills fresh, seeing as none of us will be able to be there to help you in person any longer.”

Yixing cringes at the thought. “I’ll try. Maybe I’ll look up and send Junmyeon four pages just of idioms. You think he’ll be proud?”

Sehun snorts. “You know he’ll see right through that, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Yixing sighs. “Okay, I’ll write you letters. I’ll include some Chinese in my letters to you too, so you can keep your Mandarin fresh. Deal?”

“Deal,” Sehun grins, and they shake on it.

 

 

 

  
It’s a scorching Wednesday afternoon when Sehun’s discharged from the army. The sound of screaming fangirls is something that he’s almost forgotten, but not quite. There’s a familiar huddle of people just off to the side of the exit, and Sehun fails spectacularly at hiding his smile when he sees them.

His family’s there, too, and Sehun stops to give his parents a long hug, knapsack lying by his feet. Planting a kiss on his mother’s cheek, he lets her coddle him as he gives his brother the customary fake punch to the gut.

“All grown up now,” his brother says, and Sehun sighs dramatically when he finds himself pulled into an embrace made up of long limbs.

“Unlike you,” Sehun replies, and bolts towards a madly waving Chanyeol with a cackle.

“Our baby maknae is home,” Chanyeol declares, and a few fans cheer along with him.

“Kyungsoo’s stuck at filming and Jongdae’s at a meeting, but they’ll be with us tonight,” Junmyeon cuts in as he forces Chanyeol’s arms down by his sides. Nothing seems to have changed much.

“Okay,” Sehun smiles, and gives Junmyeon a hug before straightening and looking around.

“Where’s –”

“Here,” Jongin’s voice answers, and Sehun spots a hand sticking up from behind a gigantic bouquet of flowers.

“Those are from me,” Baekhyun supplies. “Don’t you love them?”

“I would love them more if they didn’t cover Jongin’s face,” Sehun admits, reaching out for the bouquet. “But thank you, really.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Baekhyun grins. “But my true welcome gift to you is this: I’ll hold the flowers while you have a little moment with Jongin.”

Sehun hands the bouquet over to Baekhyun with a laugh, and as soon as his arms are free, he wraps one around Jongin’s neck and tucks the other underneath Jongin’s arm.

“I’m back,” he says, silently marvelling at the familiarity of all the edges and curves of Jongin’s body under his touch. There’s a small scar across Jongin’s shoulder that Sehun is positive is new, but that’s about it.

“You’re home,” Jongin agrees, and squeezes Sehun’s middle once more before pulling back. “I’ve missed you.”

“Can we do this later,” Minseok says loudly, stepping (quite literally) in-between them. “Our reservations are in two hours and you know how long it takes a few of us to get ready.”

Rolling his eyes affectionately, Sehun steps away from Jongin and takes the bouquet from Baekhyun. He gives it to his beaming mother, willing takes a hit from his brother, and shoulders his knapsack. Jongin’s flush against his side once more, and everything in this moment is perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s 2021. It’s the start of a new decade.

Both Jongin and Sehun choose to stay with S.M. Entertainment – Jongin takes a position as a choreographer, and Sehun finds a place in the company as an actor and a model. Kyungsoo and Junmyeon sign acting contracts with S.M. as well, and with Jongdae staying as a soloist and Chanyeol joining Yixing in composing, most of EXO find themselves still together – in a broad sense of the term.

Baekhyun and Minseok start up their own independent music label, with Minseok aspiring to find and work with hidden underground talents and Baekhyun wanting to have the freedom to experiment with various genres of music.

A new beginning is just like learning how to walk all over again. It’s different, not having to fight over the bathroom at ass o’clock in the morning. It’s different, not having arms and thighs pressed flush against each other in moving vehicles. It’s different, not having Junmyeon’s easy smile filling up dressing rooms and Chanyeol’s infamous laughter ringing in ears. It’s different – it just is.

But it’s a nice change. Going on slightly different roads gives them the chance to look forward to stages or shows where they’d inevitably meet. It gives them stories to tell over late-night suppers of chicken and beer, and it gives them time to miss one another.

At one point, Minseok had to phone Junmyeon at one in the morning because Baekhyun wouldn’t shut up.

“I miss you,” he’d wailed into the phone. “Can you come back and be my leader? Please? Baekhyun won’t stop singing at the top of his lungs and I can hear him all the way from the end of the hallway.”

All Junmyeon ended up doing was send Baekhyun a text. It worked, (un)surprisingly, and Minseok had peace and quiet for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

  
The trees are losing their leaves and Jongin has cranked the heater up in his dorm.

“Sehun,” Jongin begins, pulling the sleeves of his sweater over his fingers. His fingers always seem to be cold, no matter how warm he is. “What do you think about getting a place together? I should probably move out of the company’s dorms…”

“As long as we’re not walking distance from Chanyeol,” Sehun says, wrapping one of Jongin’s hands in his. “You know he’d demand for a key and pop in unannounced at the worst times.”

Jjangah – one of the perks of no longer being an idol is the fact that Jongin actually has time to care for his dogs now! – clambers into Sehun’s lap and curls up contentedly.

“So you’d be okay? With us living together?”

“Jongin,” Sehun says, amusement evident in his eyes, “have we not been living together for the past decade?”

“This is different,” Jongin insists, but he’s got that shy smile of his that Sehun adores painted across his lips.

“Okay,” Sehun concedes, “it’s different. Doesn’t change the fact that I’ll always want to live with you.”

Monggu barks.

“Stop being gross,” Jongin scolds. “It’s making Monggu cringe.”

 

 

 

  
Their mothers give them the keys to their new apartment – the couple had gladly handed the task of decorating over to their ever-eager mothers – on Christmas. There’s even a red and green bow threaded through the keyholes of the two keys.

“This is completely unnecessary,” Sehun says, letting his mother pull him into a hug.

“It is completely necessary,” she retorts. “This is a new phase of life for both you and Jongin – it deserves to be celebrated.”

Mrs. Kim nods in agreement. “Exactly. Now that you’ve moved in together, maybe we’ll get a wedding soon. And then, after that, grandkids.”

“Mom!”

“She speaks for the both of us,” Mrs. Oh says. “But we’ll discuss grandkids later. Now, we eat. The food’s getting cold.”

Sehun waits for their mothers to step out of earshot to lean close to Jongin.

“I want a baby girl,” he whispers. Jongin grips onto Sehun’s wrist and holds his gaze steady.

“We can have two baby girls,” he says firmly, and proceeds to kiss the smile off Sehun’s face.

 

 

 

  
Vivi’s trying his utmost best to coax Sehun into giving him a treat, but Sehun is having none of it. Jongin’s dogs watch the exchange with clear interest.

“You’ve been vacuuming up treats like you’re preparing for an apocalypse,” Sehun berates, “and if you keep going at that rate, you’re going to be your own apocalypse.”

Before Vivi can turn on his charm to the fullest, the door swings open and Jongin walks in, a sports bag slung over his shoulder and a sweat-soaked shirt clinging to every inch of skin.

“Taeyong is ridiculous,” Jongin says, gesturing to his shirt. “He asked me to run through the routine with him _twenty_ _extra times_ before he let me go. I mean, I know they’re having a comeback soon, but that boy is already the best that he can be.”

“Back then, you were the same. Wouldn’t stop until you yourself was satisfied. Didn’t matter what the choreographer said, didn’t matter what we said…”

Jongin stuffs his shoes into the shoe rack and sighs.

“I wish I knew back then that perfection isn’t something that’s attainable.” He disappears into the bedroom, and Sehun hears the soft thud of his sports bag hitting the carpeted floor. Sehun stands and makes his way into the bedroom – Vivi gives up and tries to find solace in his water bowl.

“I think that’s something everyone needs to find out for themselves,” he says. “Go take a shower, I’ll tell you all about what went down at filming today when you come out. Baekhyun visited – chatted up the assistant director and barely spoke a single word to me. And that was the first time in weeks that we’ve seen each other.”

Laughing, Jongin grabs a change of clothes and steps into the bathroom.

“Don’t invite him to be on the OST of your next drama,” Jongin suggests with a wink. “Invite Minseok instead.”

Sehun grins and makes himself comfortable on the bed. The shower turns on and Jongin starts humming.

“Nice song,” Sehun calls out. “The group behind this song must be legendary.”

Jongin’s rendition of _Love Me Right_ halts and Sehun hears his laugh as clear as day.

“I heard they were out of this world,” is Jongin’s clever reply. Sehun’s never been so proud to call Jongin his.

 

 

 

  
The proposals don’t go quite as planned. Well, one almost did – everything had gone according to the plan, including eight baby pugs with balloons tied to their middles that spell out _Marry Me?_ , until Sehun cracked open the ring box. That’s when the second proposal decided to interfere.

Sehun stares at the ring in his hands. There’s a balloon threatening to wrap its string around his one bended knee, but Sehun pays it no mind. One of the eight pugs waddles over to the corner of the room and squats, and the balloon tied around its middle bounces gently off the wall. Jongdae grimaces and pokes Junmyeon in the back. Junmyeon pretends that the growing pile of poo in the corner of his living room doesn’t bother him in the slightest.

“This… is not the ring I picked out,” Sehun mutters, sounding a little panicked. “What – where’s the ring I picked out?”

Jongin, with a pug in his hands, swallows past the shock in his throat and tears his gaze off Sehun’s face. He takes one look at the ring in Sehun’s hands and chokes.

“That’s the ring _I_ picked out for _you_.”

Sehun’s eyes fly up to Jongin’s face. The pug in Jongin’s hands is in charge of the _?_ balloon, and it blinks slowly at Sehun with large, large eyes.

“What?”

“Oh my god,” Minseok says in disbelief. “Sehun’s proposing to Jongin using the ring Jongin got for him?”

There’s a moment of stillness before Jongin moves, placing the pug down and gently lifting the ring box out of Sehun’s palm.

“Stand up,” he says, nudging Sehun’s shoulder. “This is your ring; I should be the one on bended knee.”

“But this proposal was meant for you,” Sehun bemoans, almost tripping over the _M_ pug as he rises to his feet reluctantly.

Jongin smiles, but the tight grip he has on the box gives away his nervousness, and the sight tugs on Sehun’s heartstrings. Jongin gets down on one knee, gives the _E_ pug a pat on the head, and cracks open the small, velvet box.

“Sehun-ah,” he begins, voice ever tender, “I’m terribly sorry for hijacking your proposal – and you have my permission to thoroughly embarrass me if you choose to propose again – but will you marry me anyway?”

Someone sniffs, and Sehun fights down the instinctive urge to turn around and see if it’s Junmyeon tearing up – it is – in favour of gazing down at Jongin’s face with equally tear-filled eyes.

“Yes. Yes, of course I will.”

The ring’s halfway on his finger when Sehun clears his throat and says, “I’ll never forgive you for stealing my proposal though.”

“Dude,” Chanyeol cuts in, “ _you_ took the wrong ring by mistake.”

“How did you even do that? Did the two of you choose to hide your rings in the same place? If so, how did you not notice the other box just sitting there?”

Jongin shrugs, lets his hyungs bicker over the possibilities of the origin behind that phenomenon, and leans in to kiss a very happy Sehun.

 

 

 

  
The wedding happens six months down the road, but it doesn’t go quite as planned, either. Jongin still wants the elaborate flower centrepieces, the vows, and their dogs walking down the aisle holding satin pillows in their mouths with their wedding rings on them, but when gay marriage isn’t recognised by your country, you can’t exactly have all of that.

That doesn’t mean that they decide to forgo a wedding altogether though. Junmyeon pulls a few strings and manages to rent out a large vacation house in Busan for a night. Jongin’s sisters, Amber, and Krystal take over decorations (along with the help of a few tall men), and the grooms’ mothers join Kyungsoo in the kitchen. Chanyeol, the self-appointed cameraman, films the entire process and ends up with a handful of SD cards stored in the camera bag. Taemin and Naeun – now engaged themselves – spend more time bickering over place settings than actually setting them out, and Yixing has to constantly rotate between Facetiming Luhan, Yifan, and Zitao.

Minseok, now officially an ordained minister, chooses to spend his time chasing after Jongin’s dogs as Vivi curls up in a corner, away from the madness. Moonkyu appears with a large fruit basket, and Jongin greets him with a long hug. Baekhyun and Jongdae find a spare room to practice the song – written and composed by Yixing – that they plan to play for the couple’s first dance. They lock the door after Chanyeol opens and closes it for the sixth time.

Using fairy lights as décor is more than a little commonplace, but it’s the best they can do under the circumstances. Jongin gets his flowers when his sisters manage to bring in a few large bouquets of anemones, magnolias, and roses, and Naeun offers up a wicker basket filled with ribbons of all colours and widths. The thick curtains are drawn in order to avoid prying eyes and the zooms of expensive camera lenses, and Kyungsoo is forced to cook part of the meal outdoors in order to make their cover story of having a barbecue seem believable.

The ‘barbecue’ also means no dressing up, but no one’s complaining – suits and formal dresses aren’t exactly the most comfortable things to wear.

A very patient Junmyeon manages to tie a small, satin pillow to the back of both Jjangah’s and Vivi’s backs, after which he threads the rings around a string and pins them in place. Their wedding rings are simple, a platinum band with a thin ring of diamonds cutting right through the middle. There, Jongin will get his wish of their dogs walking their rings down the aisle, too.

Sehun’s busy fretting over his vows out on the patio, and he’s in the middle of deciding whether or not to change a couple of lines when Yixing joins him.

“Don’t even read from the cards,” Yixing advises. “Just say whatever comes to you. He already knows you love him; isn’t that the heart of it all?”

 

 

 

  
“There was a day a few months ago,” Sehun begins, the note cards with his wedding vows written on them stashed away in the back pocket of his _Phenomenon_ skinny jeans, “where I walked in on you shaving. You had shaving cream on half of your face and a few spots on your pyjama tee. It’s not like I never walk in on you shaving, but this time, I took a few seconds to watch you. And in those few seconds, it hit me. The fact that I have never stopped adoring every single bit of you, from the day you told me I was your best friend back when we were still on the cusp of adolescence, until now.”

He pauses for a breath, but Jongin easily steals it away with the soft curve of his lips.

“I adore you, I do. From the way you give me back hugs to the way you manage to pucker your chin whenever I kiss the cleft. I didn’t say yes to your proposal because I promised you I would. I said yes because I can’t even begin to comprehend the idea of losing you, of never waking up next to you taking up the whole bed in your sleep. I’ve spent over a decade of my life madly in love with you, and I want to spend the rest of it the exact same way. Just as long as you agree, from now on, to never argue with me over who gets that first mug of coffee every morning.”

Mrs. Oh bursts into a flood of tears, and Sehun looks over in time to catch his father fussing over her. Even Minseok’s got a particularly bright shine to his eyes – he purposefully avoids looking straight at Sehun as he gestures for Jongin to speak.

“When I was a child,” Jongin says, “I promised my parents I would grow up to be confident, independent, and strong. I promised them I would work hard, that I would do my very best to become a son they’d be proud of. Nowadays, they tell me constantly that they’re proud of me, but I don’t think they realise that I’m only who I am, that I’ve achieved what I have achieved, largely because of you. The confidence I have in myself is strengthened by the knowledge that you’ve chosen to love me. My independence stems from you always telling me that I’m capable of being so. I’m strong because you’re strong for me, even in the toughest of times. Such a big part of me is you, Sehun; how would I ever be me if I don’t have you? I am so lucky to have you love me, but I’m even luckier that you were willing, all those years ago, to let me love you too. And yes, I promise to never argue with you over that first mug of coffee ever again. As long as I get it first.”

By the time Minseok lets them kiss, the only dry pairs of eyes in the house belong to the dogs.

 

 

 

  
The bedside lamps bathe the room in a nice wash of warm light, and apart from the sound of their breathing, the house is silent. Everyone had stepped out of the house after the ceremony in order to give the newlyweds some time alone, and Kyungsoo had cleverly pointed out that they could use the chance to actually have a barbecue.

As the grill fires up outside under the night sky, clothes are coming off indoors under the covers.

Sehun feels the muscles of Jongin’s back flex underneath his fingers, and he keens when Jongin pushes a finger into him, the stretch slow and smooth. The light catches on the new, platinum band that sits right above his engagement ring, and Sehun can’t help but break out into a smile.

“This is like our first time all over again,” Jongin murmurs, dipping his head and letting his lips skim across the slope of Sehun’s bare shoulder.

“It definitely is not like our first time together,” Sehun laughs breathlessly, running the flat of his palm down Jongin’s back and resting it over subtle back dimples. “If it was like our first time, you’d be asking me if I was okay every other second.”

Jongin pushes a second finger in and leans down to kiss the laughter off his husband’s lips. Sehun parts his lips easily and willingly, and it takes a split second for Jongin to realise that every single point of Sehun’s teeth is familiar to him.

“What are you thinking about?”

A hand ghosts between his thighs, and Jongin pulls back just in time to take a breath before Sehun gives his erection a feather-light stroke.

“About how I’ve kissed you way too many times to count,” he says truthfully. Humming, Sehun wraps a hand around Jongin’s dick, twists his wrist, and gives the crown a few swipes. Jongin exhales.

Sehun doesn’t say anything, and Jongin doesn’t demand a response. When Jongin’s three fingers deep into Sehun, the latter pulls Jongin closer and whispers for _more_.

There are familiar fingers spread out across his ass, and Jongin kisses down an equally familiar jaw as he rocks into Sehun.

“Love you,” Sehun sighs. He closes his eyes, hooks an ankle around Jongin’s and coaxes Jongin a little deeper into him.

“Love you,” Jongin echoes, and the words blend in seamlessly with Sehun’s moans.

 

 

 

  
Everyone’s spread out around the outside of the house, and the grill’s no longer hot. The stars are hanging high in the sky, and the sound of crickets is starting to penetrate through the soft hum of conversations.

Chanyeol sets his empty plate aside and looks over at Kyungsoo.

“Do you ever think of starting a family?”

The corner of Kyungsoo’s lips quirk.

“Yes, I do.”

A large hand closes over his, and Kyungsoo looks up from his plate to see Chanyeol gazing at him. _Those eyes_ , Kyungsoo thinks, _I will always be in love with those eyes._

“You know I love you, right?”

Kyungsoo smiles.

“Yes, I do.”

 

 

 

  
A whole wall in their apartment is dedicated to pictures of their honeymoon – a two-week long backpacking trip across Europe. They had returned with a newfound hatred of heavy backpacks but with a plethora of wonderful memories they wouldn’t give up for the world.

There’s one picture, placed right in the middle of all the others, that is Sehun’s favourite. It’s of them, hand in hand, looking out over the precipice into the sunset. The only thing visible is the bright orange of the sky fading into paler shades and their laced fingers.

Jongin’s favourite picture, however, is of Sehun laughing with food in his mouth. He only managed to convince Sehun to let him put it up on the wall by promising to do the laundry and dishes for the next three months.

The honeymoon phase of their marriage passes by in a heartbeat, but they’re not sad to see it go. It simply means they’re about to live another day being each other’s husbands, and that is something they look forward to each night.

 

 

 

  
Sehun looks up from his script when a shadow falls over the page.

“Yes?”

A pamphlet is thrust under his nose, and Sehun leans back to peer at it.

“Surrogacy?”

Jongin nods. “If you still want a baby girl, that is. It’s totally fine if you don’t, I was just –”

“You promised me two baby girls,” Sehun interrupts, setting his script aside. “If you still want two, that is. It’s totally fine if you don’t.”

Jongin stares down at the smile on Sehun’s face.

“Well,” he says slowly after a moment of silence. “Wanna practice? For when we need to give in our… samples?”

“Do you think they’ll let us bring samples from home?” Sehun asks, getting off the couch. Jongin pulls him into the bedroom.

“We should ask.”

“We should,” Sehun agrees, and proceeds to seal their lips together.

Jongin pushes Sehun’s hips into the mattress and tugs on the drawstrings of his sweats.

“Babies, here we come.”

“Oh, we’ll come alright,” Sehun grins, slipping his hands underneath Jongin’s boxers and smoothing his palms over the curve of Jongin’s ass.

“That… was pretty good,” Jongin admits. Sehun winks and lets Jongin rid him of his pants.

 

 

 

  
Baby Kim Jieun comes into their lives in the spring of 2024, and her birthday happens to fall on the same day as Minseok’s.

“That automatically means I’ll be her favourite uncle,” Minseok says confidently, and Jierun wraps her fingers around Minseok’s thumb in a clear promise.

Jongin leaves S.M. Entertainment soon after Jieun’s birth in order to spend more time at home with her, and his parents and parents-in-laws keep him company, as well as his former members. In fact, Kyungsoo grows to be exceptionally enamoured by her, and it takes a great deal of coaxing by Minseok for Kyungsoo to hand Jieun over whenever they end up visiting at the same time. One day, after witnessing Kyungsoo _pout_ when he has to give up Jieun, Jongdae turns to Chanyeol with a serious look on his face.

“When do you plan to give Kyungsoo a kid? If the answer to that is not ‘soon’, I think he’ll end up stealing Jieun for himself.”

Chanyeol splutters, and Kyungsoo gives Jongdae a hard kick to the butt.

Unlike their marriage, the media picks up on the surrogacy almost instantly. But neither Sehun nor Jongin address the rumours, and despite their efforts, nothing the press puts out ends up being confirmed or denied.

Baby Oh Sunyoung joins the family in 2025, and her birthday falls a few days short of Jongdae’s.

With the addition of Sunyoung, Baekhyun and Chanyeol start up a scrapbooking project (Junmyeon’s girlfriend looks at them oddly when they announce it, and Junmyeon reluctantly admits to her that this is not out of the ordinary whatsoever). They give the project the codename Project Divergence, and they spend way too much time noting down and creating pages that display the differences between the two girls.

“Sunyoung kicks a lot,” Baekhyun says one day. “Jieun doesn’t. Maybe Sunyoung will grow up to be a footballer.”

“That prediction is based on such solid intel,” Minseok says dryly. Baekhyun ignores him.

“Jieun never finishes her bottle,” Sehun adds absently. He’s in the middle of feeding Sunyoung, and the girl’s almost through with her bottle.

“She does when I feed her,” Jongin singsongs.

“That’s because she has your DNA. She’s very biased,” Sehun mutters, setting the empty bottle aside and cradling Sunyoung flush against his chest. He pats her on the back until she lets out a satisfying burp.

At the sound, Jieun lets out a muted cry. Junmyeon takes Sunyoung out of Sehun’s hands, and Jongin hands Jieun over. She stops fussing immediately.

“Come again? What did you say about Jieun being biased?”

“Oh shush,” Sehun mumbles, turning away from his husband as he gives his older daughter a kiss on the forehead. Jongin sits back in his chair, satisfied.

The door opens, and Yixing shuffles in with a huge parcel in his hands.

“Luhan sent this over,” he pants, setting it down against the wall. “He says it’s all baby stuff, but I’m pretty sure at least half of whatever is inside has to do with Manchester United.”

Minseok laughs, “I’m certain that his ultimate goal is to have at least one of the girls be a Man U fan. But don’t worry, I’ll fight the Man U away with Barcelona.”

Jongin clears his throat. “Excuse me. I’m the dad. That automatically means they’re both Chelsea fans.”

Chanyeol flips to a new a page in the scrapbook.

“Which team do you think the girls will end up supporting?”

Sehun places Jieun back in her playpen and strides into the kitchen for a glass of water. On the way back, he stops next to Jongin and gives Jongin’s neck a squeeze.

“As long as you promise never to trek mud and grass into the house, you are free to raise them to be footballers.”

Jongin spins around, excited. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I love you,” Jongin declares, and Sehun bends down to give him a kiss.

“I know. I love you, too.”

 

 

 

  
Life is just a game until you fall in love. After that, it’s a myriad of tangled sheets, handholding, and constant declarations of love. The best part, however, is the lifelong competition you’ll have with the person you love – to see who can love the other the most.

**Author's Note:**

> God, I fixed so many problems while re-reading this I feel so bad lmao  
> Idk if it's considered excessive, but I apologise for the use of 'hyung' lol.
> 
>  
> 
> [Click for Links!](https://bluedveins.wixsite.com/evoxine)


End file.
